Quotes from ‘The Wildebeest Implementation’

The Wildebeest Implementation

'The Wildebeest Implementation' - Season 4, Episode 22

Amy and Penny recruit Bernadette as a double agent when she and Howard have dinner with Leonard and Priya. Meanwhile, Raj tries out a new medication to cure his social anxiety.

Air Date: May 5, 2011.

Quote from Raj

Raj: She didn't even get to see my penis.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.
Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. Its probably lonely.
Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I dont see that catching on at all.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: As a mental exercise, I invite you to figure out why the two of us can't play three-person chess.

Quote from Amy

Leonard: Sorry.
Amy: So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?
Leonard: Yeah. How did you know?
Amy: I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, 'cause, you know, that's kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: That bitch!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I can't do this any more! I'm a good girl. I went to Catholic school!

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: She always this crabby when she urinates?
Bernadette: We're really not that close.

Quote from Amy

Amy: How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whip that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Penny: None?
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
Penny: Glad you're enjoying yourself.
Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect.
Bernadette: Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before.
Amy: Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit chat.
Bernadette: Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.

Quote from Penny

Amy: You okay in there, bestie?
Penny: I'm fine.
Amy: The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness, the inability to pass urine
Penny: Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?
Penny: Oh, that's nice.
Amy: No, it's not. It's a strategic maneuver. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it.
Amy: Oh, no. You have to go.
Bernadette: I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage.
Penny: Wait. What are you talking about?
Amy: By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as, Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights.

Quote from Amy

Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
Bernadette: I don't want anything in my ample bosom.
Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Uh, do you know how I solved the balanced center combat-area problem? Five words, transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.
Leonard: That's brilliant.
Sheldon: It's what I do. But wait, there's more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent and the old woman.
Leonard: Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do?
Sheldon: When the serpent slithers to an opposing player's piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves. Ugh.
Leonard: All right.
Sheldon: Unless, it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress, a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent.
Leonard: Elegant.
Sheldon: That's because it's simple.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you.
Sheldon: And...
Leonard: And what?
Sheldon: And a third person. It's three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that.

Quote from Amy

Leonard: You okay?
Amy: Yeah, yeah. I'm just breaking in some new shoes.
Leonard: Very pretty.
Amy: Thank you. Did you know that women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts more prominent?
Leonard: Hadn't really thought about it.
Amy: Look.
Leonard: Uh, sure. Very ... prominent.
Amy: Please, Leonard, don't leer. You have a girlfriend.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?
Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.

Quote from Raj

Priya: Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?
Raj: I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me.
Leonard: Really? In front of your sister?
Priya: We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.

Quote from Penny

Amy: I don't understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes?
Penny: No. Once these puppies touch the ground they're mine, and I'll have to wear them walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Good news, the wildebeest is in the curry.
Penny: The what?
Amy: Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard. Message received. Commence Operation "Priya Wouldn't Wanna Be-ya."

Quote from Amy

Penny: Hey. Seriously? Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Penny: None?
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

Quote from Penny

Amy: Hang on. It's the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career.
Penny: What the hell did she say?
Amy: She thinks it's cool you're following your dream, no matter what.
Penny: That bitch!

Quote from Amy

Amy: How do you want to handle it?
Penny: Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie.
Amy: Got it. Is it going to be in 3-D?
Penny: What? I don't know. It doesn't matter.
Amy: I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know the studio has faith in it.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: You're kidding. 3-D?
Bernadette: That's what I hear.
Howard: Then the studio must have real faith in it.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: I need a hug.
Sheldon: Sorry, I have company.
Raj: Come on, Sheldon, open the door.
Sheldon: I don't want to hug you.
Raj: I don't want to hug you, either. I was just feeling blue.
Sheldon: Blue, as in depressed?
Raj: Well, not so much depressed as lonely.
Sheldon: I don't know what color lonely is.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Social protocol does, however, require me to bring you a hot beverage in your time of need.
Raj: No, thank you. I'm fine.
Sheldon: It's not optional. We're out of tea. I hope you like bouillon.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Sheldon, listen to me. I have a big decision to make, and I'm scared.
Sheldon: Yellow. Go ahead.
Raj: A friend at the School of Pharmacology gave me these new pills they're testing. He says it's the next big thing for social anxiety disorder.
Sheldon: Fascinating. What's in it?
Raj: I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker attached to a molecule extracted from the urine of cows.
Sheldon: I like cows.
Raj: That's not the point.
Sheldon: It was its own point. Go on.
Raj: I'm a scientist. My ability to think is my bread and butter. I'm afraid if I take this, I might lose that special, unique something that makes me so successful in my field.
Sheldon: Rajesh, I've had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: Okay, I'm still trying to work this out. How did Penny meet an astronaut?
Bernadette: I don't know. The regular way people meet astronauts.
Howard: Most of those guys live in Texas.
Bernadette: Obviously, this one doesn't.
Howard: Okay.
Bernadette: Leonard lives here. Priya's from India. People meet, Howard. God!
Howard: Fine.
Bernadette: You've met lots of astronauts, and I've never grilled you about that. I'd thank you to extend me the same courtesy.

Quote from Bernadette

Leonard: I still can't get over the fact that she got a big movie part. Not that I care what my ex-girlfriend's up to, 'cause I don't.
Bernadette: Maybe that's where she met the astronaut, all right?
Priya: I'm sorry. What would an astronaut be doing working on a movie?
Bernadette: He's a consultant.
Leonard: I thought the movie was about 18th-century Vienna?
Bernadette: He can't have a hobby? Excuse me, I have to pee. Or is that implausible, as well?

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: (on the phone) I think they're on to me. The story's starting to fall apart.
Amy: (on the phone) Calm down. Everything's going to be okay. (To Penny) We may have to kill her.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: I was too busy covering my heinie on Amy's stupid astronaut story!
Amy: What astronaut story?
Bernadette: You texted me "Penny's dating an astronaut."
Amy: I texted architect. That's amusing. Auto-correct must've changed it.
Bernadette: Yeah, it's hysterical.
Penny: All right, look, just forget about the astronaut.
Amy: Architect. Where would you have met an astronaut?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'd like to buy a scone.
Waitress: Oh, I'm sorry, we're out. We have muffins.
Sheldon: They sound delicious, but this money is earmarked for scones.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Nice to see that the gals are getting along.
Leonard: Gals? Who are you, Fred Flintstone?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: My catapult flings my bishop to Howard's Queen's Gorilla two.
Howard: Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad. And he comes out at Leonard's Queen's Bishop five-and-a-third. Check on Leonard.
Leonard: Hang on. When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart?
Sheldon: When it's done charging. Or you land on the time machine. Obviously.
Leonard: Oh, oh, Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your Pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should have given my Pope the jet pack.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Oh, my metatarsals are barking.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life.
Sheldon: Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn't been such a hound dog, wed all have time machines.

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