The Big Bang Theory - The Pancake Batter Anomaly Quotes

*Leonard, Howard & Raj are avoiding hypochondriac Sheldon at the cinema & Penny calls Leonard.*

Leonard (to Howard & Raj): Sheldon is at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard (to Penny): Just tell him to go home.
Penny: Well, he won't leave. He says he's afraid he'll pass out on the bus and someone will harvest his organs.
Leonard (to Howard & Raj): He is paranoid and he has established a nest.

Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "Möchtest du eine Darmspülung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, 'Would you like an enema?'

*Playing 3D chess*
Sheldon: Checkmate.
Leonard: Oh, again?
Sheldon: Obviously, you're not suited for three dimensional chess. Perhaps three dimensional Candy Land would be more your speed.
Leonard: Just reset the board!
Sheldon: It must be humbling to suck on so many levels.

Sheldon: Wait, put this in the bathroom.
Leonard: What for?
Sheldon: I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
Leonard: I mix pancake batter in this!
Sheldon: No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
Leonard: You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment, including the label maker, but you didn't have ten seconds to make a label that said %u201Curine cup%u201D?
Sheldon: It's right here on the bottom.
Leonard: Huh, I guess I owe the Betty Crocker Company a letter of apology.

Howard's mom (HM): Howard it's the phone!
Howard: I know it's the phone ma' I HEAR THE PHONE!
HM: Who is calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know!
HM: Well ask them why are they calling at this ungodly houer!
Howard: HOW CAN I ASK THEM WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!?. *on the phone* Hello?

Raj: How about Lasik?
Leonard: You want me to get eye surgery?
Raj: Would you rather go back to the apartment and deal with Sheldon or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam?
Howard: Well?
Leonard:I'm thinking