Quotes from ‘The Luminous Fish Effect’

The Luminous Fish Effect

'The Luminous Fish Effect' - Season 1, Episode 4

When Sheldon is fired, his life descends into a series of bizarre obsessions, including "fixing" eggs and weaving ponchos. A concerned Leonard decides there's only one person who can bring Sheldon back from the brink: his mother.

Air Date: October 15, 2007.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary: He gets his temper from his daddy.
Leonard: Ah!
Mary: He's got my eyes.
Leonard: I see!
Mary: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: I'm sorry, did I start that sentence with the words, "If it pleases your highness?"

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Dr. Gablehouser, are you busy?
Dr. Gablehouser: Well, actually.
Mary Cooper: Sheldon, he's just doodlin'. Get in here.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!

Quote from Sheldon

Mary Cooper: Honey, why did you get a loom?
Sheldon: Well, I was working with luminous fish and I thought, hey, loom.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I always say that when one door closes, another one opens.
Sheldon: No it doesn't. Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved. Or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door.
Penny: Never mind.

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: Whaddup science bitches?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Howard brought a date?
Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: The thing about tomatoes, I think you will really enjoy this, is that they are shelved with the vegetables but they are technically a fruit.
Penny: Interesting.
Sheldon: Isn't it!
Penny: No, I mean what you find enjoyable.

Quote from Leonard

Mary Cooper: You know, you two make a cute couple.
Leonard: No, no we're not, we're not a couple, we're single, two singles, like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that are friends.
Mary Cooper: Did I pluck a nerve there?
Howard: Oh yeah.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary Cooper: Sheldon's like a baby deer, you gotta let him come to you.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: You don't hunt, do you?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.
Penny: So you got canned, huh?
Sheldon: Theoretical physicists do not get 'canned'. But yeah.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You can't find a bagel in Mumbai to save your life.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The last department party, Professor Finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes.
Leonard: Yes, I was there.
Sheldon: You know what's interesting about caves, Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Nothing!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh boy.
Penny: What now?
Sheldon: Well, while there's some value to taking multivitamins, the human body can only absorb so much. What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.
Penny: Well, maybe that's what I was going for.
Sheldon: Well, then you would want some manganese.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary: Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Thankfully, He blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: I tell you, I love that boy to death but he has been difficult since he fell outta me at the K-Mart.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Gablehauser: Now that's impossible, you must have had him when you were a teenager.
Mary Cooper: Oh, aren't you sweet. His Father's dead.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Leonard, don't trouble yourself. He's stubborn. He may stay in there 'til the rapture.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Leonard: He sounds like a wise man.
Mary Cooper: Oh, not that wise. He once tried to fight a bobcat for some licorice.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary: I made chicken. I hope it's not one of the animals that you people think is magic.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, I've been thinking about time travel again.
Leonard: Why, did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?
Sheldon: Put it on the back burner.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Aww, you got yourself a loom. How nice.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Mary Cooper: Honey, why'd you get a loom?

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: You know we have an Indian gentleman at the church. Dr. Patel. It's a beautiful story. The Lord spoke to him and moved him to give us all 20% off on Lasek. You know those that needed it.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: You have to take your time with Sheldon. His father, God rest his soul, always used to say to me "Mary, you have to take your time with Sheldon."

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Everybody grab a plate and a pretty place-mat that Shelly wove.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: I remember one summer when he was thirteen, he made a small nuclear reactor in the shed and told everybody he was going to provide free electricity for the whole town. Well, the only problem was he had no - what you call - fissionable materials. Anyway, when he went on the Internets to get some, a man from the government came by and sat him down - real gentle - and told him it's against the law to have yellowcake uranium in a shed.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Now, after a moment of silent meditation, I'm going to end with "In Jesus name". Now you two, don't feel under any obligation to join in. Unless, of course, the Holy Spirit moves you.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Now let's get crackin'. Shower. Shirt. Shoes. And let's shove off.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Penny: This is the best cobbler I've ever had.
Mary Cooper: It was always Sheldon's favorite. You know what the secret ingredient is?
Penny: Love?
Mary Cooper: Lard.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: You know how your daddy used to say that you could only fish for so long before you gotta throw a stick of dynamite in the water?

Quote from Mary Cooper

Penny: Well what happened?
Mary Cooper: The poor boy had a fit. Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.
Leonard: A death ray?
Mary Cooper: Well, that's what he called it. It didn't even slow down the neighbor kids. It pissed our dog off to no end.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Good morning, snickerdoodle. Well that looks awful fancy, what is that?
Sheldon: It's my idea of what DNA would look like in a silicon-based life-form.
Mary Cooper: But intelligently designed by a creator, right?

Quote from Mary Cooper

Howard: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his charming good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.

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