Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".

Penny: Here you go, [to Leonard] quesadilla, [to Howard] salad, [to Raj] here's your pizza. And thanks to Sheldon's heated discussion with my manager, one barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side.
Sheldon: Thank you!
Penny: Go ahead. Eat it. I dare you!

Leonard: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain.

Wolowitz (watching America's Next Top Model): Oh, look! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of... what a coincidence... it's the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but-
Leonard: Don't tell her.
Sheldon: We're playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard: Aww!
Howard: What do you mean "Aww?" Like she didn't know we were nerds?

Penny: No Shoes, No Shirt, No Sheldon.
Howard: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena!

Sheldon: Is my hamburger medium-well?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Dill slices not sweet?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Individual relish packets?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Onion rings?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Extra-breading?
Leonard: I asked.
Sheldon: What did they say?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Did you protest?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Vociferously?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well then what took you so long?

Penny: Hey, guys. What'd I miss, what'd I miss?
Howard: Giselle's hanging by a thread.
Penny: Oh, good, I hate her.
Howard: Then you're not invited to our wedding.

Sheldon: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, "Mwah, ha, ha."

Sheldon: Hi, Mom, how are you?But, Mom, she keeps sitting in my spot. And she touched my food. Okay, yes, I took her clothes, but she started it. (throwing a fit) No, that's not fair. Why should I have to apologize? I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with. No, you're right. I don't really know what Jesus thinks about. All right! Goodbye. (hangs up) (to Leonard) Did you tell on me?
Leonard: Are you kidding me? I already have 2 strikes

Sheldon: And then you put it back, compromising the rest of the onion rings.
Penny: Aw honey, the buses don't go where you live do they?

Sheldon: You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes. Earlier this evening, I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. Do those look familiar?

Sheldon: I am very, very sorry for what I have done. Here's your laundry, I rescind your strikes and you are no longer banished.

Penny: This has gotten way out of hand, okay. I've done some stupid things, you've done some stupid things. How about we just call it even, and move on with our lives?
Sheldon: I've done no stupid things.
Penny: Look, you've gotta meet me halfway here.
Sheldon: I am meeting you halfway. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things.

Penny: Get them down!
Sheldon: Apologize.
Penny: Never.
Sheldon: Then you just get a very long stick and play panty pinata!

Penny: What was my first strike?
Sheldon: March 18th, you violated my rule about forwarding email humor.
Penny: I did?
Sheldon: The photo of the cat who wants to "Has Cheeseburger?"
Penny: Oh, come on, everybody loves Lolcats. They're cute and they can't spell because they're cats.
Sheldon: I trusted you with my email address and you betrayed that trust by sending me internet banality. Strike one. Touching my food. Strike two.

Sheldon: *On computer screen* Greetings, hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you heart various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi. If you want to remedy the situation you can contact the phone company, set up your own WiFi and pay for it, or you may apologize to me.

Penny: Look, I said I wanted to hurt him, but this?
Leonard: It will shorten the war by five years and save millions of lives.

Raj: Hold on a second. Kreplach??
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: That isn't Klingon. It's yiddish for meat-filled dumpling!
Howard: Well, as it turns out it's also a Klingon word.
Leonard: Really? Define it.
Howard: Kreplach a hearty Klingon.....dumpling.

Penny: Oh, I didn’t tell you? You’re banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
Sheldon: Why?
Penny: Well, you have three strikes. One, coming in. Two, sitting down. And three, I don’t like your attitude.

Sheldon: (On computer screen) Hello, puny insects, as a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, everyone is awarded one additional strike.
Leonard: Thanks a lot, Howard.
Howard: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.

Penny: I was in junior rodeo. I can hog-tie and castrate him in 60 seconds.

Penny: Where are my clothes?
Sheldon: Your clothes?
Penny: Yes. I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone.
Sheldon: Really? Despite the sign that says: "Do not leave laundry unattended?"

Sheldon: Alright, Klingons, pencils down.

Sheldon: Then I suggest you get them down with a long stick and play panty piata.

Penny: I like hanging out with you guys, but I'm not gonna apologize for something I didn't do.
Leonard: Well, actually, technically, you did do it.
Penny: That's strike one, Leonard.

Sheldon: (Playing Boggle) Oh, worf. Nice. Too bad that's a proper noun.