Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.
Sheldon: STOP IT BOTH OF YOU! All this fighting, I might as well be back with my parents!
*Imitating his Mom* Dammit George! I told you if you didn't quit drinking I would leave you!
*Imitating his Dad* Well, I guess that makes you a liar, because I'm drunk as hell and you are still here!
*Imitating his Mom* Stop yelling, you're making Sheldon cry!
*Imitating his Dad* I'll tell you what is making Sheldon cry, that I let you name him SHELDON!
Raj: Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? It's rice!
Sheldon: I should have asked for much more than a comic book and a robot.
Sheldon: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago I told you not to talk to her, and now look. We're going to be late for the movies.
Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like you should've put a ring on it.
Leonard:What am I supposed to say? Sure, Penny, I'm cool with having your old boyfriend sleep in your apartment.
Leonard imitating Penny: Well, Leonard, it does'nt matter if you're cool or not, 'cause I'm penny and I'm pretty and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Sheldon: I want that one.
Sheldon: Where exactly does the half-sandwich come from? Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich, or do I have to wait for someone in the restaurant to order the other half?
