Quotes from ‘The Zazzy Substitution’

The Zazzy Substitution

'The Zazzy Substitution' - Season 4, Episode 3

Sheldon and Amy break up after an argument over the importance of their respective fields. Sheldon struggles to cope with the change and seeks an alternative to human companionship.

Air Date: October 7, 2010.

Quote from Howard

Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: And potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Now, when you said on the phone he broke up with a girl, you meant an actual girl? Not something you kids whipped up in a lab?

Quote from Mary Cooper

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I'm not pining for anybody.
Mary Cooper: Oh, lamb chop. We can quibble what to call it, but I think we can both agree it's creepy.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Sheldon: I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer, Frisch, Panofsky, Feynman, Weisskopf.
Mary: Yeah, I get it. You got a lot of cats, and you gave 'em cute Jewish names.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Women, you can't live with them. You can't successfully refute their hypotheses.
Sheldon: Amen to that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I know mother, but you're not fooling me. Every time you want to talk it means you want me listen.
Mrs. Cooper: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, Ma'am.

Quote from Amy

Penny: How's your life?
Amy: Like everybody else's, subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. Thank you for asking.

Quote from Howard

*Howard imitates Raj's drunken Bollywood Breakdance*
Raj: Dude, that's offensive.
Howard: Yeah, we all thought so.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I must take responsibility, I had to stop for feminine hygiene supplies.
Leonard, Raj, Wolowitz: Oh, oh, ok.
Sheldon: I believe she's experiencing her menzies.
Amy: Actually, I'm not. In order to avoid surprises, I wear them all the time.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I named him Zazzles because he's so zazzy.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: She was a girl who was my friend who is now a girl who is not my friend.
Penny: Wow. That's like the worst country song ever.

Quote from Leonard

Amy: Is he always like this when he loses?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. You should have been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.
Leonard: You bumped the table and you know it.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Leonard: I saw what you did there.
Mary Cooper: He thinks he's such a smarty pants. He's no different from any man. You tell him not to do something, that's all they want to do. If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the woodchipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: He's just so zazzy, don't you think?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Leonard: No, she's real.
Mary Cooper: Did they sin?

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Well, well. That's a powerful smell.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Shelly, dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Coming.
Mary Cooper: No cats!
Sheldon: Aww.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Now, the reason I called Amy over was to find out what kind of person she is. Now, after chatting a bit, I have to say that while she is a perfectly ... unique ... young woman, you two are definitely not suited for each other.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Well, putting aside the pig Latin. It's a good a thing you two decided to end the relationship so I didn't have to end it for you.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: Now, don't you move. I'll bring over all the food.
Leonard: No, I can do it.
Mary Cooper: Well, isn't that sweet.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Here's your cat and here's your $20.

Quote from Mary Cooper

Mary Cooper: You should have called sooner.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Oh Balls!

Quote from Mary Cooper

Leonard: But there is something I should prepare you for.
Mary Cooper: Oh, relax, Leonard. I have raised that boy. I have seen him at his best and I've seen him at his worst. There's nothing he can do that will surprise me.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Penny, dear, why don't you shoot another silver bullet my way?
Penny: Get one yourself.
Raj: Ooh, somebody's been taking bitchy pills.
Penny: God, he's an ass when he drinks.
Howard: Oh, he's an ass when he doesn't. You just don't hear it.

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