Quotes from ‘The Emotion Detection Automation’

The Emotion Detection Automation

'The Emotion Detection Automation' - Season 10, Episode 14

Sheldon tries to improve his understanding of people's emotions by beta testing a new MIT invention which can detect how people are feeling. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny argue when she wants to invite her brother to stay with them, and Raj†convenes a meeting of his ex-girlfriends to try understand why they broke up with him.

Air Date: February 2, 2017.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him it's not a good time for Randall to visit.
Penny: Hopefully, he won't be too upset.
Leonard: Oh, you're his little girl. He can't stay mad at you.
Penny: He won't be mad at me. I mean, you're the one who doesn't want my brother to come, so-
Leonard: So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
Penny: Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: What's going on with your brother?
Penny: My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work.
Leonard: Huh. Is that a good idea? I mean, you think they'll consider someone who was in prison for selling drugs?
Penny: Well, I sell pharmaceuticals. That's just a really hard to spell word for drugs.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Now, when the robots rise up, they'll know that I've been rooting for them the whole time.

Quote from Leonard

Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Well, everybody has things that they need help with. Like me. I can't see without my glasses. And right now you're just a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge.

Quote from Raj

Lucy: Can I just say something? Going out with Raj was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Raj: Yes, I'll take you back.
Lucy: It's like I needed to go through that experience to know what exactly I don't want in a man.
Raj: That's hard to hear, but I'll still take you back.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Of course you're fine. Not every member of a species finds a mate. Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin. Look at the contributions he made.
Raj: I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Wha- So now you think you're better than Isaac Newton?

Quote from Raj

Leonard: What's going on with that woman you're dating?
Raj: I broke up with her.
Leonard: Why?
Raj: She said she didn't want to see me any more and I found that insulting.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Maybe I'll just play the field.
Howard: Yeah, the field was just here. The field said no.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What are the reasons women reject Raj?
Raj: Can we not play this game?
Sheldon: Doesn't like games. That's one.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: You're not being very nice.
Sheldon: What? He said he was fine.
Howard: Sometimes people say things they don't mean.
Sheldon: Well, that's a paradox. If you meant what you just said, then that means you may not have meant what you just said.
Leonard: Careful, I saw this on Star Trek. Smoke's gonna come out of his ears soon.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Hey, boys. How's it going?
Sheldon: Well, I thought we were having a nice conversation, but it turns out, I was being offensive.
Bernadette: So, normal.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You have no idea what it's like to struggle with recognizing emotional cues.
Amy: I'm sure it's extremely frustrating.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: And also a little sad.
Sheldon: Okay, now you're just showing off.

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: It's supposed to be accurate, like, 85% of the time.
Penny: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
Leonard: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
Penny: I take it back. I believe it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: A machine that reads emotions is intriguing. It could help me be a more considerate friend.
Bernadette: Wouldn't that be nice.
Sheldon: It could also help me identify my enemies, discover their fears and then I could use those fears to destroy them.
Bernadette: I like the first one.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Now that Sheldon's across the hall, have you decided what you're doing with his old room?
Leonard: I was thinking maybe a library or a gaming room.
Sheldon: You could make it a train room.
Leonard: I don't like trains. You like trains.
Sheldon: I know, and Amy says I can't have a train room.

Quote from Howard

Amy: Now, I'm gonna look at some pictures to prompt an emotional response, and we'll see if the machine can identify them accurately.
Howard: Okay, remember, it can only detect happy, sad, angry and excited. Not other things you're feeling, like, "What have I done with my life?"

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What does it say I'm feeling?
Sheldon: Sad.
Amy: Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.
Sheldon: Oh, that makes sense, 'cause she's gone and you miss her.
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future. What, now, see, now it says you're mad. Make up your mind.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Is that Emily your ex-girlfriend?
Raj: Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together in order to discuss why they broke up with me and how I can be a better boyfriend.
Howard: Oh, God. You went through with that? What is wrong with you?
Raj: We are going to find out.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: You're not gonna get information, you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings.
Raj: Don't worry, I'm a grown man. I have a thick skin.
Howard: (chuckles) You're so stupid.
Raj: Hey!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What's that? Are you working on your resume?
Penny: No, it's my brother's. I'm trying to help him get a job out here.
Sheldon: Oh, ooh! And that makes Leonard angry.
Leonard: No, it doesn't.
Sheldon: What? Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it. It's this red frowny guy on my phone.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I don't see the big deal if my brother comes and stays for a while.
Leonard: If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
Penny: He would get his own place.
Leonard: Has he ever had his own place?
Penny: Yes!
Leonard: Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
Penny: It still counts.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Come on, Sheldon, let's go.
Sheldon: Gladly. Can we storm out?
Amy: I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll just give them the finger. (Sheldon gives them a thumbs down)

Quote from Raj

Raj: Uh, heads up, both of you are named Emily, so we'll call you "red-headed Emily" and you, "red-headed Emily, Junior."

Raj: Okay, uh, let's get things started. Um, why don't we go around the room, say your name, and why you broke up with me. Want to kick it off?
Lucy: Oh, okay. Um, I'm Lucy, and I broke up with Raj because I have severe social anxiety, and he kept trying to force me into uncomfortable situations.
Howard: Like this one?
Lucy: Yeah.

Quote from Howard

Raj: I did do that. I can be insensitive to other people's boundaries. Howard, would you write that down?
Howard: "Schmuck." Got it.

Quote from Raj

Claire: Um I'm Claire. And I guess I broke up with you because you were just really needy. Also, you were incredibly vain. Like, all the time you spent shaping your eyebrows-
Raj: Okay, new rule. Everybody only gets one.

Quote from Howard

Emily: Ooh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable sharing details about our relationship in front of Howard.
Raj: Oh. He's here to support me, so anything you have to say you can say in front of him.
Emily: Okay. Well, whenever you and I were in bed-
Raj: Howard, get out.
Howard: Not a chance.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not.
Amy: Yes, you are. There have definitely been days when I was sad and you could tell.
Sheldon: Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel. You're kind of a sad sack. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just upset.
Amy: No, see, right there, you knew you hurt my feelings. And I'm proud of you - for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father.

Quote from Raj

Howard: (Interpreting for Emily #1) "I thought you were great, but, oh, my God, you were so dominated by your parents."
Emily #2: Oh, yeah, and that used to drive me nuts. He's kind of a mama's boy.
Claire: Kind of?!
Raj: Whoa, okay! That's enough. (To Howard) Write down "loving son."

Quote from Howard

Emily: You know, the same thing happened to me. After I broke up with Raj, I met Gary, who's just amazing.
Howard: Sorry, is that "Gary" with one R or two?
Raj: Would you stop writing?!

Quote from Howard

Raj: Okay, maybe we should just end this.
Howard: Wait, hang on. I just want to point out to everyone here, this is a man who is going to great lengths to better himself. Even at the risk of being humiliated. And I, for one, think that's very brave.
Raj: Thank you, Howard.
Emily: Honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't wind up together.
Howard: Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him to find Bernadette.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: We owe you an apology.
Sheldon: Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase, I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.
Leonard: That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, I thought we were going in order.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Look, we got really angry at each other, and you just got caught in the middle of it.
Leonard: And sorry about the suitcase.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, you should be. Your socks were still in it. I had to throw it away.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I'll make you a deal. Thirty years from now, if you're still single and things don't work out with me and Bernadette you and I can give it a go.
Raj: I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two, I'm swooping in on her like a vulture.
Howard: Too late. Stuart called dibs.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.
Amy: It's true. Pregnancy causes physiological changes in the brain that result in increased empathy.
Penny: Huh. So all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up.
Leonard: We can't. He was already fixed when I found him at the shelter.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You know, how is this any different from you making me live with Sheldon?
Sheldon: Hey! I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
Penny: You gave me a bill at the end of every month.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: We were discussing Raj's recent breakup and apparently, I was insensitive to him.
Raj: It's okay, I'm fine.
Sheldon: You d- Don't fall for it. He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin, and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Wonderful. Although I'm not sure how I feel about being used as a guinea pig.
Leonard: Well, when you get the machine, you can find out.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Hey, great news. The TV I want will fit in the gaming room, and if I leave the curtains open, I can watch it from work.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.
Sheldon: You are happy?
Amy: Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
Sheldon: Aw. Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth, but all right.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I'm not saying you have to ask my permission, but you could have talked to me about it before you said it was okay.
Penny: Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
Leonard: Our gaming room! I was gonna put a scented candle in it.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Stay out of this. You and your stupid machine started this fight!
Sheldon: (gasps) You are lucky that this feelings machine doesn't have feelings.

Quote from Howard

Raj: So did all of you go on to better relationships after me?
Lucy: Oh, yeah.
Emily: Without question.
Claire: Little before, actually.
Howard: (Interpreting for Emily) Oh, wow. Don't let him get away.
Raj: Wait. What did she say?
Howard: Uh, basically, she traded you for Bruce Wayne.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Uh, guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again.
Leonard: That's because we are.
Sheldon: Yes! I don't need an emotion machine! I am one!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Well, if you want to march in a fishnet crop top, you better lay off that dip.
Howard: If you didn't want me to eat it, why'd you put it out?
Raj: It was for the girls. They broke up with me. I don't care if they get fat.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband?
Raj: Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay? I would never marry you.
Howard: Please. When you see the ring I pick out, you're gonna melt.
Raj: Yeah, right. Wait, is it rose gold? Actually, don't tell me. I want to be surprised.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
Sheldon: I did. You know, I'm not even sure how accurate it was. I took it to the train store, it said everyone was sad.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hey, uh, Bernadette, let's test this theory. What do you think I'm feeling right now?
Bernadette: Let's see. You're better than us, a little bit sorry for us, but mostly glad you don't have to be us.
Sheldon: (To Howard) Keep filling this one with babies. She's good.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: Well, I would prefer if people told me exactly what is on their mind.
Penny: No. No, you don't, you really don't. I actually can't say "don't" enough.

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