Quotes from ‘The Transporter Malfunction’

The Transporter Malfunction

'The Transporter Malfunction' - Season 5, Episode 20

When Penny buys Leonard and Sheldon "Star Trek" collectibles, Sheldon listens to his "Inner Spock" and breaks his toy. Meanwhile, Raj believes he's found his future wife when he asks his parents to set him on a date.

Air Date: March 29, 2012.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.
Spock Doll: I come from a factory in Taiwan.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah, it was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. It felt pretty good.

Quote from Raj

Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Dr. Koothrappali: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as their skin-care products.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What is the truth?
Sheldon: My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. And when the toy broke I switched it for yours. Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
Leonard: Okay, that I believe.

Quote from Raj

Lakshmi: I'm gay.
Raj: Like dude-on-dude but with women?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of sundae bars end in happiness.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. Slip on the ring, disappear and everyone goes home.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Everyone knows that I'm our group's resident cut-up.

Quote from Bernadette

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Metrosexual, my ass.

Quote from Sheldon

Spock Doll: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock Doll: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I love astro-physics. It's like looking at the universe naked.

Spock Doll: Very well, I'll just use the Transporter. Oh, that's right. You broke it!

Quote from Raj

Raj: With women! I like to boogie with women!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Oh, my goodness. Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever! You got him for me?
Howard: Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
Raj: I think we already have.

Quote from Raj

Raj: And, once again, my baloney likes girls.

Quote from Mrs. Koothrappali

Raj: Listen, uh, there's something I want to talk to you about. I, I wasn't ready until now, but I think it's time.
Dr. Koothrappali: It's finally happening. You're coming out of the closet, aren't you?
Mrs. Koothrappali: We love you, and we accept your alternate lifestyle.
Just, keep it to yourself.

Quote from Mrs. Koothrappali

Dr. Koothrappali: Well, if you're not coming out, why did you call us during the cricket semi-finals?
Raj: 'Cause I, I'm tired of trying to meet someone and, I think I'd like you to help me find uh, a wife.
Mrs. Koothrappali: And just to clarify, a female wife?

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali

Raj: Hello Mummy, Daddy, how are you?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Pretty good, can't complain.
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh I'm sure you can. Just give it a minute.

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali

Dr. Koothrappali: Matchmaking, very smart move son. Much better than marrying for love.
Mrs. Koothrappali: We married for love.
Dr. Koothrappali: And it's been wonderful.

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