Quotes from ‘The Closet Reconfiguration’

The Closet Reconfiguration

The Closet Reconfiguration
Season 6, Episode 19 - Aired March 14, 2013

When Sheldon reorganizes Howard's closet, he finds an unopened letter from Howard's father. Howard is torn over whether he should finally read the letter or not. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny throw their first "grown-up" party.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell me what to do and how to do it, but not both at the same time. This isn't sex.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What can I do for you ladies?
Amy: You have something we want.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. My mother warned me this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city.
Penny: No, we just want information.
Sheldon: Oh. I've got that spades. Ravage me.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Quote from Howard

Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Where have you been?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, if I was prone to sarcasm I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets.
Leonard: (Counts to 10 and takes a breath) What I meant was, gee Sheldon! You were gone a long time!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I found three bowling pins. Do you juggle these or are you missing seven?
Howard: Juggle.
Sheldon: You health nuts kill me.

Quote from Howard

Howard: You know what we should do? We should show the closet to Sheldon.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Are you kidding? He’s like a savant at organizing. Everything in his apartment has a label on it. Including his label maker, which has a label that says label maker. And if you look really close at that label maker label, you’ll see a label that says label.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
Penny: Damn, I forgot to feed him. And that I had him.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, surprisingly, the letter from your father wasn't the most interesting thing I read in the closet. Bernadette's diary has some saucy passages.
Bernadette: Sheldon, don't you dare.
Sheldon: There's nothing to worry about. Your secret's safe with me.
Bernadette: That's more like it.
Sheldon: Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets in the context of a review.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sheldon, aren't you going to spend a little time with Amy?
Amy: Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it. The other day at Whole Foods, he spent an entire hour optimizing the cheese aisle.
Sheldon: Yeah, and some thanks I got. The assistant manager chased me out with an artisanal salami.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Sheldon, I've been cooking all day.
Sheldon: Well, now don't you feel silly.
Bernadette: (To Howard) Show him the closet.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I was actually trapped by Penny and forced into reveleaing confidential information about Howard's father.
Leonard: What information?
Sheldon: I can't tell you, I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality.
Raj: Just tell us.
Sheldon: Badgering me won't work. What would work is saying Penny would tell us anyway.
Leonard: Then that.
Sheldon: Very well. Everyone's on their game today.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: The letter was found in Bernadette's closet. Doesn't that count for something?
Sheldon: Are you pointing out that California is a community property state and since Howard and Bernadette are married the intellectual property contained in that letter is jointly owned by the two spouses?
Penny: Yeah, obviously.
Sheldon: Well played. Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: He's our guest. We can't just ask him to straighten our closet.

Howard: No, we wouldn't ask him. We'd just show him the closet and let the goblins in his head take it from there.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: You know we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say dressed up, you mean nice clothes, right? Not like capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Yes. Although...
Penny: No.

Quote from Raj

Raj: These spring rolls are amazing. Good job, Bernadette.
Bernadette: That's the takeout that Sheldon brought.
Raj: Oh, well, I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if I hadn't tried your food first.

Quote from Amy

Amy: His quirks just make you love him more. Someone please agree with me.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Just seeing that letter freaked him out. And he was already having a tough day, 'cause he accidentally wore my pants to work. I don't know why he was upset. They were bigger on him than me.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Now, the first thing we need is a theme. I'm thinking turn-of-the-century Moulin Rouge.
Leonard: I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: It was a map leading to the lost treasure of the famous pirate One-Eyed Willy.
Howard: Nice try. That's the plot for Goonies.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I would like to change mine. The pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine. Now it's completely different from Goonies.
Amy: No, it's not.
Sheldon: Don't.