Amy: Stuart, believe it or not, I understand. You know, before I met Sheldon, I was alone for a really long time. I was so desperate for people to like me, when I met these guys, it took everything in my power to hide my insecurity.
Stuart: Okay, we're all feeling it. Yes, I'll go out with you.

Stuart: I don't mean to be rude, Sheldon, but my life is kinda falling apart right now.

Georgie: Hey, uh, I got a question. Why aren't there tires on any of those Star Wars vehicles?
Mark Hamill: (chuckles) I'm sure some of them had tires.
Stuart: Actually, they don't. I mean, the HAVw A5 turbo tank has metal gripping wheels, but I wouldn't call them tires.
Denise: You are so hot.

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, hey, Raj. What can I help you with?
Raj: I need to buy an engagement gift.
Stuart: Oh, well, you came to the wrong place.

Howard: Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest, we're gonna have to divide and conquer. I've got one monitor for her, one for the baby. Which do you want?
Stuart: I'll take the baby. She's less emasculating.

Raj: Hey, Stuart. You want to mine some Bitcoin with us? We'll write the program, you bring the snacks?
Stuart: Too rich for my blood.

Leonard: I got them on Amazon.
Stuart: Sure, I get it. Why support a friend when you can support a multinational conglomerate that is crushing the life out of that friend?
Leonard: I know, but when I shop online I can do it on the toilet.
Stuart: Have you seen my store? The whole place is a toilet.

Stuart: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Hey.
Stuart: Where is everybody?
Howard: I could ask you the same question.
Stuart: Wow, this conversation got mean fast.

Howard: I mean, your life's a mess. I don't see you blaming other people for it.
Stuart: That's right. I grew up in a loving, supportive household. This is all on me.

Stuart: Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.
Raj: I have an extra ticket to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight. It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it.
Stuart: You two had a good run.

Bernadette: How could you?!
Howard: We made it this far without knowing, and you ruined it!
Raj: Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is to know something like this and not say it!
Stuart: You told me it was a girl, and I didn't say it.
Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: You were supposed to keep that to yourself.
Stuart: Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard.

Sheldon: Hey, Stuart, I'd like to sell some comic books.
Stuart: Oh. Well, I know all about that. Step one is flunk out of art school.

Stuart: How much do you need?
Sheldon: For a start, I'm trying to raise $500,000.
Stuart: Well, I hope you have that rare Superman printed on the skin of actual Superman.

Raj: So, yeah, Mr. Mark? When you were on the, uh, Wookiee home planet, how did you even understand what they were saying?
Mark Hamill: I don't remember ever being on a Wookiee home planet.
Stuart: Uh, actually, Luke was on the Wookiee home planet, Kashyyyk, in the Holiday Special when he helped Chewie get home to his wife.
Mark Hamill: Chewie had a wife?
Stuart: Her name's Malla.
Denise: Wow, that's impressive.
Stuart: Yeah.

Bernadette: Stuart. He's been living with us for a while now. I'm sure he'd love to get us out of his hair.
Stuart: Nope, couldn't be happier.
Bernadette: Well, Sheldon's looking for a -
Stuart: Nope!
Bernadette: He'll think about it.
Stuart: No I won't!