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Quotes from ‘The Peanut Reaction’

The Peanut Reaction

The Peanut Reaction
Season 1, Episode 16 - Aired May 12, 2008

When Penny finds out that Leonard has never celebrated his birthday, she sets out to throw him a surprise party. However, a quick trip to an electronics store with Sheldon for a birthday present takes longer than she expected, forcing Howard to take drastic action to stall Leonard.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Penny: What?
Howard: Just do it!
Penny: It's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon: Oh, fair enough.
Howard: He came with a manual.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

Quote from Sheldon

Store Clerk: Excuse me, Sir, you don't work here.
Sheldon: Yes, well apparently neither does anyone else.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Okay, I get it. I know how the world works. How about if I were to introduce you to the man who freed your people.
Nurse: Unless my people were freed by Benjamin Franklin and his five twin brothers, you are wasting your time.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
Howard: Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem. I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's 2 tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Howard: Thy will be done.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Penny, if I'm going to get Leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did.
Penny: I know I'm gonna regret this, but what trauma?
Sheldon: On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes.
Penny: Of course, yeah.
Sheldon: Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me-- Wow, this is hard. They got me a motorized dirt bike.
Penny: No!
Sheldon: What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
Penny: All of them.

Quote from Penny

Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Howard: (to Leonard) Go ahead. Tell her about your senior prom.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Ok, here's the deal. You either help me throw Leonard a birthday party or, so help me God, I will go into your bedroom and I will unbag all of your most valuable mint condition comic books. And on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face.
Sheldon: You can't do that. If you make a mark on a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: 1234 is not a secure password.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hello, Penny! Leonard just left.
Penny: I know. I wanna talk to you.
Sheldon: What would we talk about? We have no overlapping areas of interest, as I'm aware of. And you know I don't care for chit-chat.
Penny: Can you just let me in?
Sheldon: Well, OK but I don't see this as a promising endeavor.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Howard, every Thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts. When they see me coming they say, "Ah! No peanut boy!"

Quote from Althea

Howard: Excuse me.
Althea: Fill this out, have a seat.
Howard: No, listen. See, we're throwing my friend a surprise party and I'm supposed to keep him out of his apartment for two hours.
Althea: Uh-huh. Fill this out and have a seat.
Howard: No, the only way I could get him to leave is to tell him I ate a peanut. Because I'm allergic to peanuts.
Althea: Oh, well in that case fill this out and have a seat.
Howard: Look, all I need from you is to take me in the back and give me a band-aid so I can pretend I had a shot of epinephrine and then you tell my friend you need to keep me under observation for about an hour, hour and a half.
Althea: Is that all you need?
Howard: Yes.
Althea: Get out of my ER.
Howard: No, you don't understand.
Althea: Oh, I understand, but unfortunately this hospital is not equipped to treat stupid.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: My parents focused on celebrating achievements and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something.
Leonard: It's called trestling.
Howard: It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of tetris into the ultimate sport.
Penny: Yeah, that's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you was to cut it the hell out.

Quote from Sheldon

Shopper: Which hard drive do I want? Firewire or USB?
Sheldon: It depends on what Bus you have.
Shopper: I drive a Chevy Cavalier.
Sheldon: Oh my God.

Quote from Sheldon

Shopper: Excuse me, do you know anything about this stuff?
Sheldon: I know everything about this stuff.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: We might as well stop. It's a stalemate. You're beating me at tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler Elf.

Quote from Althea

Howard: Okay, I get it, I know how the world works. How about if I were to introduce you to the man who freed your people? (laying down a $5 bill)
Althea: Unless my people were freed by Benjamin Franklin and his 5 twin brothers, you are wasting your time.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense. Let's say that I go out and I spend 50 dollars on you. It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need. Now I could simplify things, just give you the 50 dollars directly and then you could give me 50 dollars on my birthday and so on, until one of us dies leaving the other one old and 50 dollars richer. And I ask you is, it worth it?

Quote from Howard

Howard: (Talking to his private parts) I'm doing this for you, Little Buddy. (Eats the Granola bar)

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I want to talk to you.
Sheldon: What would we talk about? We've no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of,. and you know I don't care for chit-chat.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Here you go, Copenhagen boy, how about a taste of Hans Christian Hand Grenade.

Quote from Althea

Leonard: Excuse me, my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
Althea: No, he's not.
Leonard: Yes he is.
Althea: Look, sir, we are very busy here and I just don't ... (Sees Howard's heavily swollen face) holy crap!

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: It's actually based on a very sound thesis. His mother published a paper on it.
Penny: What was it called? "I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"?

Quote from Howard

Penny: He just doesn't know he wants one because he's never had one.
Howard: I suppose that's possible, but for the record, I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Look, I am in the Halo battle of my life here. There's this kid in Copenhagen. He has no immune system so all he does is sit in his bubble and play Halo 24/7.
Howard: Can't you play him some other time?
Leonard: Not if you believe his doctors.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country, but when they're afraid of lawsuits they sure test everything.
Howard: I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary.

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