Quotes from ‘The Vartabedian Conundrum’

The Vartabedian Conundrum

'The Vartabedian Conundrum' - Season 2, Episode 10

When Leonard stumbles onto the realization that Stephanie has moved in with him, he fears their relationship is moving too fast for him and turns to Penny for advice.

Air Date: December 8, 2008.

Quote from Leonard

Stephanie: I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Is it a high frequency whistle?
Leonard: No, it's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Don't you think if a woman was living with me I'd be the first one to know about it?
Penny: Oh, sweetie, you'd be the last one to know about it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
Leonard: Oh good God! Sheldon we don't ask questions like that!
Sheldon: I heard you ask it over and over. How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
Stephanie: He did very nicely.
Sheldon: See? She's not offended. And now you finally have an answer.

Quote from Sheldon

Stephanie: Where did you get the stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff?
Sheldon: My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday. She thought if I failed at theoretical physics that I should have a trade to fall back on.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I've never once been invited to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
Leonard: She doesn't like you.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: No, absolutely not.
Sheldon: It's not a big deal.We have latex gloves.
Leonard: I don't care what the symptoms are. My girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon's computer: We are out of herbal tea. Do you have any?
Penny: Hold on, I'll go check.
Sheldon's computer: Some hiney would be nice.
Penny: Hiney?
Sheldon's computer: Honey.

Leonard: Maybe, it's a lingering bacterial infection from all those childhood toilet swirlies.
Sheldon: Is that possible? I used to get those all the time. Even in church.
Stephanie: Well, you know, if it is from a swirly, there's something I can do, okay. Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you have a cootie shot.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Where's my Bat Signal?
Penny: You have a Bat Signal?
Leonard: I did. It was right here. She must have- Oh, my God, we're living together.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: New pants?
Leonard: Yeah, Stephanie got them for me.
Howard: Nice. Cotton?
Leonard: Actually, I think it's more of a wool-fire ant blend.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Now, to review, the following provisions are hereby activated. In the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf, the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal. Next, apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells. Third, the bathroom schedule. Now, I'm given to understand women have difference needs, so we'll have to discuss that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, there's one more thing. Under Article One, Section Three of our Roommate Agreement, I'm calling an emergency meeting.
Leonard: No, you're not.
Sheldon: Leonard moves the meeting not occur. Is there a second? None heard, the motion fails.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: I gave it a lot of thought and I decided it was time for us to live together.
Howard: Leonard, huge mistake. There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just standing in the corner eating the same devilled egg over and over again.

Quote from Leonard

Stephanie: I just performed a Sheldonectomy.
Leonard: Careful, if you don't get it all, it'll only come back worse.

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