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Quotes from ‘The Extract Obliteration’

The Extract Obliteration

The Extract Obliteration
Season 6, Episode 6 - Aired November 1, 2012

Penny is taking a class at the local college but is reluctant to tell Leonard. Meanwhile, Sheldon worries about his friendship with Stephen Hawking after they play an on-line game together.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I did a bad thing.
Sheldon: Does it affect me?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

Quote from Sheldon

Stephen Hawking: What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Steven Hawking's a genius and he talks like a robot. It's everything I ever wanted in a friend.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, come back. Leonard, come back. Leonard, come back.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, of course, it only works on the weak-minded.

Quote from Howard

Howard: One time when I was working with him, he said that Johnny Depp was in The Matrix. I told him he was wrong, but he kept insisting. So I looked it up online and showed him. Well, the next day, he had a pizza party, and everyone got invited but me. And then he was all, your invitation must have gotten lost in the matrix.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Penny started taking a class. She wrote a paper, she didn't want me to read it, I went behind her back and I read it anyway.
Sheldon: Stephen Hawking hates me.
Leonard: I don't know what to do. I mean, the paper's terrible. But if I tell her, she'll know that I read it and she'll get really mad.
Sheldon: I was beating him so bad, he doesn't want to be friends anymore. Why does everyone love me except Stephen Hawking?
Leonard: Is it possible we're having two different conversations?
Sheldon: How would I know? I'm not listening to you.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Sheldon, I wasn't done talking. She hands in the paper tomorrow. I know I could help her. And she's my girlfriend. I, I should be allowed to help her. Why aren't I allowed to help her?
Sheldon: Yeah, I hear you, brother.
Leonard: No. You need to give me some advice.
Sheldon: Fine. Women, huh?
Leonard: No, specific to my situation.
Sheldon: Blond women, huh?
Leonard: Empathetic.
Sheldon: It sucks to be you.
Leonard: I quit.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Sheldon, I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him.
Sheldon: And if they ever come out with a game called Words with People You Once Worked With, you'll be off to the races.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I will play the word "at" for two measly points, throwing the game and thus securing my friendship with the smartest man in the world.
Howard: What are you waiting for? Hit send.
Sheldon: I can't. Losing on purpose is intellectually dishonest.
Raj: So don't do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but I want to be Hawking's friend.
Howard: So do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but if I do, I'll be a phony, a sellout, a Hollywood poser.
Raj: Then don't do it.
Sheldon: I won't. This feels right. My mother always said, to thine own self be true.
Howard: Good for you.
Sheldon: 'course she also told me that every animal in the world got on one boat, so what does she know? And send.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: It's been three days. Why hasn't Stephen Hawking played a word?
Raj: The guy's a genius. Maybe you weren't challenging enough for him?
Sheldon: Not challenging? I was humiliating the man. I was thinking of writing a book called A Brief History of the Time I Made Stephen Hawking Cry Like a Little Girl.
Howard: There's the problem. You can't beat Hawking like that. He hates to lose. Everyone knows the guy's a big baby. I mean, forget the wheelchair, he should be in a stroller.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Play. Play. Play. Play. Play.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Trying to use a Jedi mind trick to control Stephen Hawking. Play. Play. Ugh! He must be wearing a tinfoil hat or something.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'll walk you through it. This game is not called Words with Strangers. No, it's not even called Words with Acquaintances. It's called Words with-
Raj: I'm not finishing your sentence. You pulled the plug on my funk.
Sheldon: Friends! It's Words with Friends. Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are. Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide, and I'll have everything I've ever wanted since I was six years old.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Earlier today, I invited Professor Stephen Hawking to join me in the popular online game Words with Friends. Moments ago, he accepted my request. Do you understand what that means?
Howard: That somewhere right now Stephen Hawking is saying, "Damn it, I mean to click no."

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Please be good, please be good. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, she writes like she cooks.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'll be Coop and he'll be Wheels. If he's okay with that.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India, I'm going to try use an American accent.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I'm making fun of them.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Spaghetti okay?
Leonard: It's crunchy. Just the way I like it.
Penny: Yeah, I don't think the water was really boiling.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Oh, you could turn his act into extract, and it would be for double points.
Sheldon: Amy. Why would you give me a word? Now, if I play extract it would be cheating.
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: Although, I could play the completely unrelated and better word extract. Ethical conundrum avoided. Thanks, brain.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Am I allowed to ask how the class is going?
Penny: It's really good. We've been talking about the origins of slavery. Turn in my first paper tomorrow.
Leonard: Great topic. I can help with that. There are lots of different perspectives you can take, economic, sociological, political.
Penny: Hey hey hey, this is my paper. And my perspective is that slavery is bad. Oh, and my professor's black, so I'm pretty sure thats the right answer.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yes. I play the word quiver with a triple letter and a double word score for 72 points. That ought to let the air out of your tires, Hawking.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Now behave yourself and eat your dinner. Maybe later, if you're lucky, you get to sleep with a college girl.
Leonard: Really? 'cause I went to four years of college and five years of grad school, that never happened once.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Good morning, sunshine.
Penny: Leonard. It's eight a.m. It's like the middle of the night.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey, what's this?
Leonard: Uh, before you open that, um, are you familiar with the story of "The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
Penny: Elves? Come on, Leonard. It's too early for Lord of the Rings.

Quote from Penny

Amy: How'd it go with Leonard?
Penny: I don't think he'll be making that mistake again.
Bernadette: Good.
Penny: So, I know this goes without saying, but if either of you tell Leonard you helped me rewrite this paper, I will beat you both with a bag of oranges.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Now, ladies, we got a B-minus on this paper. I think if we put our heads together, on the next one we could get an A.
Bernadette: Uh, but we got you a B-minus on purpose to make it believable.
Penny: Believable? You saying I'm not smart?
Bernadette: No, no!
Amy: You're smart.
Penny: That's better.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I once looked in Sheldon's underwear drawer. He yelled at me. But now I know what it looks like and he can never take that away.

Quote from Raj

Howard: I wish we looked as cool dancing in the clubs as we do right now.
Leonard: Don't worry, this is exactly how you look when you're dancing in clubs.
Raj: You're welcome, ladies.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Hang on. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Chess clock. We each get five minutes to talk about our problems. We'll take turns. Each turn will consist of a statement and a helpful response from the friend. Begin.
Sheldon: I humiliated Stephen Hawking in a game of Words with Friends. He stopped playing, and now we're not friends anymore.
Leonard: He's probably busy. You're worried about nothing. Give it a couple more days. I'm sure he'll play, and you'll see that everything's fine. My turn. I can't let Penny hand in a bad paper, but how do I tell her it's bad without letting her know that I read it?
Sheldon: Hmm. Beats me. Now, I know Hawking's not busy because I can see he's playing other people right now.
Leonard: Maybe since you're so good, he's taking his time to meet the challenge. I want Penny to enjoy school...
Sheldon: Wolowitz told me he's a big baby. But I didn't know that, and I played extract for 82 points. It's all Amy's fault. She told me to play it. I have got to cut her loose.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen’s homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Okay, listen, there's something I need to tell you. I've been thinking about going back to school for a while now. So a couple months ago, I started taking a history class at the community college.
Leonard: Oh. That's great. Great, great, great. Why wait so long to tell me?
Penny: I don't want you to make a big deal out of it.
Leonard: Why do you think I'd be like that? I get it, you're taking one class. It's nice. Maybe if it goes well, you take another, you enroll full-time. Ooh, be sure to keep an eye on which credits transfer to a four-year college.
Penny: You're making it a big deal.
Leonard: Sorry. (nonchalantly) Whatever. It's all good.

Quote from Amy

Amy: You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises.
Sheldon: What's your point?
Amy: It's exciting to think you might be getting a testosterone level.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It is glorious. One of the greatest intellects of our time has agreed to engage with me in a gentlemanly battle of wits. And I'm spanking him so hard his grad students won't be able to sit down.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: I just can't believe you could keep something like that from him.
Amy: You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know.
Penny: Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
Amy: I can, but she's sitting right there.

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: Why would you be embarrassed to tell us?
Penny: No, I'm not embarrassed. I just didn't want anyone to know because I haven't told Leonard yet.
Amy: Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
Penny: Because it's me going back to school, and he's gonna be all "You can do it!" and "How can I help?" and "I'm so proud of you". Ugh!

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: Why do you have a history textbook?
Penny: No, it's not a big deal. Just taking a class at the Pasadena Community College.
Bernadette: Thats great. I didn't know you wanted to go back to school.
Penny: It's just one history class. Look, I didn't finish college, so I thought I would give it a try.
Amy: Not to mention, your acting career is going south like Sherman. Read about it in your book.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: So, I was taking a shower this morning, and when I got out, I started to dry off with what I thought was a towel but turned out to be Howard's mom's underwear. I had to take another shower. It wasn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I have no reason to ... "B" mad at you. Minus.
Leonard: Wow.
Penny: That's right. On my paper. Not yours, mine, you punk-ass elf.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: It's like when I started doing chin-ups. I didn't want you to see until I could do one. FYI, really close.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Wow, my boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar. Everything really is coming up Amy.

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