Amy: Look, I know you both feel bad about being alone, but sometimes the best thing you can do is take a little time for yourself, especially when you just got out of a relationship.
Sheldon: Speaking of ending relationships, when British Honduras became Belize, they designed a new flag with a tree on it, and I would like to hang myself from that tree.

Meemaw: Moonpie!
Sheldon: Meemaw! I'm so happy to see you!
Meemaw: I'm happy to see you, too!
Sheldon: Oh, you got even smaller. I love it!

Sheldon: And now that I think about it. I stood in front of a case of iPods and I bought a Zune.
Amy: What's a Zune?
Sheldon: Exactly! It's an MP3 people brought to us by the makers of Xbox.

Penny: *using Sheldon's knock* Sheldon? Sheldon? Sheldon? *Sheldon answers with a suspicious and smiling look on his face*
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of wanna do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it. You'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Sheldon: I tried fencing today.
Amy: How'd that go?
Sheldon: It was pretty easy. And I think my background in "mathletics" helped.

Sheldon: When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny: No. He blew up the death star. ... Why do I know this?

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

Sheldon: Would you care to play an ocean-themed game I invented?
Amy: Sure. What is it?
Sheldon: It's called Food, Friend, Fight. One of us chooses three aquatic creatures, and the other one must decide which he would eat, befriend, or battle.
Amy: So it's like Kiss, Marry, Kill.
Sheldon: What is that?
Amy: It's a game where you're given three people and you choose which one you'd kiss, marry, or kill.
Sheldon: Well, my game is better, 'cause instead of marrying someone, you get to eat them.

Howard: You reported me to human resources?
Sheldon: You violated the sanctity of my mouth.

Leonard: What's this?
Sheldon: Tea. it's costumary to serve hot beverages when one is in emotional distress. [pats Leonard's head] There there. You want to talk about it?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Thank godness. 'There there' was really all I had.

Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: I was examining perturbutive amplitudes in N=4 supersymeteric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multiloop N=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.

Leonard: Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights and you'd have to make others arrangements?
Sheldon: You did.
Leonard: And?
Sheldon: I didn't.

Sheldon: You're my girlfriend and you're not going to cater to my every need? Where'd the magic go?

Raj: They're going to digitally add a supernova they say its the perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent.
Sheldon: Yes, a giant ball of gas that collapses on itself.

Sheldon: Eugh, English pudding. You get yourself all excited for pudding and here comes a cake with raisins in it.