Quotes from ‘The Euclid Alternative’

The Euclid Alternative

'The Euclid Alternative' - Season 2, Episode 5

When the gang grows tired of chauffeuring Sheldon around, they hold an intervention to get him to learn to drive.

Air Date: October 20, 2008.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a drivers license. Albert Einstein never had a drivers license.
Howard:Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.

Quote from Sheldon

DMV Worker: Here's your learner's permit. Go away.
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Don't make me climb over this counter!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you, Sheldon, but not that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm clearly too evolved for driving.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Worker: Does it say "I give a damn?"
Sheldon: No.
DMV Worker: That's because I don't.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: We're gonna have to stop at Pottery Barn on our way to work. I bought these Star Wars sheets, but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Who is going to drive me to work?
Leonard: You're a big boy you'll figure something out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How am I gonna get to work.
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: But I can't take the bus. They don't have seat belts. And they won't let you latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords.
Leonard: You tried to latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords?
Sheldon: I didn't try, I succeeded. For some reason, it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: I was examining perturbutive amplitudes in N=4 supersymeteric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multiloop N=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights and you'd have to make others arrangements?
Sheldon: You did.
Leonard: And?
Sheldon: I didn't.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh God, not Euclid Avenue!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Just because your career's been stagnant for a few years, that's no reason to give up.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: You have to drive me to work.
Penny: Yeah, I really don't think I do.
Sheldon: But I don't drive and I can't take the bus.
Penny: Alright, honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee chord thing.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Penny! (x3)
Penny: Sheldon, what is it?
Sheldon: Leonard's asleep.
Penny: Thanks for the update.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Studies are shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a cell phone or drinking coffee while driving reduces ones reaction time by the same factors as ounce of alcohol.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Maybe if I turn off the nightlight, I can keep the sheets.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (To the cleaning ladies) You saw nothing!

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