Quotes from ‘The Codpiece Topology’

The Codpiece Topology

'The Codpiece Topology' - Season 2, Episode 2

After Leonard sees Penny with a handsome new mate, he starts up a relationship with Leslie Winkle. Meanwhile, Sheldon is unhappy with the presence of his mortal enemy in his apartment.

Air Date: September 29, 2008.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh Mario, if only I could control everyone the way I control you. Hop, you little plumber. Hop, hop hop!

Quote from Howard

Howard: Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy, they're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say "Howdy".
Sheldon: Bosoms would not have said "Howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would've said "Huzzah".
Howard: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon, I just want to be part of the conversation.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Well why don't you go to the movies then?
Sheldon: Because who would be there to perform the Heimlich maneuver if I choke on my popcorn?
Penny: So, don't buy popcorn.
Sheldon: No popcorn at the mo - listen to yourself!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Looks like you've been to the Renaissance Fair ... I'm hoping.
Sheldon: Renaissance Fair? More of a medieval-slash-Age of Enlightment-slash-any-excuse-to-wear-a-codpiece fair.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I would appreciate it if you would, you know, make yourself scarce.
Sheldon: Leonard, I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurately measured by normal tests, how much scarcer could I be?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy, you must know-
Sheldon: Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Bring out the Red Bull, it's time to rock Mario old school!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Sheldon. Don't make that noise, it's disrespectful.
Sheldon: I should hope so. It was a snort of derision.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Worst Renaissance Fair ever!
Leonard: Please let it go, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It was rife with historical inaccuracies, for example, the tavern girl, serving flagons of mead, now her costume was obviously Germanic, but in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws, or Reinheitgebot, severely limited the availability of mead. At best, they would've had some spiced wine.
Leonard: You're nitpicking!
Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, here's another nit for you, the flagons would not have been made of polypropylene.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Look on the bright side.
Leonard: What's the bright side?
Sheldon: Only 9 more months to Comic-Con.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Go get yourself some rebound stress release.
Raj: Technically, it would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
Howard: You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
Raj: I bought him dinner and we kissed once. That was it. And he told me his name was Kimberly.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle.
Sheldon: Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word plenty has been redefined to mean two.

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leslie: Anyway, I just figure it's time to slow things down and who better to slow things down with than you?
Leonard: Oh, I'm flattered. So, how do you suggest we proceed?
Leslie: Your place, we'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie, artsy but accessible, then light petting, no coitus.
Leonard: Sounds fun.
Leslie: I'll leave the details up to you, I think it's better if you assume the male role.
Leonard: Thank you, that's very thoughtful.
Leslie: Great. Call me!

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: (Talking about Leslie Winkle) I think she's smoking hot.
Howard: I'd hit that!
Sheldon: You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension. (Seeing Howard's confusion) Mud.

Quote from Raj

Raj: What happens in costume at comic-con stays at comic-com.
Howard: You're only saying that because of what happened to you.
Leonard: What happened to you?
Raj: Nothing happened to me.
Howard: It wasn't your fault, Raj, he was dressed like a green Orion slave girl.
Raj: How did we get on me, we were mocking Leonard for not moving on, dude, you have totally not moved on.

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leslie: Hey, dummy.
Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.
Leslie: Ooh, rush me to the burn unit.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
Leonard: You went out and bought linen?
Sheldon: Don't be silly, I borrowed one of your pillow cases.
Leonard: Borrowed?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That was not fifteenth century soap. My God, these people need to learn you can't just put "ye olde" in front of anything and expect to get away with it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Friday's always vintage game night. Look, my mom included the memory card. We can pick up where I left off in 1999 when I had pernicious anaemia.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Of all the overrated physicists in all the labs in all the world, why does it have to be Leslie Winkle?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leslie: Wow. So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
Leonard: Where did you hear that?
Leslie: Actually I read it. Wolowitz texted me.
Leonard: (Reading the text) "Like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory." Yep.
Leslie: I thought it was a pretty good one, I gave him an L-O-L.

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leslie: Oh. So, how many children do you think we should have?
(Leonard splutters)
I'm sorry, that was a little abrupt.
Leonard: A little.
Leslie: I mean there are so many things to talk about before we discuss reproduction.
Leonard: I sure hope so.
Leslie: Besides shortness, what genetic weaknesses run in your family?

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leonard: Well, I think tonight was a very good start.
Leslie: Me too. You're sure you're okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test?
Leonard: No problem, I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse. So I guess I'll call you and we'll arrange another evening.
Leslie: Yes. I believe protocol dictates that you wait a minimum of 18 hours before you call so I'm not repulsed by your cloying eagerness.
Leonard: Sure.
Leslie: Again, it's your decision, you're the man.

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leslie: Hey fellow scientists. Sheldon.

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leslie: You agree with me, right, loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.
Leonard: Sorry Leslie, I guess I prefer my space stringy not loopy.
Leslie: Well, I'm glad I found out the truth about you before this went any further.
Leonard: Truth, what truth? We're talking about untested hypotheses, uh, it's no big deal.
Leslie: Oh, it isn't, really? Tell me Leonard, how would we raise the children?

Quote from Leslie Winkle

Leonard: I guess we let them wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own theory.
Leslie: We can't let them choose, Leonard, they're children!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The only way she'd be able to make a contribution to science is if they resume sending chimps into space.

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