Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 2 of 17

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Stuart: Hey, guys.
Howard: You're home late.
Stuart: Uh, yeah. I had a crazy night. I went to the pharmacy. I like to be there when the new decongestants drop.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Leonard: We know you were at Wil's D&D game. We saw you on Instagram. We just want to know how you got invited.
Stuart: I can't talk about it or they won't invite me back next week.
Leonard: So there's another game next week.
Stuart: I didn't mean to say that.
Howard: Who's in it?
Stuart: I can't tell you!
Raj: How do we get invited?
Stuart: I don't know!
Sheldon: How many hit dice are they playing the wereboar as having?
Stuart: 12d8 + 24. I mean, I don't know!

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Raj: Cut the crap. We know where you were. We know what you were doing.
Stuart: Yeah, I just told you. I was at CVS breathing my ass off.
Sheldon: Oh, you were breathing, all right. You were breathing the rarefied air of celebrities.
Stuart: I don't know what you're talking about.
Raj: Then why are you trembling?
Stuart: I'm always trembling.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Stuart: Is it just me or has no one been in the store for hours?
Denise: Yeah, it is weirdly quiet. [gasps] Nobody's in the street.
Stuart: Huh. Well, that's strange.
Denise: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Stuart: They cut that meteorite open and unleashed a space plague?
Denise: Exactly.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Stuart: Let me just lock up here.
Denise: Okay. So what do we do?
Stuart: Uh, well, if this is a worst-case scenario and we're the last two people alive, we're gonna, we're gonna have to rebuild civilization.
Denise: Do you have any special skills?
Stuart: I can draw. How 'bout you?
Denise: I can play clarinet.
Stuart: Oh, I didn't know that.
Denise: Yeah, ten years.
Stuart: Ah. You know, it, uh, might also be up to us to repopulate the Earth.
Denise: I'm okay with that.
Stuart: So shall we?
Denise: Wait here. I'm gonna brush my teeth.
Stuart: Sorry, we're closed!
Sheldon: This is going on Yelp!

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Leonard: Just seems dumb to not use the laser.
Stuart: Not as dumb as unleashing a plague on mankind, but, hey, what do we know?
Leonard: Literally nothing.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Stuart: Whoa, whoa. You're not gonna cut open a meteor, are you? Have you not learned anything from comic books? Space viruses? Pod people? I sell nothing but warnings.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

[Leonard sneezes]
Stuart: You okay?
Leonard: Yeah.
Stuart: Great, 'cause you just bought that whole row of Batmans.
Leonard: Sorry, I [sneeze]
Stuart: And now you bought Aquaman. Good choice.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Denise: Um, Sheldon.
Penny: Raj.
Denise: Amy.
Penny: I'll take Anu.
Denise: Howard.
Penny: All rightie.
Stuart: Come on, pick me, pick me.
Penny: I will take ... Stuart.
Stuart: Yes!

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Stuart: Ah, look, I'm sorry that I freaked out. It's just that things are going so good with us, and I'm afraid that if we go too fast, I am gonna mess it up.
Denise: I get that. I don't want to mess things up, either.
Stuart: Um, I got you something. It's a key to my place to show you that I'm serious.
Denise: Thank you. Mm. Well, isn't this technically a key to Howard and Bernadette's place?
Stuart: Yes, so don't ever use it or let them know that you have it.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Denise: Come here.
Stuart: Oh. Uh, no. I appreciate it, but seriously, this is all bruise.
Denise: Kiss?
Stuart: Gently. Ow.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Stuart: Ow. I'm hit. Ow. I said I was hit.
Denise: Sorry.
Stuart: Ow. Why do you keep shooting me?
Denise: Why don't you want to move in with me?
Stuart: I-I didn't say I didn't want to.
Denise: No, you just ran away. Stuart? Stuart?! Did you run away again?
Stuart: [in the distance] No.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Stuart: I didn't know your roommate was moving out.
Denise: Yeah. I've been looking for a new one, but so far no luck.
Penny: You hear that? She needs a roommate.
Stuart: (mumbling)
Denise: What do you think, Stuart?
Stuart: (mumbling): Uh, i-i-i, uh... Flight. Flight. [Stuart walks out]
Penny: That was hard to watch.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Stuart: Would you mind stocking these?
Denise: Actually, I'm not on the clock today. I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend.
Stuart: Ah, cool. Huh. That's me, right?
Denise: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I broke up with you, and now I'm dating that guy.
Stuart: I know you're joking, but my flight-or-flight response doesn't.
Denise: Isn't it fight-or-flight?
Stuart: Not for me.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Denise: That's a lot of bruises.
Stuart: Yeah, well, you shot me a lot of times. That's not even counting the bruises on the inside.
Denise: 'Cause I hurt your feelings?
Stuart: Let's hope that's all it is.

Showing quotes 16 to 30 of 244Sort by  popularity | date added | episode