Sheldon: Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.

Sheldon: Are you suggesting I play dirty?
Amy: Yes, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Which brings me to our next order of business. [kisses Sheldon]
Sheldon: Fascinating.
Amy: I hope you don't take what I'm about to do as a comment on what we just did. [runs to bathroom and vomits]

Sheldon: The mean Indian lady tried to make me eat lamb.

Sheldon: You may have gone to Cambridge but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.

Sheldon: And what a civilisation is the Greeks. They gave us science, democracy and little cubes of charred meat that taste like sweat.

Leonard: Top of her class, Cambridge University. Licensed to practice law in three countries. And your face.

Sheldon: Leonard, are you in the shower?
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: I asked if you were in the shower, but that's moot now.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events.
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: (Entering bathroom) I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency!
Leonard: What kind of an emergency?
Sheldon: Mathematical. 32 ounce banana smoothie, 16 ounce bladder.

Amy: You're like a sexy toddler.
Sheldon: I don't know how to process that.

Sheldon: (To the smoking monkey) You really are an ass.

Sheldon: Really, Amy? Tobacco and alcohol? Need I remind you not a lot of scientific discoveries were made by people having a good time?

Sheldon: It's hard to say no to Yoo-hoo. The name literally beckons.

Sheldon: According to the Roommate Agreement, Paragraph 9, Subsection B: The right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of force majeure, and believe me, I am experiencing a very majeure force.

Sheldon: A girls night? Oh, I don't know if I'm up for an evening talking rainbows, unicorns and menstrual cramps.

Sheldon: No, thank you. But for the record, I'm an excellent dancer. Proficient in the rumba, waltz and cha-cha.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: I don't see why that's surprising. I excel at so many things. You've had my sourdough bread.

Leonard: Oh, cool. I've got a lawyer. And I've seen her naked.

Leonard: No offense, but shower sex with you is now the second best thing that's happened today.

Raj: Mmm, Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we've done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.

Bernadette: Oh, I totally want to see Sheldon dance. I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

Amy: I trained Ricky how to smoke. I can train him to shoot a poison dart. No jury would convict us 'cause people love monkeys.

Amy: How come if we're the smart people, we don't do this every night?
Sheldon: What's sixteen times 14?
Amy: My burps taste like cranberry juice.
Sheldon: And there's your answer.