Quotes from ‘The Speckerman Recurrence’

The Speckerman Recurrence

'The Speckerman Recurrence' - Season 5, Episode 11

When Leonard is contacted by his high school bully, he wonders whether to meet his old tormentor. Meanwhile, in light of what Leonard's going through, Penny reevaluates her own behavior at school.

Air Date: December 8, 2011.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Do you think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don't need to outrun him, I just need to outrun you.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi". No spaces.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm not going to say I told you so, but we could have killed him.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, I platonically love you, man, but face it, you're a mess.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't watch you twenty-four hours a day. I don't know what you do.

Quote from Howard

Jimmy Speckerman: Yeah, we were practically a comedy team.
Wolowitz: Yeah, like the Black Death and Europe.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You are soft. The world is going to chew you up and spit you out.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I don't think I can meet the girl who was always mean to me. Tammy Bodnick. One time, while I was in gym class, she stole all my clothes and left an elf costume in my locker.
Penny: Oh, that's awful.
Bernadette: Worst part was, it was too big.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Congratulations? The Newcomb Medal? Oh, please. That's the scientific equivalent of a smiley face sticker on your homework.

Quote from Sheldon

Jimmy Speckerman: Aw, come on, you can figure it out. You're like the smartest guy I've ever know.

Sheldon: The smartest? All right, you know, I may not have the firmest grip on sarcasm, but even I know that was a doozey.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Hey, for the record, Jimmy wasn't the reason I wet the bed. That one has my mother written all over it.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay. If you can't get me to stop eating your food, what makes you think you can get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
Sheldon: I believe that you're capable of great change. Like when I finally got you to stop saying Valentime's Day.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You want to hear something weird?
Penny: Sure.
Sheldon: In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: You asked Penny if she wanted to hear something weird.
Leonard: Yeah, because I have something weird to tell her.
Sheldon: Oh. I thought it was a game.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices. An e-mail from an old acquaintance, or the head of one of the largest religious institutions in the world slam dunking to Sweet Georgia Brown. Pick.
Leonard: Just do it, 'cause he's not gonna let it go.
Penny: Basketball Pope.
Sheldon: And thats how it's done.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: You know, the holidays are just around the corner. Maybe he wants to see if he can lodge the other testicle up there.
Leonard: I told you. That was a different guy.
Penny: Hmm. That's too bad. We could have spent New Year's Eve waiting for the ball to drop.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: It's two a.m. What are you doing up?
Sheldon: Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live from Stockholm.
Leonard: Sure. You want to see what all the scientists are wearing this year.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Look at these men. They've managed to win the top science prize in the world with no more understanding of the quantum underpinnings of the expansion of the early universe than God gave a goose. You should pay attention, Leonard. Someday this could be you up there.
Leonard: Thanks.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Its this Jimmy Speckerman thing. I can't decide if I should agree to see him or not. Of course that might be because the last time I ran into him, he made me floss with my own shoelaces.
Sheldon: Wear loafers.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Look at Dr. Saul Perlmutter up there, clutching that Nobel Prize. What's the matter, Saul? You afraid someone's going to steal it? Like you stole Einstein's cosmological constant?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, now Perlmutter's shaking the King's hand. Yeah, check for your watch, Gustaf. He might have lifted it.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: You know what? I am tired of living in fear of this guy. I'm gonna go see him and finally say all the things I should have said in high school. You know, "Pick on someone your own size. You did not have sex with my mother. And yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: I love this dress. How come I never see you wear it?
Penny: 'cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.

Quote from Penny

Amy: When Leonard gets back, Id love to check his serotonin levels. Do you think he'd let me draw a syringe full of his blood?
Penny: Hmm, he's not crazy about needles, but if you get him to go jogging, it'll just pour out of his nose.

Quote from Amy

Amy: That's nothing. In ninth grade, the girls put Rogaine in my hand lotion. Within six months, the nicknames began to fly. I think the one that hurt the most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
Penny: Wow. You poor thing.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
Penny: What? I was not a bully.
Bernadette: Kind of sounds like you were. And maybe a felon.
Amy: Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Quote from Sheldon

Jimmy Speckerman: Wow. Look at you. Little Leonard Hofstadter. I hear you're a big-time scientist now.
Sheldon: And there's the first zinger. Ouch.

Quote from Sheldon

Jimmy Speckerman: From what I read, it sounded like a big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this?
Raj: Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
Sheldon: My point.

Quote from Raj

Jimmy Speckerman: Okay. What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching, Annie.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: The man Super Glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples.
Raj: That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses you want on your nipples.

Quote from Penny

Penny: (On the phone) Anyway, I'm really sorry I made fun of your stutter in high school.
Bernadette: You're doing great.
Penny: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, God, just finish the sentence. Okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Bye. No one wants to hear my apologies.
Amy: I think your mistake is doing it over the phone. If they could look into your eyes, they'd melt.
Bernadette: Penny, it doesn't matter what you did in the past. You're a good person now.
Penny: That's easy for you to say. You weren't just called a b-b-b-b-bitch.

Quote from Penny

Amy: Perhaps you could assuage your guilt through altruism. ... Which word's tripping you up? Assuage or altruism?
Penny: Both.
Bernadette: You'll feel better by doing something nice for someone.
Penny: I actually knew that.
Amy: I never doubted you.

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: Every other week I serve at a soup kitchen downtown.
Penny: Ooh, I can't do that. If I stand over a steaming pot, my hair just goes boing! What else could I do?
Amy: There's Habitat for Humanity, building houses for the poor.
Penny: Okay, come on, I don't even have my own house, I'm going to build one for someone else?

Quote from Penny

Amy: How about donating some of your clothes?
Penny: Oh, my God, that's perfect. 'cause I have so many clothes I don't wear, and they're just taking up space, and I go shopping to buy more stuff and I have no place to put it. This will totally fix that.
Bernadette: What about helping people?
Penny: And helping people.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Here's your cocoa.
Sheldon: Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Seven little marshmallows, no more no less?
Leonard: You got one for good luck. (Knock on door) I'll get it.
Sheldon: One for good luck. Must be the kind of math they do at Princeton.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: How about that? After all these years, your big bad high school bully finally apologizes.
Leonard: Yeah. It kind of rekindles your faith in the basic goodness of people.
Sheldon: You know what would be nice?
Raj: Whats that?
Sheldon: As a symbolic gesture to all the bullies who've tormented us for years, we open our home to Jimmy and once he's asleep, we kill him. ... I said it would be nice, I didn't say we should do it.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Ah, I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.
Bernadette: I think Mother Teresa would have washed the clothes first.
Penny: Yeah, well, I bet her laundry room wasn't down five flights of stairs. You know, giving really is better than receiving. I used to think it was such a cliché, but it seems to be the… oh, look at these cute jeans someone just threw away.
Bernadette: Donated.
Penny: Yes, to a poor waitress who loves a boot cut.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The Dark Knight has your back. He's scared, but he has your back.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Wait, wait, wait, guys, just hang on.
Amy: What is it, the fuzz?
Penny: Look at us. What are we doing?
Amy: I was gleefully following you to a life of crime, looking forward to the day we might be cell mates. I don’t know about Bernadette.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: You know, this is wrong. Let's put everything back. Here.
Bernadette (taking boots and running): It's okay, I serve soup to poor people!

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