Leonard: Sheldon's nervous about me leaving. Just keep an eye on him while I'm gone.
Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.

Raj: Okay, I have a request to make.
Amy: And now he can talk. I want to cut open your brain and see what the heck is going on in there.

Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.

Sheldon: Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.

Amy: Excuse me, but I'm a neurobiologist. I think I'm a little more qualified to understand what's not working in your girlfriend's brain.

Sheldon: It did not kill me when you went to space. Monkeys went to space.

Raj: If you wear something brown and sit on the couch, they won't even know you're there.

Raj: I'm unlovable.
Penny: It's just the booze talking.
Raj: I haven't had a drink since last night.
Penny: You're talking to me!
Raj: I am! Now I'm crying for a whole different reason.
Penny: Me too.

Sheldon: Who would win in a fight, you or a shark?

Penny: Oh gosh. Sheldon, the genius, is jealous of Leonard.
Sheldon: I'm not jealous. I'm just very unhappy that good things are happening for him and not happening for me.

Sheldon: Penny, we’re in the red zone. The white zone is for loading and unloading. We’re breaking the law.

Howard: It was really nice of you to try to be happy for Leonard.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Howard: It must've killed you when I went to space.

Howard: I'm proud of you, Leonard. Working out on the North Sea for months, that's really something.
Leonard: I know. As far as science goes, this is the adventure of a lifetime.
Howard: Maybe your lifetime. I went to space.
Leonard: It's not a competition.
Howard: You're right, you're right. I'm really proud of you, and I'm gonna miss you when you're gone. And space beats water.

Bernadette: So, have you ever spent a long time on a boat before?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Are you referring to the time we got stuck on the Small World ride at Disneyland?
Leonard: Yeah.

Amy: Ignore him. He's a little nervous 'cause he doesn't think I understand the severity of your social anxiety.
Raj: What the? Are you crazy? You can't talk about social anxiety to someone who has social anxiety. It makes them socially anxious!

Leonard: Anyway, you guys really don't need to make a big deal.
Sheldon: Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.
Penny: Sheldon, sweetie, shut up.

Leonard: Really, you guys do not need to throw me a going-away party.
Howard: Are you kidding me? How often can you say bon voyage to somebody when they're actually going on a voyage?

Penny: Oh, sweetie, if you're gonna screw things up, it's gonna be while you're here, not while you're away. No. I mean, look, you have to go. It sounds like an amazing opportunity. And I'm just basing that on how much I didn't understand what you said about it.

Leonard: I'll be on a ship in the North Sea.
Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Leonard: So, listen, do you remember when I said the similarities of the equations of general relativity and hydrodynamics suggest you could find the equivalent of Unruh radiation in a large body of water?
Penny: I thought I said that to you.

Raj: If you look carefully at Venus, you should be able to see the International Space Station pass by.
Lucy: Wow. Your friend was actually up there?
Raj: Yeah. He brought me back a T-shirt that said "My Friend Went to the Space Station and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt".
Lucy: Did he take the T-shirt to space?
Raj: Nope. It's exactly as lousy as advertised.

Leonard: Look, I appreciate your signature blend of concern for me and incredible selfishness. If I get the chance to do this, there is nothing you can say that's going to stop me.

Leonard: I know what you're doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On land. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.

Sheldon: Would you like to hear a classic Sheldon Cooper factoid?
Leonard: What do you think?
Sheldon: Great. I've been doing some reading about vehicular safety. Did you know that the highest number of drowning accidents happen on or around boats?
Leonard: Interesting that you would bring that up when I might go work on a boat.
Sheldon: Well, that's the thing about factoids. They're interesting.

Sheldon: Well, now, but do you think that's a good idea? You know Star Trek. Should a guy with no name and a red shirt really go on an expedition?
Raj: Hey, don't discourage him. This is a fantastic opportunity.
Sheldon: No one asked you, Uhura.

Howard: Leonard, I may have gotten you a job.
Leonard: I have a job.
Sheldon: Yes, he does. He caters to my every whim.

Sheldon: Don't worry, officer. They just love each other. We're not smuggling drugs.

Penny: Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Penny: So then during the afternoon shift, I spilled an entire tray of drinks on myself.
Leonard: Oh, that's awful.
Penny: Not really. My shirt was soaking wet. I got like the biggest tip of my life.

Sheldon: Yeah, I used to be uncomfortable around people, but then I learned a trick. I pretend everyone I meet is a beloved character from Star Trek.
Howard: How's that been working for you?
Sheldon: Oh, like a charm, unnamed crewman in a red shirt.

Raj: So, anyway, last night on video chat, I spent like twenty minutes just staring into Lucy's eyes.
Leonard: Oh, that sounds romantic.
Raj: It was, until I realized the screen had frozen. Still one of my top three dates of all time.