Quotes from ‘The Griffin Equivalency’

The Griffin Equivalency

'The Griffin Equivalency' - Season 2, Episode 4

When Raj is featured in People's "30 under 30 to watch", the news goes to his head and makes him obnoxious to his friends.

Air Date: October 13, 2008.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Sheldon, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're insane.
Leonard: That may well be, but the fact is it wouldn't kill us to meet some new people.
Sheldon: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman.

Quote from Howard

(Sheldon smiles in a grotesque way).
Howard: Oh crap that's terrifying.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: In Papua New Guinea, there's a tribe when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonsense, of course, but one can see their point.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I often forget other people have limitations. It's so sad.
Howard: He can feel sadness?
Leonard: Not really. It's what you and I would call condescension.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hey, buddy, I'm gonna be in People Magazine.
Charlie Sheen: Yeah, call me when you're on the cover.

Raj: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Dr. Koothrapali.
Leonard: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Dr. Hofstadter.
Sheldon: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Dr. Cooper.
Howard: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Mr. Wolowitz

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: You know, this situation with Koothrappali brings to mind a story from my childhood.
Howard: Oh, goody, more tales from the Panhandle.
Sheldon: That's Northwest Texas. I'm from East Texas, the Gulf region. Home to many Vietnamese shrimpers.
Leonard: Do the shrimpers feature in your story?
Sheldon: No. Anyway, when I was eight, a Montgomery Ward delivery van ran over our family cat, Lucky.
Howard: Lucky?
Sheldon: Yes, Lucky.
Leonard: He's irony-impaired. Just move on.
Howard: Ok, dead cat named Lucky. Continue.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Welcome to the Raj Majal.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: They're going to digitally add a supernova they say its the perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent.
Sheldon: Yes, a giant ball of gas that collapses on itself.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hey! Look I found my missing nutrino.
Howard: Oh, great! We can take it off the milk carton.

Quote from Raj

Raj: So, Saturday night. Can I count on my posse?
Howard: Jeez, I'd love to Raj but I can't make it.
Raj: Ah, okay, Leonard?
Leonard: Oh, ah, oh, I can ... no.
Raj: Sheldon?
Sheldon: I can make it but I won't.

Quote from Raj

Raj: It's not part of my heart-warming and personal narrative, in which a humble boy from New Delhi overcame poverty and prejudice and journeyed to America to reach for the stars.
Howard: Poverty? Your father's a gynaecologist. He drives a Bentley.
Raj: It's a lease.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How will Raj ever reach true greatness if his friends lower the bar for him? When I was eleven, my sister bought our father a "world's greatest dad" coffee mug, and frankly the man coasted until the day he died.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Boy, I bet Ellen Page's friends aren't giving her this kind of crap!

Quote from Raj

Raj: I know, I am resplendent like the noonday sun, am I not?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly, it would be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Excuse me. Thirty what, under thirty what, to watch what?
Raj: Thirty visionaries under thirty years of age to watch as they challenge the preconceptions of their field.
Sheldon: If I had a million guesses, I never would have gotten that.

Quote from Raj

Raj: God bless that boy, I don't know what I'd do without him.
Leonard: You just got him this afternoon.
Raj: Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me.
Leonard: A lackey?
Raj: Oh, I'm sorry, is that politically incorrect? In India we just call them untouchables.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, good news, you don't have to sulk about Penny any more. Look, there are hundreds of Croatian women just waiting for you to contact them.
Leonard: Anythingforagreencard.com?
Howard: I'll lend you my user name, it's wealthybigpenis.
Leonard: You're joking.
Howard: Well, you gotta make it easy for them. They're just learning English.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I wanted a griffin.
Leonard: A griffin.
Sheldon: Yes, half eagle, half lion.
Leonard: And mythological.
Sheldon: Irrelevant. See, I was studying recombinant DNA technology and I was confident I could create one. But my parents were unwilling to secure the necessary eagle eggs and lion semen. Course my sister got swimming lessons when she wanted them.

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