Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 51 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: I never joke about safety.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?
Sheldon: Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Penny: Hay Leonard, check this out. * Throws won-ton in the air and catches it in her mouth *
Sheldon: Leonard, she's doing it again.
Leonard: I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food.
Sheldon: No, it upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it from the containers with out guard of equitable distribution. * Turns to Raj * This is essentially why you have famine in India.
Penny: You want me to put it back? *Said with mouth full of food *
Sheldon: Leonard!
Leonard: It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Kurt: You are lucky little dwarf.
Sheldon: He is a hobbit! Don't worry, I've got your back!

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Sheldon: I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it's more like Doctor Why Bother.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Leonard: Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
Sheldon: Well of course he is. She's very interesting. Did you know, when she was 14 she severed the webbing between her own toes?

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Chinese Food, Vintage video games. After the nightmare of Anything Can Happen Thursday, this is Friday night the way it was meant to be.
Howard: Who's up for Sheldon-Free Saturday?

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud.
Raj: A Milk Dud?
Sheldon: Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavour, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
Leonard: I got a better idea. Were all responsible. I say we all go. Come on, who's with me? Free comic books to anyone who comes with me. I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
Raj: Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing yourself.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: I'd like to have a talk about relationships.
Raj: You were supposed to have the talk with him.

Quote from the episode The Prestidigitation Approximation

Sheldon: If you plan on having children I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers. Your testicles look a tad warm.

Quote from the episode The Clean Room Infiltration

Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love but it has a lot of raisins in it.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Worker: Does it say I give a damn?
Sheldon: No.
DMV Worker: That's because I don't.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Penny: Cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine!

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Sheldon: The need to find another human being to share one's life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I'm so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own.

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