Quotes from ‘The Cohabitation Formulation’

The Cohabitation Formulation

'The Cohabitation Formulation' - Season 4, Episode 16

Leonard rekindles his relationship with Raj's sister, Priya, who is back in town. Meanwhile, Howard contemplates taking his relationship with Bernadette to the next level.

Air Date: February 17, 2011.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz: Who's there? Are you a sex criminal?
Howard: Sex criminals don't have key, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Where were you so late?
Howard: I was out with Bernadette
Mrs. Wolowitz: I know what that means, I watch Dr. Phil. I hope to God you used a condom.
Howard: I am not having this conversation with you, ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz: God forbid you get one of them fancy sex diseases.
Howard: Nobody has a disease!
Mrs. Wolowitz:I hope not. I share a toilet with you. Is that what you want, to give your mother herpes?

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: So, you feeling better?
Penny: Not really.
Amy: Sheldon, you have a guest who's upset.
Sheldon: I'll make tea.
Penny: Sweetie, it's OK. I don't want tea.
Sheldon: It's not optional.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Thanks to you, I just made a rhesus monkey cry like a disgraced televangelist.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".

Quote from Raj

Raj: You heard me, I forbidded it.
Priya: Forbidded it?
Raj: Forbayded it?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Just keep in mind, should you ever need a slightly apathetic, tertiary friend, I stand at the ready.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Well, granted Penny your secondary sexual characteristics are reasonably bodacious but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional and she comes from the culture that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. Whereas you, on the other hand, are a community college drop-out who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I came as quickly as I could.
Penny: Ok, why?
Amy: To comfort you, of course. Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister, so I high-tailed over here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
Penny: Amy, I'm fine.
Amy: You don't have to be strong for me. Now, let's talk about Priya, that man-stealing bitch.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The code also states that if she disobeys, she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases. If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble given that the prize is Leonard.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: While you're at it I am upset we have an unannounced house guest, so make me cocoa.

Quote from Amy

Amy: It seems like the appropriate thing to do when one's best friend finds herself replaced by a smart, beautiful woman with the smouldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Don't worry. As you tertiary friend I'm prepared to step in and comfort you.
Howard: It's not really necessary.
Sheldon: Ah no. I'll finish making the tea while you narcissistically ramble on about whatever's troubling you.
Howard: Thanks.
Sheldon: That's what tertiary friends are for.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Big fight with my mother.
Leonard: Still arguing over which CSI is the best?
Howard: No, we agreed they all have their merits. This was about Bernadette.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Penny, you became disenchanted with Leonard as a lover. Would you please tell my sister why?

Quote from Raj

Raj: Leonard, I swear to God, if you sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her.
Leonard: my sister's thirty-eight and married.
Raj: All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Ooh, I thought I smelled pizza.
Sheldon: That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German shepherds at our nation's airports.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. I don't want to impose.
Sheldon: No, no. It's not an imposition. At this point, in our ecosystem, you are akin to the plover, a small scavenging bird that eats extra food from between the teeth of crocodiles. Please, fly into our open maw and have at it.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be for porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?
Penny: I didn't do the audition.
Sheldon: Given the state of your career, can you really afford to be picky?

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