Quotes from ‘The Staircase Implementation’

The Staircase Implementation

'The Staircase Implementation' - Season 3, Episode 22

After a disagreement with Sheldon, Leonard tells Penny the story of how he moved into the apartment and became friends with Sheldon.

Air Date: May 17, 2010.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don't have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they're here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I assure you, you'll be sorry that you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
Rajesh: Do you have an opinion about everything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: And you just assume you're right?
Sheldon: It's not an assumption.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What's the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: Uh, radon?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
(Sheldon gives Leonard a stern look)
Leonard: Telling you.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight?
Penny: Well, you can try. But the neighbors across the hall are being very noisy.
Leonard: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Penny: Yeah, apparently the one fella changed the thermostat, and then the other fella went bat-crap crazy.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu. You're my favorite Linux-based operating system.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Not only that Sheldon saved my life, but that he didn't report me to the landlord, or the police, or homeland security.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Hey, excuse me, I'm looking for a Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Asian Guy: Oh, so you're here about the room.
Leonard: Yeah!
Asian Guy: Run Away Dude.
Leonard: Wait, what?
Asian Guy: Run Fast, Run Far!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, Babydoll Pink, let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet.

Quote from Sheldon

TV Announcer: Up next Babylon 5.
(Sheldon looks at Leonard)
(Penny listening to Sheldon and Leonard argue from her apartment)
Leonard: You're not even watching it.
Sheldon: I can hear it.
Leonard: The dialogue offends you?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm already there.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That's where I sit.
Leonard: What's the difference?
Sheldon: This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.

Quote from Penny

Penny: So Sheldon's last roommate tried to warn you off?
Leonard: For all I knew, he was the crazy one. He had this really deranged look.
Penny: Well, yeah. He'd been living with Sheldon.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Let me point out that two degrees can be the difference between water and steam.
Leonard: Yes, if we lived in a tea kettle.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That's Latin for my chair, my rules.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, re-establishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind.
Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with preserving the knowledge.
Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I did notify you.
Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat. Hoisted by my own spam filter.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wait, let me get my jacket.
Howard: You're not going with us.
Sheldon: Why not?
Raj: You're the guy we're trying to get away from.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, in that case, I don't need my jacket. And for the record, the correct syntax is I'm the guy from whom you're trying to get away.

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