Quotes from ‘The Thespian Catalyst’

The Thespian Catalyst

'The Thespian Catalyst' - Season 4, Episode 14

Sheldon is inundated with negative feedback when he teaches a class. To improve his communication skills, Sheldon gets acting lessons from Penny. Meanwhile, Koothrappali has romantic daydreams about Howard's girlfriend, Bernadette.

Air Date: February 3, 2011.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like a labradoodle.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Mrs. Cooper? Hey, it's Penny. I think I broke your son. Hold on. Talk to your mother.
Sheldon: (Crying) Mommy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I think I'll turn in. I didn't wanna teach those poopy heads anyway.
Howard: FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, that's fine, but let's try and get you out of your comfort zone.
Sheldon: Why would we want to do that? It's called the comfort zone for a reason.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.

Quote from Penny

Penny: (Reading tweet) "Listening to Dr. Cooper has made me wanna start cutting myself again."

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I agreed to speak to you this evening because I was told that you're the best and the brightest of this university's doctoral candidates. Hmm. Of course, that's like saying you are the most important electron in a hydrogen atom. 'Cause you see, there's only one electron in a hydrogen atom. Best and brightest my sweet patootee. All right, let's begin. Show of hands, who here is familiar with the concept of topological insulators? Don't kid yourselves.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I sense that you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany. Would you mind very much jumping to it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Action.
Penny: Okay, it's not a movie. It's improv. So no one calls action.
Sheldon: Hey, you taught me something. Who would have thought that.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is isolating the part of your brain where the memory is stored and destroying it with a laser.
Sheldon: Hmm, no. One slip of the hand and suddenly I'm sitting in the Engineering Department, building doodads with Wolowitz.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I'm still not adjusted to how the SyFy channel spells their name now. S-Y-F-Y, that's siffy.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is an American classic.
Sheldon: So is the McRib sandwich. I don't care for that either.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, you know what? Let's just try a different improv. Uh, oh, this time we will be two winos living under a freeway overpass.
Sheldon: Oh, and we're going to use props?
Penny: You bet. I had dreams, you know. I was gonna be famous. Show everybody back home I could be someone. Now look at me. Want some?
Sheldon: You have any frozen yogurt?

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Do you realize that teaching is the first thing I've failed at since my ill-fated attempt to complete a chin-up in March of 1989?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, just to be clear. You are asking me for help because I know something that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.
Sheldon: I suppose that's one way to look at it.
Penny: I think it's the only way to look at it.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I found another tweet from a student at Sheldon's lecture. Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Look. Listen to this one. Does Einstein's theory explain why time flies when you're having fun, but when you're listening to Dr. Cooper, it falls out of the sky, dead?

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Hey, Leonard, is your wi-fi down? I can't get on.
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It's now Penny is a freeloader. No spaces.

Quote from Howard

Penny: What are you guys doing?
Leonard: Sheldon gave a lecture at the university tonight. We're reading the reviews.
Penny: Oh. How'd he do?
Howard: Well, picture the Hindenburg meets Chernobyl meets Three Mile Island meets Tron 2.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Good evening, Leonard, Howard, Raj, freeloader.
Howard: So, how'd the lecture go?
Sheldon: In a word, triumphant.
Leonard: Really? Triumphant?
Sheldon: Oh, yes, you should have seen those young people. Thirsty for knowledge, drinking in my wisdom. I may have changed a few lives today.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Oh, tweets about my lecture. Hmm. That's rather unfair. That's downright cruel. Plus, insects have six legs. Yeah, I'm not familiar with the acronym KMN.
Leonard: Oh, uh, from the context, we think it means kill me now.

Quote from Raj

Raj: And just for the record, labradoodles are hypo-allergenic, which is a very sexy quality to those troubled by animal dander.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Have you considered improving your socialization skills, thus allowing you to communicate more effectively with other people?
Sheldon: Isn't that their burden? I'm the one with something interesting to say.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Perhaps you should consider taking acting lessons.
Sheldon: Acting lessons. Interesting. It might help if I could act as though I care about my students and whether or not they learn.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What?
Sheldon: You're an (air quotes) actress, correct?
Penny: I'm not an (air quotes)actress. I'm an actress.
Sheldon: All right. You're an actress. I need you to teach me.
Penny: You want an acting lesson?
Sheldon: Perhaps two. I'd like to master the craft.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, where is this coming from?
Sheldon: It has been suggested to me that acting techniques could improve my lecturing, at which, if certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, I suck the big one.
Penny: Yeah, I saw those. They were funny. I printed a few out and put 'em on my fridge.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: So, when could we start?
Penny: Okay, just to be clear. You are asking me for help because I know something that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.
Sheldon: I suppose that's one way to look at it.
Penny: I think it's the only way to look at it.
Sheldon: Are you going to help me or not?
Penny: Probably. I'm just enjoying the foreplay. Does this mean you are done mocking my acting career?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought making the transition from actor to acting teacher was the signal that one's career had reached the end of the road.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You were acting?
Sheldon: Yes. In preparation for today's studies, I read Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares, Stella Adler's The Technique of Acting, Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting, and Henry Winkler's Ey!, I'm an Actor.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How shall we begin?
Penny: Well, I thought we'd start with some basic movement exercises. You know, get our bodies warmed up a little.
Sheldon: All right.
Penny: So I just want you to relax and kind of move around in the space. You know, just do whatever feels natural. Sheldon?
Sheldon: (standing still) You said to do whatever feels natural. This feels natural. Certainly more natural than what you're doing.
Penny: Come on, you got to work with me. We need to get connected with our bodies.
Sheldon: Penny, my body and I have a relationship that works best when we maintain a cool, wary distance from each other.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay. Uh, no, the shipment has not arrived, and I really need those shoes. They are my biggest seller. Yes, ladies sizes six through ten. Thank you. Oh, sorry, I have to go, I have a customer. Bye-bye. Hi. Can I help you?
Sheldon: I'd like a frozen yogurt, please.
Penny: Yogurt?
Sheldon: Yeah.
Penny: Um, okay, sure. Luckily, we sell both shoes and yogurt here.
Sheldon: You do?
Penny: Yes. Look up at the sign. And remember, improv is always about saying yes.
Sheldon: All right. Yes. I see a sign. It says Camarillo State Mental Hospital.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: It's the only explanation I can come up with for why you think you sell shoes and yogurt.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What would you rather do as a scene study?
Sheldon: I'm glad you asked. I took the liberty of adapting a Star Trek fan fiction novella I wrote when I was ten into a one-act play.
Penny: And you think it's better than Tennessee Williams?
Sheldon: Why don't we leave that for future generations to decide?

Quote from Penny

Penny: "Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before."
Sheldon: It's the story of a young boy who is transported from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd Century, where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated.
Penny: KMN.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little, so I'm thinking you'll play the role of your mother, and I will bring life to Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. You'll be Spock?
Penny: It's only logical.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Very well. I'll set the scene.
Penny: All right.
Sheldon: East Texas. A warm summer night. A woman, Mary, stands on a porch. In the distance, we hear a lonesome train whistle. Woo-woo. The droning buzz of cicadas. Zzzzzzzzz. A coyote howls at the moon, frightening sensitive young boys everywhere. Ow-ow-ow! Out in the woods, an owl screeches.
Penny: Okay, okay. We get it. You set the scene.
Sheldon: Hoot!

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Now just read your mother's line.
Sheldon: Shelly! Shelly, how many times have I told you not to leave your sciencey stuff out on the porch? Goodness, I'll never understand that boy. But then again, I'm a religious nut, and my mind is closed to so many things.
Penny: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Spock to Enterprise. Transport successful.
Sheldon: Glory be to Heaven, some sort of creature just manifested out of thin air. George, put down that Pepsi can full of bourbon that ain't foolin' no one, and get your shotgun!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, Shelly? A man's here to take you away to the future. Be sure to pack clean underwear.
Penny: That's good. That's good. That's good.
Sheldon: Mommy, why are you crying? 'cause I'm gonna miss you, Shelly-bean, even though you creep the bejeezus out of me.
Penny: Okay, I guess we're improvising now.
Sheldon: Well I'm sorry. It's not my fault. I'm just incredibly smart, and everyone around here is dumber than a bag of rocks. Oh, now, donít you start crying. You get in that spaceship. Mommy's late for Indian bingo.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: (On the phone) Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny. Yeah, I think I broke your son. Hey, hold on. Talk to your mother.
Sheldon: Mommy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future!

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