Leonard: If you're worried, we can go over there and see if she's all right.
Sheldon: Okay. You know, I heard in the news a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood.
Leonard: I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
Sheldon: Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat?
Leonard: You do?
Sheldon: Leonard, I was just mentioning an interesting local news item. Now, thanks to you, I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.

Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing.
Leonard: Did you try calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon: The telephone. You know, Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.

Sheldon: New topic: women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?

Sheldon: The two of you need to get your women in line!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Last night, I was strong armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler. This on a night that I had originally designated for solving the space time geometry in higher spin gravity and building my Lego death star. And why? Because your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette, went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy. An action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory, or my Lego fun time!
Howard: What do you want us to do about it?
Sheldon: You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence. Get your women in line! You make them apologize to Amy and set things right. I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle bunny!
Leonard: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend.
Sheldon: You invited her to lunch four years ago. Everything about her is on you. You make it so!

Bernadette: It would mean so much if you would be the maid of honor at my wedding.
Amy: What? Wait is this some kind of practical joke? Like in Norway when my "friends" trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter?

Amy: Sheldon, I'm going to ask you something, and Id like you to keep an open mind. Sheldon: Always.
Amy: At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.
Sheldon: Oh, boy. You know ours is a relationship of the mind.
Amy: Proposal, one wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.
Sheldon: Counterproposal, I will gently stroke your head and repeat "Aww, who's a good Amy?"
Amy: How about this? French kissing, seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base.
Sheldon: Neck massage, then you get me that beverage.
Amy: We cuddle. Final offer.
Sheldon: Very well. Oh, boy.

Amy: Sheldon, sometimes you forget, I'm a lady. And, with that comes an estrogen- fueled need to page through thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.

(Amy & Sheldon are awkwardly cuddling.)
Amy: I'm just saying, second base is right there.

Leonard: Come on, she's your friend. Step up! [Knock * 3] Amy. [Knock * 3] Amy. [Knock * 3] Amy. (Turns to leave) Bye!
Sheldon: Where are you going?
Leonard: I'm single, I don't need this crap.

Amy: Whee! Ooh, finally someone found second base.

Amy: (To sheldon) Hey, cuddles.
Leonard: Cuddles?
Sheldon: Yes, "cuddles". We cuddled. Grow up, Leonard.

Raj: I'm thinking about adopting some quirky affectation, like a pipe or a monocle or a handlebar moustache.
Leonard: For all those girls out there looking for the Indian Monopoly man?

Penny: Where's Sheldon?
Leonard: Oh, he was up late last night, so I gave him an early dinner and put him to bed.
Bernadette: That's so sweet.
Leonard: Yeah, but now he's gonna be up at dawn and want to play.

Amy: Sheldon, my world is crumbling around me.
Sheldon: Point of order. As you're in distress, it would be customary for me to offer you a hot beverage. But I'm a guest in your home, so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage. How do you want to proceed vis-a-vis beverages?

Amy: Sheldon, what are you doing here?
Sheldon: You didn't respond to any of my electronic communications.
Amy: I wanted to be alone.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it? And keep in mind that no is a perfectly viable answer.

Sheldon: Did you know that when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he proposed answering it with "ahoy"?

Leonard: Leonard's coming down the home stretch. Come on, horsey, you can do this Damn. Come on, thigh muscles, you can do this. Yes, first place! I would have been a great jockey if I weren't too tall. And scared of horses.

Leonard: Amy, how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me?
Amy: I don't know, four or five years.
Leonard: No, it's not gonna do it.

Howard: Can we get that off the table and change the subject?
Sheldon: Can we? Stand back while I turn this conversation into a conver-sensation.
Leonard: This time, it's your fault.
Sheldon: I have 100 alphabetized topics from "Artichoke, come on, people, it's just a giant thistle" to "ZZZ, the onamona-poetry of sleep".

Leonard: Hey, Amy, what brings you to our neck of the woods?
Amy: Your neurology department loaned me a culture of prions for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
Sheldon: She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.
Amy: It's hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious, and yet somehow you do it.

Sheldon: Topic one. Faster-than-light particles at CERN, paradigm-shifting discovery or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese? And converse.

Sheldon: Ladies, please. These four walls once housed an intellectual salon where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach. But through no one's fault, Penny, the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined. And again, I'm looking at no one in particular, Penny.
Leonard: Fine. What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?
Howard: "What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?" Why do you hate us?
Sheldon: I've prepared a number of topics that should appeal to both the advanced and novice conversationalists.
Penny: Okay, that time you looked at me.

Bernadette: I dont know. Dead people's dresses?
Penny: Yeah, and cap sleeves?
Amy: I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes, and sadly as it turned out, space heaters.

Amy: Girlfriends, I have the answer to our dress problems.
Bernadette: Really?
Amy: Twelve years ago, my cousin Irene and her entire family died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident the night before her wedding.
Bernadette: That's horrible.
Amy: Yes and no. All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused and available to us for free. So it seems that cloud of odourless deadly gas had a silver lining after all. Check it out, still in the bags. The gowns, not the bridesmaids.

Penny: So, Bernadette, how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
Bernadette: Well, if you dont mind looking like an orange traffic cone, great.