Quotes from ‘The Excelsior Acquisition’

The Excelsior Acquisition

'The Excelsior Acquisition' - Season 3, Episode 16

Sheldon and the guys are excited to learn comic book legend Stan Lee will be holding a signing session at the comic book store. However, Sheldon's happiness soon fades when he gets a summons to attend traffic court.

Air Date: March 1, 2010.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Good Morning your honor, Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se - that is to say representing himself.
Judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: Yet you wound up in traffic court.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *Knock Knock Knock* Penny. *Knock Knock Knock* Penny.
Penny: *Opening her door* ... Penny.
Sheldon: That's just wrong.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That's the toilet?
Policeman: Well, it ain't a wishin' well!
Sheldon: Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: While we live in a deterministic universe, you do have free will. Now sit down.

Quote from Howard

*Raj comes in playing Darth Vader's background music from Star Wars*
Leonard: Would you please turn your shirt off?
Raj: What? I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music. People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.
Wolowitz: Right. There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man who's got music blasting from between his nipples.

Quote from Howard

Penny: Did he somehow just give me the finger?
Howard: Not just the finger, the moving finger!

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I will give you the address if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.
Penny: You're extorting a date out of me?
Stuart: I kinda have to. The cousin who's getting married is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I've decided that I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy of this month's Batman.
Howard: That's crazy. Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.
Sheldon: Yes, which is why no one else will ask him to sign one, and I will be the possessor of a unique, albeit confusing, artefact, which will set me apart from the hoi polloi of comic book fandom

Quote from Raj

Howard: Ow. Damn, paper cut. Nothing worse than a paper cut.
Raj: Well, obviously you don't remember your circumcision.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened paychecks in your desk?
Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
Howard: But there must be thousands of dollars here. Why don't you put it in the bank?
Sheldon: I don't trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATMS will lead the charge.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, look, they sent me the ticket. I told them I wasn't driving and they were all, if it wasn't you, who was it?
Sheldon: So you betrayed me?
Penny: No, it wasn't a betrayal. It was more of a can't afford any more points on my license. I already have to buy my insurance from this place in the Cayman Islands.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I can't wait to ask Stan Lee why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names that start with the same letter.
Leonard: Oh, come on, why would you do that?
Raj: Bruce Banner, Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Stephen Strange, Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer, Peter Parker. Oh, and worst of all, J. Jonah Jameson, Jr.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Look at that. To my friend, Leonard, from Stan Lee, Excelsior!
Howard: Awesome. Mine says, "To my friend, Howard, from Stan Lee, Excelsior!"
Raj: Mine says, "To Raj, from Stan Lee."
Howard: That's 'cause you pissed him off about his character names.
Raj: Hey, I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan, or Green Goblin, Matt Murdock, Pepper Potts, Victor von Doom. Oh, and worst of all, Millie the Model.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Invincible Iron Man, Happy Hogan, Curt Connors.
Howard: Would you just let it go?
Raj: And worst of all, Fin Fang Foom.

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