Quotes from ‘The Dumpling Paradox’

The Dumpling Paradox

'The Dumpling Paradox' - Season 1, Episode 7

Penny's promiscuous friend from Nebraska is in town and Wolowitz quickly seduces her, taking over Penny's apartment in the process. Penny takes refuge on Sheldon and Leonard's couch. With Wolowitz otherwise engaged, the guys enlist Penny as the fourth member of their Halo team.

Air Date: November 5, 2007.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Well, the only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half.
Raj: Oh, sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Wait. Wait, Sheldon come back, you forgot something.
Sheldon: What?
Penny: This plasma grenade. Ha look, it's raining you!

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Wow Penny, you're on fire!
Penny:Yeah, so is Sheldon!

Quote from Howard

Penny: She'll have sex with anyone as long as they keep buying her things.
Howard: Really?
Penny: Yeah!
Howard: Yay! If you'll excuse me, I have some bar mitzvah bonds to cash.

Quote from Howard

Howard: By the way, where did you get that loofah mitt? Yours reaches places that mine just won't.
Penny: You used my loofah?
Howard: More precisely, we used your loofah. I exfoliated her brains out!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey, guys! My friends and I got tired of dancing so we came over to have sex with you.
(The guys continue to play Halo).
Penny: Told ya.
(Penny and her friends leave).
Sheldon: Why did you hit pause?
Leonard: I thought I heard something.
Rajesh: What?
Leonard: No, never mind.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz: That's right. Go back to Bablyon, you whore!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine!

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Anything else?
Sheldon: Yes. If you use my toothbrush, I will jump out that window. Please don't come to my funeral. Have a good night.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: One-on-one? We don't play one-on-one. We play teams, not one-on-one. One-on-one!

Quote from Sheldon

Chen: Hi, fellas. Oh, where's your annoying little friend who thinks he speaks Mandarin?
Sheldon: He's putting his needs ahead of the collective good. Where he comes from, that's punishable by death.
Chen: I come from Sacramento.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it's more like Doctor Why Bother.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Ugh, I cannot believe Christy let Howard into my apartment.
Sheldon: And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes. But on a more serious note, it's 8:13 and we're still not playing "Halo".

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. This is a notion, and a rather sucky one.

Quote from Howard

Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you'll have good luck.
Penny: No, you won't.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Whoever's her partner will be hamstrung by her lack of experience, not to mention-
Penny: Ha-ha! There goes your head again.
Sheldon: Okay, it's not good sportsmanship to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned. You need to give them a chance to-
Now, come on!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this skilled at a videogame.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Not only are there thousands of people starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here!

Quote from Penny

Penny: I grew up on a farm. From what I heard, they're either having sex or Howard's caught in a milking machine.

Quote from Sheldon

Christy: Mmm! There's my little engine that could.
*Howard makes train noise*
Sheldon: There's one beloved children's book I'll never read again.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yeah, I apologize for my earlier outburst! Who needs Halo when we can be regaled delightfully with the folksy tale of the "whore of Omaha"?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: If we're all through playing "Mock the Flawed Technology", can we get on with Halo Night? We were supposed to start at 8, it is now 8:06.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: You know, Penny, we make such a good team, maybe we could enter a couple of Halo tournaments sometime.
Penny: Or we could just have a life.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

Quote from Howard

Howard: When they perfect human cloning, I'm gonna order 12 of those.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: OK, I have a problem!
Sheldon: It's called carpal tunnel syndrome, and quite frankly, you deserve it.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: If you don't like this Christy, why are you letting her stay?
Penny: Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I don't think she's a whore.
Penny: Oh no, she's definitely a whore. She has no standards. ... Wait, where's Howard?
*Off screen:*
Wolowitz: Bonjour, mademoiselle. I understand you're new in town.
Sheldon: Oh, good God!

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