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Quotes from ‘The Escape Hatch Identification’

The Escape Hatch Identification

'The Escape Hatch Identification' - Season 10, Episode 18

When Raj can no longer afford his apartment after cutting himself off from his father's money, Leonard and Penny offer up Sheldon's old room. After Sheldon struggles to let go of his old room, he offends Raj†and causes trouble in Leonard and Penny's relationship.

Air Date: March 9, 2017.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Well, I think it's very nice that you're helping out our friend.
Leonard: I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication Amy's clearly giving you.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: What's so funny?
Howard: Raj is looking for a cheap place to live, and I wrote "India."
Bernadette: Don't post that; be supportive.
Howard: Maybe you should be supportive of my hilarious jokes.

Quote from Amy

Amy: There are a lot of memories wrapped up in that room. For me, too. The first time you told me you loved me was in that room.
Sheldon: Wrong. We were standing outside my room in the hallway.
Amy: And there is the love of which I speak.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter

Amy: This isn't about me and Sheldon. This is about Rajesh moving in with Leonard and Penny.
Beverly Hofstadter: Interesting. They've found a need to take yet another roommate. Seems they're avoiding some harsh realities themselves.
Sheldon: I had no idea all our relationships were such a disaster. Boy, you're good.
Beverly Hofstadter: That is the word on the street, dear.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: And if my heart stops, just let me go.

Quote from Howard

Raj: I'm sorry, guys. Sheldon was upset, Leonard and Penny were fighting. I just wanted to go someplace where I wasn't causing problems.
Howard: (sighs) I'll say it again. India.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: What if she's correct? Doesn't that say something troubling about us?
Amy: I don't know. I just think you're the kind of person who likes a contingency plan.
Sheldon: That is true. Did you know I figured out in which order I would eat all my friends in the event of an apocalypse?
Amy: You need to stop hanging out with your brain so much. It's not a good influence.

Quote from Sheldon

(Leonard standing outside the door to Sheldon and Amy's apartment)
Leonard: Help! Cinnamon's loose in the building!
Sheldon: (Inside) Amy, quick, lock the door!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I spoke with Leonard's mother, and she made me feel better.
Leonard: I don't know who you talked to, but that wasn't my mother.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter

Beverly Hofstadter: Now You've recently moved in with Dr. Fowler, yes?
Sheldon: I have.
Beverly Hofstadter: Clearly, your old room represents an escape hatch, and without it, you're forced to confront the terrifying reality of being trapped in a relationship with Amy forever.
Sheldon: I hadn't thought about that.
Amy: And don't start thinking about it now!
Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Amy. Your defensiveness may indicate similar insecurities about your relationship with Sheldon.
Amy: That's not true!
Beverly Hofstadter: She said defensively.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hey, Raj, I owe you an apology. Look, could you please put your dog on a leash?
Raj: Sheldon, she's fine.
Sheldon: Well, then at least hold her still so I can pretend she's stuffed.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, and FYI, if you cry while they're fighting they'll take you to McDonald's.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Beverly believes I unconsciously consider my old room an escape hatch.
Amy: Is that bothering you?
Sheldon: Yes. I don't care for unconscious thoughts. My brain and I are best friends. It should tell me everything.
Amy: I mean, how it relates to our relationship, not the bromance between you and your brain.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Well, it's like that science thing. For every action, you have a gigantic and annoying reaction.
Leonard: Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: No. He can't afford his apartment, and he's asking if anyone knows of a cheap place to live. I want to say "India," but it seems mean.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: Fine, what should we do?
Bernadette: We're smart. I'm sure we can think of something.
Howard: You want to let him live here?
Bernadette: Oh, we're smarter than that.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, uh, so we've been talking, and if you need a place to stay, we'd be happy to fix up the garage for you.
Raj: That would be amazing! I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in.
Howard: I know it's not ideal, but you'd have plenty of space for your furniture, and there's this cool button that makes an entire wall go up and down.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Speaking of occupants, I'm given to understand Raj will be moving into my old room.
Leonard: Yeah, for a little while.
Sheldon: What about his dog?
Penny: She'll be in her crate; it's not a big deal.
Sheldon: I suppose that's acceptable.
Amy: Well, Sheldon's getting a little better with dogs. He even took a picture with Pluto at Disneyland.
Sheldon: If real dogs gave me buttons, I'd like them, too.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: If you're implying that I'd have some problem with him moving into my room, you're wrong. Raj is in a difficult financial situation, and I'm glad that he's making changes to improve it.
Leonard: (To Amy) Do not adjust the dosage. You nailed it.

Quote from Bernadette

Raj: Can I get anyone anything at all?
Penny: Raj, you don't have to serve us.
Raj: It's the least I can do for helping me carry my stuff up.
Howard: It was really no problem.
Bernadette: Not for you, box of towels.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Thank you, Sheldon. It's a blank notebook.
Sheldon: I had some of my best ideas in that room, and I'm sure you will, too.
Howard: He also never had sex in that room. That's something else to look forward to.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter

Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Sheldon. What a pleasant surprise. How are you?
Sheldon: Honestly, I've been better. Do you have time? Leonard says you're very busy these days.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, I just say that because he prattles.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter

Beverly Hofstadter: What's going on?
Sheldon: Well, our friend Raj moved into my old room, and it's brought up a lot of negative feelings for me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Mm. Well, what do you think the loss of your room represents?
Sheldon: Beverly, you know I hold you in high esteem. Can we skip the part where you pretend not to know the answer, and get to the part where you tell me the answer?
Beverly Hofstadter: Very well, but, uh, if you don't mind, I'd still like to pause for effect.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Maybe moving in was a bad idea. I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems.
Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything.It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Look, just because we took our friend in does not mean that Penny and I are afraid to be alone.
Penny: Yeah, this is a special circumstance.
Beverly Hofstadter: Sheldon mentioned you tried to get your brother to live with you, as well.
Penny: Yeah, well, a circumstance can happen twice and still be special.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter

Beverly Hofstadter: Do you agree with that?
Leonard: Well, now that you point it out-
Penny: Are you kidding me?
Leonard: We do seem to keep finding roommates.
Penny: Now you're taking her side?
Beverly Hofstadter: Dear, I would never come between you and Leonard. That's for your parade of roommates to do.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: Can I just stay in the garage?
Bernadette: Don't do that. We'll make up the couch for you and figure out something in the morning.
Raj: Thank you.
Stuart: Come on, I'll get you some sheets. Then I'll see if I can beat my high score on the blood pressure machine.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Never should've had all these kids so close together.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: I didn't think this is where my life would be.
Stuart: Me, either. I'm in a bedroom and you're on a couch. I'm actually winning.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: Don't you even feel a little bad sponging off your friends?
Stuart: Hey, look, I went to art college, I tried to make it as a graphic artist, a comic book artist, and you know what I got for my efforts? A visible rib cage. I'm not kidding. You can see my heart beating.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: Well, no offense, but I didn't go to art school. I have a PhD in astrophysics.
Stuart: Oh, great, it'll be easier for you to look up at the stars without a roof over your head.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Did you know Raj moved out last night?
Penny: What? Why?
Leonard: "Leonard and Penny, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I went to stay at Howard's. P.S. Cinnamon's with me, but if you feel like messing with Sheldon, tell him she's loose in the building."

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Should we go bring him back?
Penny: Well, you're the one worried having someone live with us is a sign of problems.
Leonard: Oh, that was just because my mother got in my head. It's like being possessed, but instead of Satan, it's -- Actually, it's the same thing.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: You are not a burden, and we want you to come back and stay with us.
Raj: But I also upset Sheldon, and he's not gonna want to come over if I'm there.
Penny: More reasons for you to stay.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: (coming into the living room) Halley's fine.
Bernadette: You know she's at my parents' house, right?
Stuart: And she's having the time of her life.

Quote from Stuart

Bernadette: Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever.
Stuart: Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Beverly pointed out that I'm experiencing insecurities in my relationship with Amy, in the same way that Leonard and Penny are in their relationship.
Penny: What are you talking about? We're fine.
Sheldon: Yes, you're fine as long as you have a buffer living with you to distract from your marital problems. It used to be me. Now it's Raj and his attack Tribble.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, look at that. You've got a Raj, we've got a Stuart. Maybe we should take them both to the park and let them run around together.
Leonard: I don't know. Yours looks like he has worms.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Aw, man, did you see this post from Raj?
Penny: What? Is it another video of him and his dog Lady-and-the-Tramping some spaghetti?

Quote from Penny

Leonard: We do have Sheldon's old room. If he really needs a place to stay, I guess we should offer it to him.
Penny: You're a good friend.
Leonard: Am I still a good friend if I wait and hope that Howard offers him a place to live first?
Penny: You're an even better husband.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I know if the roles were reversed, he would do it for me.
Bernadette: Where would he stay? We already have Stuart.
Howard: Well, we can make some space in the garage. Maybe put a cot out there, get him a space heater, maybe a hot plate.
Bernadette: That sounds awful.
Howard: Let's hope he thinks so, too.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: For the last time, no Hulk, no Batman, no life-size statues.
Sheldon: Wow. I'm starting to think you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to spruce up the place.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Hey, so, Howard, what's the bathroom situation gonna be?
Howard: Well, there's a sink out there, so that takes care of half your problems.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Why are you asking all these questions?
Raj: Well, to be honest, Leonard's on the other line, and he offered me their spare bedroom.
Howard: Great! Go live there.
Raj: But you made the garage sound so fun.
Howard: I just didn't want you to feel bad about it. Unless Leonard's apartment also has a raccoon that chews its way in on cold nights, go there!

Quote from Amy

Amy: Don't listen to them. What's weird is that Penny almost got a science fact right.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I mean, it's unfair. People just assume I'm going to be upset by Raj moving into my old room.
Amy: But you are, aren't you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm outraged.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Talk to me. Tell me what's going on.
Sheldon: Well, that's been my room since before I met Leonard, and now someone else is going to be living in it. And that someone else is not me. And you know how I feel about people who aren't me.

Quote from Amy

Amy: You ready to go?
Sheldon: All set.
Amy: What's that?
Sheldon: A housewarming gift for Raj.
Amy: Well, a bunch of fake snakes better not spring out of it, 'cause that was a lousy anniversary present.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Before we eat, I have a little "welcome to the building" gift for Raj.
Penny: Wait, is anything gonna jump out-
Amy: No. I already asked.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: This means a lot.
Sheldon: Well, I know this is a difficult time for you. You're losing your apartment, you're in debt, and you just- You must be humiliated.
Amy: Sheldon-
Sheldon: Oh, good grief. She is such a stickler for citing sources. Those were Amy's words.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I know, I know! "Good grief" was originally said by Charlie Brown, geez.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: You're right, I am humiliated. Thanks for pointing it out. You're such a jerk.
Sheldon: Can you believe this guy?
Everybody: Yes!
Sheldon: I thought that was gonna break the other way.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You took my room. You turned my friends against me. I hope you're happy.
Raj: What do I have to be happy about? My life's a wreck.
Sheldon: How come he can say it and I can't?

Quote from Bernadette

Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Why are you saying we have marital problems? We don't have marital problems!
Beverly Hofstadter: I see. You must be yelling at me out of wedded bliss.

Quote from Bernadette

Stuart: (Storming into Howard and Bernadette's room with a baseball bat) Not on my watch!
Bernadette: It's fine. It's just Raj. You can hit him with the bat, but it's fine.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: You know, we're both down on our luck. Maybe you and I should try to get a place together.
Stuart: (chuckles) Okay, listen to me. There is no reason to leave here. This is great. Everyone's nice. It's comfortable. If all goes according to plan, this is my retirement home.
Raj: Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you were more independent?
Stuart: Better than I feel in their steam shower? I don't think so.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Penny would be the entree. Then Leonard's basically a cheese course. And because I love you, you're dessert.
Amy: I want to say "aw," but I'm gonna say "ew."

Quote from Stuart

Raj: No, you see, I'm doing this so I can stop being spoiled and, you know, grow as a person.
Stuart: Good for you. This sandwich has six dollars worth of ham in it.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: (To Raj) If you ever want to change things up, you're always welcome here.
Bernadette: Just not in our bedroom, you dumbass.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hey, what's it like sharing a bathroom with Penny? Is there hair everywhere? Does she use your loofah?
Penny: I don't have a loofah.
Raj: Okay, well, if I move in, you can't use mine.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: I know our apartment's small, but I think we can make room.
Amy: No, Sheldon. We are not getting a life-size Spider-Man statue.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I realize it's irrational, but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced.
Amy: Well, this isn't an easy time for him. He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, he's probably humiliated.
Sheldon: Yes, probably. But until we know for sure, how can I feel better?

Quote from Penny

Penny: So, relax. We're happy to have you.
Raj: Thank you, but how do I know you're not saying that just to be nice?
Penny: Do you actually pay for that haircut?
Raj: That'll do it.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in.

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