Leonard: You could be Batman?
Sheldon: Yeah. I'm Batman See?
Leonard: What secret?
Sheldon: Mother Smokes in the car, Jesus is fine with it but don't tell Dad...SSHHH!...
Howard: How's the air matress?
Sheldon: It's ok, if you don't mind sleeping on a bouncy castle.
Leonard: What happened to him?
Howard: He wouldn't sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handfull of my mother's Valium in it. TAG YOU'RE IT!
Sheldon: And you thought the opposite of stupid loser was a Community College Graduate?
Sheldon: I drank milk that tasted funny.
Wolowitz: Qu'est-ce que 'sup?
Sheldon: I'm Batman.
Wolowitz: Leonard, how was your date?
Leonard: Bite me!
Sheldon: When I try to deceive I have more nervous ticks than a lime disease research facility.
(Penny stares at Sheldon)
Sheldon: It's a joke, it relies on a homonymic relationship between the tick the blood sucking arachnid, and tick the involuntary muscular contraction. I made it up myself.
Penny: So, do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating, Leonard would get bored with me?
Sheldon: That depends.
Penny: On what?
Sheldon: Do you have a working knowledge on Quantum Physics?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you speak Klingon?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you know any card tricks?
Sheldon: Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock.
Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me!?
Sheldon: They were very smart! They used my complete lack of interest in what you are doing.
Penny: Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn't go so far as to forbid it.
Sheldon: I promised Penny.
Leonard: Promised Penny what?
Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. (pause) Shhhhh!!!!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'M BATMAN!!!! SHHHH!!!
Sheldon: When I try to decieve, I myself have more ticks then a lyme-disease research facility.
