Quotes from ‘The Veracity Elasticity’

The Veracity Elasticity

'The Veracity Elasticity' - Season 10, Episode 7

After Amy's apartment is ready to move back into, she lies to Sheldon about the state of the construction work so they can keep living together. Meanwhile, Leonard learns that Penny has been secretly moving his collectibles into storage.

Air Date: November 3, 2016.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind, I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic sport, I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is and then I'd take home the gold.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Sheldon, this is not a big deal. It's a little white lie, everyone does it.
Raj: Not me, I'm a 100% honest in all of my relationships.
Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating-cake-on-the-toilet single.

Quote from Raj

Raj: If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Why would she keep something from me, you know? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password. They recommended "Stella Got Her Groove Back" because of her.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Everybody wants to spend more time with me. I'm like a man made of sugar in a world of ants.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Buddy, buddy, listen, nothing bad is going on, she just she just didn't want you to know that the work on her apartment was finished a couple weeks ago.
Sheldon: I don't understand.
Leonard: She's enjoying living with you and she didn't want it to end early.
Sheldon: So, she's deceiving me in order to spend more time with me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, I feel both flattered and hurt. Like when people say I look like that skeleton from Nightmare Before Christmas.
Raj: Oh my God, that's who you look like.

Quote from Amy

Amy: What's going on?
Sheldon: I'm struggling with the thought of leaving my old bedroom.
Amy: Can it be more of an internal struggle?
Sheldon: I have to see it. While I'm gone, don't breathe on my pillow.
Amy: How about if I just don't breathe at all?
Sheldon: That's my girl.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Which is why I got you this Pink Power Ranger. Put it anywhere you like.
Penny: Okay, but you may feel some discomfort.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: We're also coming to you live from a different apartment.
Sheldon: Dr. Fowler and I began an experiment in living together after her apartment became water damaged. This is our friend Penny's place. You may remember her from our episode "Flags: And the People Who Don't Understand Them."

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: So, in the spirit of cohabitation, the theme of today's episode is flags of two regions coming together as one.
Amy: Such as the flag of St. Kitts and Nevis.
Sheldon: So, let's roll up our "sleevis" and get to know Nevis.
*Howard plays a rimshot sound*
Sheldon: Well, I-I like that, but next time check with me.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Thank you for your services, gentlemen. I'm hoping to broaden our audience with your youthful rock and roll music.
Howard: (chuckling) Aw, you think you have an audience, that's funny.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: It's almost dinner time. You in the mood for anything?
Sheldon: Yeah, we could get Thai food near your apartment and then drop in and check on the progress.
Amy: Oh, you don't want do that, it's a construction zone.
Sheldon: So?
Amy: Well, what about your fear of stray nails and butt cracks?
Sheldon: I am terrified of stepping on a nail and falling into a butt crack.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: No, I have the feeling that she's hiding something.
Leonard: I wouldn't worry about it. She's probably just distracted by work.
Sheldon: Well, whatever it is, it's troubling me. I can't eat, I can't sleep. And don't even ask about the consistency of my bowel movements.
Howard: You heard him, guys, don't ask.

Quote from Amy

Penny: So, what's the deal with your apartment? Why's it taking so long?
Amy: Um, it was a drywall problem.
Penny: Oh, no, what happened?
Amy: Well, the drywall got wet, and you do not want wet drywall because when drywall gets wet, it's really more-
Penny: Wet wall?
Amy: Or damp wall, just as bad.
Penny: Mm. So why don't they just get more drywall?
Amy: Well, they went to get some, but the woman at the wall store said it was going on sale and they should wait because the savings-
Penny: Okay, are you done? Bernadette told me your apartment's ready.
Amy: I was done at "wet wall" but you wouldn't let it go.

Quote from Amy

Penny: But is Sheldon really believing all this crap?
Amy: Well, he started to question it, but then I fake sneezed on him and he ran to take a shower.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Are you going to confront Penny?
Leonard: Eventually, I guess. Although, I am kind of curious how long she thinks she can keep hiding my stuff without me knowing.
Sheldon: Hmm. You know, perhaps instead of confronting them, we should see how far they're willing to spin their tangled webs. Like that Spider-Man action figure that used to be on your desk.
Leonard: Oh my God, I'm going blind.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Why are you speaking Klingon?
Sheldon: Why are you speaking English?

Quote from Penny

Amy: I'm sorry that I lied about my apartment.
Sheldon: It's all right.
Leonard: And...
Penny: And what? Your wizard robes are next to go.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: You know, if he moves across the hall for good, Leonard could keep the stuff you don't like in Sheldon's old room. Solves everything.
Penny: That's a great idea!
Leonard: Ooh, maybe I could turn it into a gaming den.
Raj: That would be amazing.
Sheldon: Wait, wait, hold on - excuse me, that's my room.
Leonard: But you won't be living here.
Sheldon: But that's my room.
Leonard: But you won't be living here.
Sheldon: But that's my room.
Leonard: You guys might want to start eating. But you won't be living here.
Penny: Sweetie, once you stop paying rent, none of this is really yours.
Sheldon: But that's my room.
All: But you won't be living here!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I suppose we could find a whole new place. You know, and, technically, we don't even have to stay in Pasadena. We could, we could move to Altadena or a place that doesn't even end in "dena."

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: It's kind of exciting. I mean we could do whatever we want.
Sheldon: But what if we move and we don't like it? What if there's a smoker in the building? Or pets? Or there could be mold. There could be traffic noise.
*Amy humming the theme from Star Trek*
Sheldon: I'm gonna have to learn a whole new bus route. Are you trying to soothe me by singing the Star Trek theme as a lullaby?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: I'm not a child, don't do that.
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: Do you know 2001: A Space Odyssey?
*Amy humming "Also sprach Zarathustra*
Sheldon: All right, now that's soothing.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: I'm kidding, I want you to feel at home here. Decorate it any way that makes you happy.
Penny: Do you really mean that?
Leonard: I really do.
Penny: Great, and just so you know, I'm not getting rid of all your stuff.
Leonard: Yeah? What are you keeping?
Penny: That candle and ... you.
Leonard: What about my robot poster?
Penny: Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh- I can make do with just the candle.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Okay, last question. The chaps he was wearing assless?
Sheldon: Can we just focus on the decision I'm facing?
Raj: We can, but for the record, all chaps are assless.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Gentlemen, please, this is a significant decision. Now, do Amy and I continue living together? Or do I move back in with Leonard?
Leonard: Over my assless chaps you will.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: She took my Where's Waldo.
Sheldon: Well, no, no, he's over there.
Leonard: Oh, yeah, there he is.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: I'm serious, JPL's actually developing a robot arm that could grab an asteroid before it hits us.
Leonard: So their plan for saving the Earth from Armageddon is hoping a bunch of scientists can catch a ball?

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Hit it.
*Howard playing keyboards and Raj playing guitar*
Howard: (Singing) For joy and fun, there's no better manner, than to fly a pennant, flag or banner
Raj: What fills my heart, and makes my eyes moist, sending a flag, up a pole on a hoist.
Raj & Howard: Fun with Flags, Fun with Flags
Howard: Oh! Say can you see.
Raj: It's Fun with Flags.
Raj & Howard: Fun with Flags.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: As you may notice, just one of the changes around here is our new house band.
*Howard plays a keyboard solo*
Sheldon: Who haven't learned their place yet.

Quote from Leonard

Bernadette: Well, they finished the work early, but she's been telling Sheldon they're behind schedule.
Leonard: So, she's just been lying to him?
Penny: Well, you've lied to Sheldon.
Leonard: Yeah, but to make him leave, not to make him stay.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Buda and Pest united to form Budapest. And that's why Budapest is the "Budabest".

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: So, uh, what about dinner?
Sheldon: Is it me or are you purposely changing the subject?
Amy: No. And on the subject of subjects, is your use of the word "subject" the same or different as when we speak about the subject of a king?
Sheldon: I have a feeling you're still doing it. But I find that topic irresistible, so, now, in ancient Mesopotamia, the king referred to the people as his property.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: You're awful quiet, everything okay?
Sheldon: I'm concerned about Amy. She's acting a bit odd lately.
Howard: Oh, well, j-just out of curiosity, what registers as odd to you?

Quote from Howard

Howard: See, I've known that for weeks, but, you know, I waited till the moment when it would cause him the most pain.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Superman's gone. My stormtrooper's gone.
Sheldon: Your Klingon word-of-the-day calendar's gone.
Leonard: I'd say "damn it" in Klingon, but that wasn't until next month.
Sheldon: It's "khoo-vakh".
Leonard: Khoo-vakh!

Quote from Penny

Leonard: And what's it called when you secretly get rid of all your husband's stuff?
Penny: Wha-That is not true!
Leonard: Bernadette told Howard, Howard told me. Plus, I can see all my stuff is gone!
Penny: Oh, so, you believe your friend, and your friend's wife and your own eyes over me? Wow.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: You really didn't think I'd notice my stuff was missing?
Penny: Uh, did you notice your key chain?
*Leonard goes to the door and checks his keys*
Leonard: Where's Batman?!

Quote from Raj

Raj: I'm not really a part of this, so I'm just gonna dig in.

Quote from Penny

Raj: Now that everything's out on the table, you think you two will keep living together?
Sheldon: Despite recent events, I do consider our experiment in cohabitation to have been positive.
Amy: Are you saying you'd like to live with me?
Sheldon: I'm open to the possibility.
Amy: (gasps)
Penny: Amy, b-be, b-cool.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: If we did continue living together, would it be here?
Amy: I don't know. It could be.
Sheldon: Of course there's there's always your apartment.
Amy: Sure, sure, we could live in my apartment.
Sheldon: I hate your apartment.
Amy: Sorry, you brought it up?

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: This isn't complicated. Do you love Amy?
Sheldon: Yes.
Raj: Do you like living with her?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Do you know what you need to do now?
Sheldon: Apparently, figure this out on my own 'cause you guys are no help at all.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm just contemplating Buridan's donkey.
Amy: I understand. I'll leave you be.
Sheldon: What, you're familiar with the reference?
Amy: Of course. Jean Buridan proposed a philosophical thesis stating that a hungry donkey placed between two equidistant bales of hay would be paralyzed by indecision and would starve to death.
Sheldon: Exactly.
Amy: Well, I wouldn't want you to starve to death, so here's an eggplant.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: You know, some people believe that Buridan was plagiarizing Aristotle.
Sheldon: Really?
Amy: Although, in Aristotle's example, he proposed an equally hungry and thirsty man caught between food and drink.
Sheldon: Huh. Yeah, I wonder if that's related to the 12th century Persian philosopher, Al-Ghazali and his story of a man caught between two dates.
Amy: Are you suggesting Al-Ghazali was Aristotelian? 'Cause if anything, he was anti-Aristotelian.
Sheldon: Al-Ghazali was anti-Aristotelian? Boy, you think you know a guy.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Just hiding some stuff in your closet, don't tell Penny.

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