Quotes from ‘The Wheaton Recurrence’

The Wheaton Recurrence

'The Wheaton Recurrence' - Season 3, Episode 19

Sheldon has a second encounter with his mortal enemy Wil Wheaton, this time at a bowling alley. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny's relationship is at risk after a fight.

Air Date: April 12, 2010.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: Hey look, they named their team after me!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I am the ball, my thoughts are its thoughts, its holes are my holes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You did this, didn't you?
Wil Wheaton: Come on, Sheldon, do you really think I'd break up a couple just to win a bowling game?
Sheldon: No, I suppose not.
Wheaton: Good. Keep thinking that.
Sheldon: Wheeeeatoooon!

Quote from Sheldon

*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Tweet that, tweetie bird.

Quote from Sheldon

Wil Wheaton: You ready to bowl?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm ready. I don't know if Stuart told you what you are up against tonight, but before you stands the co-captain of the East Texas Christian Youth Holy Roller Bowling League Championship Team 7-12 year-old division. Also, Penny is pretty good.
Wheaton: Great, then it's on.
Sheldon (to himself): Foolish Wil Wheaton. It was never off.

Quote from Raj

Wolowitz: Okay, forget giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Do or do not do there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted The Empire Strikes Back.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Sheldon: I am the proud owner of WilWheatonStinks.com, .net and .org!.What does that tell you?
Wil Wheaton: It tells me that I am living rent free, right here (points to Sheldon's head).

Quote from Sheldon

Wil Wheaton: Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Ah beer, the magic elixir that can turn this poor shy Indian boy in the life of the party ... Oh yeah!

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: This isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry. *runs off*
Sheldon: Penny, wait, come back. I'll get you ice cream!

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: That's right, Sheldon. Embrace the dark side.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. I just wanted you to know I'm really looking forward to wiping the floor with you.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Oh, my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda. I love you, Penny.
Penny: Oh. Oh. Thank you.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Hey, Leonard, where do you come down on giant ants?
Raj: Sheldon says impossible. Howard and I say not only possible, but as a mode of transportation, way cooler than a Batmobile.
Sheldon: You are ignoring the square-cube law. The giant ant would be crushed under the weight of its own exoskeleton. And for the record, the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is jet pack, hoverboard, transporter, Batmobile, and then giant ant.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Seriously? You have nothing better to do than sit around and discuss the possibility of giant ants?
Howard: What's with him?
Sheldon: Perhaps he's at a sensitive point in his monthly cycle.
Howard: Are you saying he's man-struating?
Sheldon: Not literally. But as far back as the 17th century, scientists observed a 33-day fluctuation in men's hormone levels.
Raj: Interesting. That might explain my weepy days in the middle of the month. You know what I'm talking about.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Leonard, where do you stand on giant rabbits and scrotal position?
Leonard: I honestly don't care.
Raj: Really? Because every time we've talked about unusual animal genitals, you've always had some pretty strong and controversial opinions.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: What do you want from me? I just don't give a rat's ass.
Howard: Would that be a giant rat's ass?
Sheldon: For the record, giant rats are possible.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Can we please talk about something else? Maybe something vaguely related to life as we know it on this planet?
Howard: Okay, how about this for a topic, why is Leonard being a giant douche? Assuming giant douches are possible.
Sheldon: Of course they are. Leonard's being one.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Maybe he's having a lover's spat with Penny.
Leonard: No, there was no spat.
Howard: Oh, but something happened.
Leonard: I don't want to talk about it.
Sheldon: But I sense you're going to and I don't want to hear about it. Excuse me.

Quote from Raj

Howard: What'd you do, Romeo? You pour maple syrup all over your body and ask her if she was in the mood for a short stack?
Raj: Did you think it would be funny to put on a pair of her panties and jump around, but it wound up just creeping her out?
Leonard: What? No.
Raj: I'm just asking, dude. It happens.

Quote from Sheldon

Stuart: You guys still on for bowling tonight?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, I've prepared some trash talk for the occasion. You bowl like your mama. Unless, of course, she bowls well. In which case, you bowl nothing like her.
Stuart: Oh. Ouch.
Sheldon: That is what is referred to as a burn on you.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Did you ask her to start waxing?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Did you start waxing?
Leonard: No.
Howard: While making love, did you accidentally spank your own ass and cry out Mommy?
Leonard: I'm walking away from you now.
Howard: That wasn't a no.
Raj: Yeah, I think we're getting close.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Did you take a Benadryl and fall asleep while pleasuring her? Because you can die that way.
Raj: Oh, that would be a good way to go.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: Penny, reminder, bowling tonight at seven o'clock.
Penny: Oh, right. Bowling.
Leonard: You don't have to come if you don't want to.
Penny: No, no, it's okay. I mean, let's face it, you guys would get creamed without me.
Sheldon: We would indeed. In this particular case, your lack of femininity works to our advantage.
Penny: It's always nice chatting with you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Penny: Thinly veiled contempt.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Remember, seven o'clock.
Penny: Got it.
Sheldon: Pacific Daylight time!
Penny: Bite me!
Sheldon: Please reserve that butch spirit for the lanes.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: I thought you were bringing your own bowling shoes.
Sheldon: These are my own bowling shoes.
Howard: Then what's with the disinfectant?
Sheldon: I know where my feet have been.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant. Before you jump on Twitter to tout your modest accomplishment, watch how its really done.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, I just wanted to tell you I'm a big fan.
Wil: Oh, thanks.
Howard: I'm sure you're probably sick of Star Trek questions, but, Whoopi Goldberg, you ever hit that?

Quote from Howard

Raj: Ah, the premature "I love you".
Howard: I guessed premature. Does that count?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What?
Sheldon: This is for you.
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip Cathy. When she's upset, she says Ack! and eats ice cream.
Penny: Um, Ack!
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you a lasagna.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Did Leonard send you over here?
Sheldon: No, we haven't spoken since your abrupt departure last night caused us to forfeit to Stuart and his dastardly ringer Wil Wheaton.
Penny: Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Sheldon: I'm not too proud to admit that I cried myself to sleep.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: And let me tell you sleep did not come easily with Leonard in the next room singing along with Alanis Morrisette.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: No. Clearly another woman in dire need of ice cream.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: We don't have to talk 'cause there's nothing to talk about. Everything's good.
Penny: Really? So, you didn't get all snarky 'cause I said something nice to a bowl of chilli fries?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: All right, maybe I overreacted. So we're in two different places emotionally. So what? And maybe I'm a little ahead of you. That's fine. You know. In fact, it makes sense, 'cause let's face it, I've been in this relationship two years longer than you.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right! Fence mended, problem swept under the rug. Time to bowl! Yes, I was eavesdropping. There's a lot at stake here.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I, um, I want you to know that even though we're on opposite sides, I, I bear you no ill will.
Penny: Thank you, Stuart. It's nice to know.
Stuart: People from opposite sides often have good relationships. You know, Romeo and Juliet, Tony and Maria from West Side Story, what's-his-name and the big blue chick in Avatar. ... I'm gonna bowl now.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Did you let Wil Wheaton get in your head?
Penny: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: He's evil. He plays evil mind games. Did he tell you his grandmother died?
Penny: No!
Sheldon: Well, if he does, don't believe it. He's not above playing the dead meemaw card.

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