Quotes from ‘The Fuzzy Boots Corollary’

The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

'The Fuzzy Boots Corollary' - Season 1, Episode 3

Leonard's hopes of a relationship with Penny are dashed when he sees her kiss another guy, so he decides to ask his colleague Leslie Winkle out.

Air Date: October 8, 2007.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Sheldon, if you were a robot and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you?
Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?
Howard: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you, you did not ask her out.
Leonard: You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.
Sheldon: No! No that was not my point. My point was don't buy a cat.
Leonard: No, but you're right, I should march over there and ask her out.
Sheldon: Oh, goody! We're getting a cat.

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (to Leonard, who has decided to give up on Penny) Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Score 1 for liquor and poor judgement.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay.
Leonard: You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
Sheldon: I'm a rogue knight elf. Don't you people read character descriptions?

Quote from Raj

Raj: Tonight I spice my mead with goblin blood.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration with a neurochemical overlay.
Leslie: Wait, are you asking me out?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Is the sex starting now?
Leonard: I'm having a panic attack.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. Well then, calm down!

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: I am the sword master!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Whoo! I'm all sweaty. Anybody wanna log on to Second Life and go swimming? I just built a virtual pool.
Leonard: No, I can't look at you or your avatar right now.

Quote from Leonard

Wolowitz: So, how'd it go with Leslie?
Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway.

Quote from Leonard

Doug: What's up, bro?
Leonard: Uh, nothing much... Bro!

Quote from Raj

Raj: (Play World of Warcraft) Blowing the gates. Control, shift B.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Alright, just a few more feet, and ... here we are gentlemen, the Gates of Elzebob.
Sheldon: Good lord!
Raj: Oooh.
Leonard: Don't panic, this is what the last 97 hours have been about.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Stay frosty, there's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the Sword of Azeroth.
Leonard: Warriors, unsheathe your weapons, magic wielders raise your wands.
Sheldon: Lock and load.
Howard: Raj, blow up the gates.
Raj: Blowing the gates. Control, shift, B! Oh, my God, so many goblins!

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Don't just stand there. Slash and move, slash and move.
Leonard: Stay in formation.
Howard: Leonard, you've got one on your tail.
Leonard: That's all right. My tails prehensile, I'll swat him off.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Raj, no, it's a trap. They're flanking us!
Raj: Oooh, he's got me.
Howard: Sheldon, he's got Raj. Use your sleep spell. Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon: I've got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the Swordmaster!

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Leonard, look out!
Leonard: Dammit man, we're dying here.
Sheldon: Goodbye, peasants.
Leonard: The bastard teleported.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Sounds like your neighbor's home.
Leonard: Excuse me.
Sheldon: Don't forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose so you'd have an excuse to talk to her.
Leonard: Oh, right. Right, right, right, right.
Howard: Stealing snail mail, very old school, I like it.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I just, I got your mail again, here.
Penny: Thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman.
Leonard: Oh no, that's probably not such a good idea. Civil servants have a documented propensity to, you know, snap.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts.
Raj: What's the matter.
Leonard: No, I'm fine. Penny's fine, the guy she's kissing is really fine and...
Howard: Kissing, what kind of kissing? Cheeks? Lips? Chaste? French?
Leonard: What is wrong with you?
Howard: I'm a romantic.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
Leonard: No, I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her. I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
Howard: Because he looked better than you?
Leonard: Yeah. He was kinda dreamy.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Well, I'm done with Penny. I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed.
Raj: Like who?
Leonard: I don't know. Olivia Geiger?
Sheldon: The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Well, I don't think you have a shot there.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I have noticed that Lesley Winkle recently started shaving her legs. Now, given that winter is coming one can only assume that she is signaling sexual availability.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I don't know, you guys work in the same lab.
Leonard: So?
Howard: There are pitfalls. Trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law I'm ... a bit of a self-taught expert.
Leonard: Look, Howard, if I were to ask Lesley Winkle out it would just be for dinner. I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
Howard: Oh, then you're probably okay.

Quote from Leonard

Leslie Winkle: Hang on. I'm trying to see how long it takes a five hundred kilowatt oxygen iodine laser to heat up my cup o' noodles.
Leonard: Pfff, I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone.

Quote from Leonard

Leslie Winkle: What sort of experiment would you propose?
Leonard: There is a generally accepted pattern in this area, I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie, probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
Leslie Winkle: Interesting. And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the bio-chemical reaction during the goodnight kiss.
Leonard: Heart rate, pheromones, etc, yes.

Quote from Leonard

Leslie Winkle: Well, why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?
Leonard: You mean, kiss you now?
Leslie Winkle: Yes.
Leonard: Can you define the parameters of the kiss?
Leslie Winkle: Closed mouth but romantic. Mint?
Leonard: Thank you. (Takes mint). Shall I count down from three?
Leslie Winkle: No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.

Quote from Leonard

Leslie Winkle: What do you think?
Leonard: You proposed the experiment, I think you should present your findings first.
Leslie Winkle: Fair enough. On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. On the other hand, no arousal.
Leonard: None?
Leslie Winkle: None.
Leonard: Ah. Well, thank you for your time.
Leslie Winkle: Thank you.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Oh, I've seen that look before. This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious Emo songs, and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. I don't know if I can take it.
Raj: You could power down.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: God, that's a good song.
Sheldon: If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you.
Leonard: I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account. There's a feline geneticist in San Diego who has developed the cutest little hypo-allergenic calicos.
Sheldon: Leonard, listen to me.
Leonard: I've been thinking about names. I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzyboots.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Good afternoon, Penny. So, hi, hey. Uh, I was wondering if you had plans for dinner.
Penny: Uh, do you mean dinner tonight?
Leonard: There is an inherent ambiguity in the word dinner. Technically it refers to the largest meal of the day whenever it is consumed, so, to clarify here, by dinner I mean supper.
Penny: Supper?
Leonard: Or dinner. I was thinking six thirty, if you can go, or a different time.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Uh, six thirty's great.
Leonard: Really? Great!
Penny: Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys.
Leonard: Us guys?
Penny: You know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj. Who else's coming?
Leonard: They ... might all be there. Or a subset of them might be there. Uh, algebraically speaking there are too many unknowns. For example Sheldon had Quizznos for lunch, sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't. It's no fault of Quizznos, they have a varied menu.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Great. Did we say a time?
Penny: Six thirty.
Leonard: And that's still good for you?
Penny: It's fine.
Leonard: Cos it's not carved in stone.
Penny: No, six thirtys great.
Leonard: I'll get my chisel.
Penny: Why?
Leonard: To ... carve the ... okay, I'll see you six thirty.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: How do I look?
Sheldon: Could you be more specific?
Leonard: Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?
Sheldon: No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What time is your date?
Leonard: Six thirty.
Sheldon: Perfect, that gives you two hours and fifteen minutes for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate.
Leonard: Is it too much?
Sheldon: Not if you're a rugby team.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: By the way, if it should ever come up, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizznos.
Sheldon: Why would I join you?
Leonard: No reason.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Of course, there's the other possibility that this date kicks off a rather unpleasant six months of the two of you passing awkwardly in the hall until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code.
Leonard: You could have stopped at "it could go well."
Sheldon: If I could've, I would've.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common, "you love pottery? I love pottery!" You know, there's a pause, we both know what's happening. I lean in, we kiss, it's a little tentative at first but then I realise, she's kissing me back, and she's biting my lower lip. You know, she wants me, this thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh God! Oh, my God!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: If I could calm down I wouldn't be having a panic attack, that's why they call it a panic attack.
Sheldon: All right, all right. Well, just sit down. Yes, sit down, now close your eyes.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Just do it.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Now try to increase your alpha-wave activity.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: It's a bio-feedback technique. It's relaxation through brain-wave manipulation. I read a paper about it in the Journal of American Neuroscience. It was a little sparsely sourced but I think the basic science is valid. I probably have it here somewhere.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Oh, who am I kidding? I can't go through with this, you need to call her and cancel.
Sheldon: Me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: What should I tell her?
Leonard: I don't know. Tell her I'm sick.
Sheldon: Okay.
Leonard: Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me, but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future if I want to try this again.
Sheldon: Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy and haven't quite bounced back.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Give me the phone.
Sheldon: But I thought you wanted to cancel?
Leonard: I can't because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you.
Sheldon: Why would she be expecting me?
Leonard: Stop asking me all these questions, I need to take another shower.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: So are the rest of the guys meeting us here?
Leonard: Oh, yeah, no. Turns out that Raj and Howard had to work, and Sheldon had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet.
Penny: Ooh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy.
Leonard: You're kidding. Well, then, that's something we have in common.
Penny: How?
Leonard: We both have people in our lives who ... want to nip intestinal polyps in the bud.

Quote from Penny

Penny: So, what's new in the world of physics?
Leonard: Nothing.
Penny: Really, nothing?
Leonard: Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s. And you can't prove string theory, at best you can say Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency.
Penny: Ah. Well I'm sure things will pick up.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Okay, well, you know, it's just me. I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt, and this thing with Doug would be just rebound sex.
Leonard: Ugh, don't get me started on rebound sex.
Penny: It's just, it's my pattern. I break up, then I find some cute guy, and then it's just thirty six meaningless of ... well, you know.
Leonard: I'm not sure that I do. Um, is that one thirty-six hour experience, or is it thirty six hours spread out over say, one ... glorious summer.
Penny: No, it's usually over a weekend, and trust me, you do not feel good after it.
Leonard: Well, chafing, right?
Penny: Emotionally.
Leonard: Of course, yeah, emotional chafing.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Are you sure you don't want to go to the emergency room?
Leonard: No, no, I'm okay, it's stopped bleeding.
Penny: I know, but you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
Leonard: Yes, but I get car sick too, so...
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: Sorry about your car, by the way.
Penny: Oh, no, it's fine, you got most of it out the window.
Leonard: The poor guy on the bike.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Was this supposed to be a date?
Leonard: This? No. No, of course not, this was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up, because of work and a colonoscopy.
Penny: Okay, I was just checking.
Leonard: When I take a girl out on a date, and I do, she knows shes been dated. Capital D. Bold face, underline, like Day-ted.
I think I might have a little concussion, I'm going to go lay down for a while. Good night.

Submit Quotes