Zack Johnson Quotes Page 1 of 4

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Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: You want to go with em?
Penny: No.
Zack: Okay, see you later.
Penny: Wait, w-w-wait-wait-wait, youre ditching me to go look at comic books?
Zack: Are you mad at me?
Penny: Im not happy.
Zack: Milk Dud?

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: How can you bounce a laser off the moon if there's no gravity?

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig.
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Honey, there is no "I" in "Justice League."

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Sheldon: Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, hot tub is the generic term, i.e., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
Zack: Is that like all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs?
Sheldon: Surprisingly, yes.
Zack: Nice! Now what exactly are toes?

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: I just think splitting up can be rough on kids.
Penny: We don't have any kids.
Zack: Are you sure? 'cause you didn't know we were married until this morning.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Leonard: Don't worry about the moon. We, we set our laser to stun.
Zack: Smart.
Leonard: Now, we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves, but it won't be strong enough when it comes back to be seen by the naked eye.
Zack: (chuckling) Naked.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: Whoa, You dated Penny?
Leonard: She didn't tell you?
Zack: She told me she dated a guy named Leonard. Who would have thought it was you?
Leonard: Who else would it be?
Zack: I don't know. Somebody bigger and - yeah, sure. Why not you?

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished!

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: Wow, this place is awesome. Where do they keep the Archies?
Sheldon: In the bedrooms of ten-year-old girls, where they belong.
Zack: Oh, no, you're thinking old-school Archie. It's much more sophisticated now. Like, there's two universes, and Archie's married to Betty in one and Veronica in the other. Midge is even breaking up with Moose.
Raj: No.
Zack: About time, right?
Stuart: Hey.
Zack: Hey.
Stuart: You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?
Leonard: Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack. He's a friend of ours. Zack, this is Stuart. He owns the store.
Zack: Wow, lucky you.
Stuart: Yeah, I work 70 hours a week and average a dollar sixty five an hour.
Zack: Sweet.
Stuart: Is that sarcasm?
Howard: Uh, no, it's an indictment of the American education system.
Raj: The Archies are over here.
Zack: Yippee.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: Not cool, bro. I'm starting to think you're not the kind of guy I want dating my wife.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Leonard: Yeah, well, she's not going to be your wife for long.
Zack: (To Penny) Oh no, are you dying!?

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Leonard: Think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
Zack: What species is that?

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: Hey, I want to see this laser thing.
Penny: Oh, but what about the party?
Zack: It's a surprise party, doesn't matter when we get there.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: You know what they say. Happy wife - Happy life. Let's eat!

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