Quotes from ‘The Bozeman Reaction’

The Bozeman Reaction

'The Bozeman Reaction' - Season 3, Episode 13

After their apartment is robbed, Leonard and Sheldon get Howard and Raj to install a complex security system. When Sheldon still doesn't feel safe, he decides to leave Pasadena.

Air Date: January 18, 2010.

Quote from Sheldon

*Sheldon is using a map of the U.S. to find out where he can move*
Sheldon: Penny, you're from Nebraska, right?
Penny: Born and raised.
*Sheldon crosses out Nebraska*

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I do not have to urinate. I am the master of my own bladder. Drat.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It's all right, they didn't take my comic books.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm fine. Although I'm no longer master of my own bladder.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: And look over here, shrimp in mobster sauce. What is mobster sauce?
Leonard: It's obviously a type.
Sheldon: Perhaps. Pehraps this restaurant's now a front for organized crime. For all we know, the mobster sauce contains actual chunks of deceased mobsters.
Raj: No, no, no, no. I think it jut means it's the kind of sauce that mobsters like.
Howard: It doesn't mean any of that. It's a typo!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the mobster sauce couldn't possible contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under sea food.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Would you like me to bring you some warm milk?
Leonard: I'm lactose intolerant.
Sheldon: And you don't wish to alarm me with any more loud noises. Very thoughtful.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Boy, seems like forever since the four of us have been out to eat, you know? Just the guys.
Raj: Oh, God. Yes, we get it. You have a girlfriend now.
Howard: A little jealous, are we?
Raj: No, I'm not jealous. All right, I'd kill a hobo if it'll get me laid. Now, can we order?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: When does the C.S.I. team get here? Policeman: What? Sheldon: In anticipation of their arrival, I've bagged some evidence. One of the thieves had the audacity to quench his thirst while ransacking our home. You should be able to pull some good prints off this. And now, here are my prints so you can rule me out as a suspect. Leonard: What about me? Sheldon: I'm sorry, Leonard. It's too early to discount the possibility of this being an inside job.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Would I be completely out of line to ask for you to shoot him?
Police Officer: I'd be happy to put him under a 72-hour psychiatric hold.
Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I can't believe it. if I hadn't been working the dinner shift, I would've run right into the robbers.
Leonard: Hey, there's no reason for you to be scared.
Penny: I'm not scared. I would've gone all Nebraska on their asses.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: What if someone kidnaps me, forces me to record my voice, and then cuts off my thumb?
Leonard: I'll send them a basket of muffins.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: is he quitting his job at the university?
Leonard: Oh no, he's going to telecommute. Everybody's really excited about it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: In the meantime, please forward my mail.
Leonard: Any place specific or just the Bozeman, Montana Loony Bin?
Sheldon: I sense you're making a joke, but Bozeman does have a comedy club called The Loony Bin, so do not forward my mail there.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm going to be a Bozite.
Leonard: They call themselves Bozites?
Sheldon: They should. It's one of the first thing I plan to bring up upon arrival.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, they re-did the menu.
Leonard: So what? It's the same food.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? Look at this. General Tso's Chicken is no longer listed under specialties. It's now under chicken.
Raj: So?
Sheldon: Yes, General Tso.
Raj: Not Tso the chicken, so the question. So?
Sheldon: So, why is it no longer a specialty? Did the chef lose confidence in the dish or himself?

Quote from Howard

Leonard: You know what? Let's just get a pizza.
Sheldon: Good idea. We'll go to Corleone's.
Howard: Sure, no mobsters there.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the mobster sauce couldn't possibly contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under seafood.
Leonard: What if they were mobsters who slept with the fishes?
Sheldon: Leonard, are we having a serious conversation or not?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (To a policeman) They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard-drives, our PS2, our PS3, our X-Box, our X-Box 360, our classic Nintendo, our Super Nintendo, our Nintendo 64 and our Wii.
Leonard: We like games.
Sheldon: Right, games. They took Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Final Fantasy 1 thru 9, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics and Ms. Pacman.
Policeman: (Writing down) Assorted video games.

Quote from Sheldon

Policeman: We're done here. Call this number, and w'll fax you a copy of the report so you can submit it to your insurance company.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that's the end of your inquiry?
Policeman: Do you have any more information that might be relevant?
Sheldon: Oh, my goodness. Where do I begin? For instance, my laptop contained four out of the five Gedanken experiments necessary for a cogent restatement of the quantum measurement problem.
Leonard: How is that going to help them?
Sheldon: Well, they could monitor scientific publications and see if anyone posts such a cogent restatement in the next couple of months. If so, the authors are most likely in possession of my stolen laptop.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: What are we supposed to do now?
Sheldon: The only thing we can do. Watch TV on our phones until the criminals return and bludgeon us to death in our sleep.
Leonard: Does that mean you've ruled me out as a suspect?
Sheldon: Oh, how I wish I could.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sheldon, do you want to sleep here tonight?
Sheldon: Oh, as small as Leonard is, I don't think the two of youd be comfortable on the couch.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: It's not what I want, it's what evolution wants. Human beings are primates. Primates have evolved to live in groups, both for protection and support.
Leonard: But you don't like other people.
Sheldon: I do tonight. It's scary over there.
Leonard: It's getting scary here, too.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Umm. Three little kittens? Three little pigs? God, I don't know. Star Wars?
Leonard: Did we win? Can we go to bed?
Sheldon: Good Lord, I could not have made this easier. Hydrogen atom, H. Plus, pigs minus pea, Higgs. Bow, General Zod trapped in the Phantom Zone. Bow-zone. Pear. Tickle. Pear-tickle. Higgs Boson Particle. How could you not get that?
Leonard: He's right, Penny. It's all there.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Look, Sheldon, sweetie, I know you're feeling insecure, but we've really got to go to sleep.
Sheldon: All right. I'll take the first watch and wake you at 0400.
Leonard: Great. Good night.
Penny: Wait, wait, what's 0400?
Leonard: 4 am.
Penny: That's, like, in 45 minutes.
Leonard: Just keep walking.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Now, inside, we've got motion detectors, infrared sensors, and cameras connected to a server running state-of-the-art facial recognition software.
Leonard: Where did you get all this stuff?
Howard: I got a buddy over at the Department of Defense.
Leonard: He just gave it to you?
Howard: I'm sure he would have if I had asked. Ironically, their security isn't all that good.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.
Howard: Don't worry, the net's going to be electrified. Picture her on the floor, spasming uncontrollably.
Sheldon: Better.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: God, Sheldon. What the hell are you doing out there?
Sheldon: I heard a noise.
Leonard: It was us. We knocked over a lamp.
Sheldon: Why would you knock over a lamp?
Leonard: We were going to have...
Penny: He doesn't need to know what we were doing, Leonard.
Sheldon: Oh! No, she's right, I don't need to know what you were doing. Carry on.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Don't you think looking for a new city to live in is a bit of an overreaction?
Sheldon: Our apartment was broken into, our security system tried to kill me, and as a result, I'm leaving Pasadena forever. Tell me how that's overreacting.
Penny: Come on, Sheldon, you can't move. Don't you need to stay in one place so the mother ship can find you when it returns?
Sheldon: Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately, as I'm earthbound for the foreseeable future, I need to find a location that's more hospitable than the mean streets of Pasadena.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Like Enid, Oklahoma. Low crime rate and high-speed Internet connectivity, but no model train shops. Sorry, Enid.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, Boone, North Carolina. Every summer since 1952, Boone has hosted an outdoor amphitheater portrayal of the life and times of its namesake, Daníl Boone. Sounds like something that would attract the wrong crowd.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That's part of life. When my great-grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Hey, look who's back!
Sheldon: Interesting. The acquaintance is the first to greet me.

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