Quotes from ‘The Hofstadter Insufficiency’

The Hofstadter Insufficiency

'The Hofstadter Insufficiency' - Season 7, Episode 1

With Leonard away at sea, Sheldon and Penny bond over their intimate secrets. Meanwhile, Raj is consoled as he deals with his break-up from Lucy, and Amy and Bernadette spend time together at a science convention.

Air Date: September 26, 2013.

Quote from Amy

Amy: It would be nice to be with a man who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan. FYI, it's another cardigan.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, "I am a rock. I am an i.....sland".

Quote from Raj

Raj: Who died and made you the king of moments?

Quote from Amy

Amy: Your husband's weird and his clothes are ridiculous.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: A while ago YouTube changed from a star-based rating system to a thumbs-up rating system. I pretend I'm okay with this, but I'm not.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I get it, I get it. You're an emotionless robot.
Sheldon: Well, I try.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I want you to be happy, too. But not enough to do anything about it.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants and see if we could score us some free omelettes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well now I know how it must have felt being mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I own nine pairs of pants.
Penny: Okay, that's a good start. But I was thinking something a bit more personal.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. I own nine pairs of underpants.

Quote from Raj

Raj: If I were hitting on you, you would know it because you would be feeling uncomfortable and a little sad for me.

Quote from Raj

Raj: If you like dry, factual statement interspersed with awkward silence, it was bananas.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You think you're so cool because your wife is a person?

Quote from Amy

Amy: So I can drink this drink without giving up the goodies?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Sheldon, it's not a great time. What do you want?
Sheldon: (on the phone in the apartment) Hello to you, too. I'm sorry, but this is important.
Leonard: What is it?
Sheldon: Back to the Future II was in the Back to the Future III case, and Back to the Future III was, get this, in the Back to the Future II case.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, did you do that, or am I in the house with an intruder?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What's the matter?
Sheldon: Um, well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard. And that might be causing you to have bad dreams, like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.
Penny: Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?
Sheldon: To be honest, I did.
Penny: Aww.
Sheldon: Back to the Future II was in the Back to the Future III case. Leonard did it.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I think you'd be pleased to hear that this morning in the parking garage I saw this oil stain on the ground that was shaped just like my ex-girlfriend, Lucy, and I didn't get upset at all.
Howard: I'm proud of you.
Raj: Well, you should be, 'cause she was looking good.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Dear Lord, you're an astronomer. Although you may have earthly woes, get your mind back on the stars. Gee, even the lowly dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating feces, living in feces and making little balls out of feces, so, you know, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: (on the phone) Howie, stop. I can't talk like that. Amy's right here.
Amy: (on the phone) Sheldon, stop. For the last time, I will not bring home bed bugs.
Bernadette: The hotel's nice. There's a pool, a gym, the bar looks like fun.
Amy: Because I looked in the bed, and there are no bugs.
Bernadette: Aw, I love you, too. If I don't talk to you before you go to sleep, I'll meet you in dreamland.
Amy: Good night. No, I will not consider sleeping in my garment bag.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Why don't you just admit you only want to play this game because you always play it with Leonard and you miss him?
Sheldon: You overestimate his significance in my life. Do I miss how he makes a face on my toaster waffle with syrup? No. Do I miss the way he fixes the zipper on my jacket when it gets stuck? I don't think so. Do I miss how we say good night to each other through the walls of our bedroom using Morse code? (taps out "no" in morse code)

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: By the way, how are you with zippers?
Penny: Why?
Sheldon: Well, I really need to go to the bathroom, and this ones gone all cattywampus.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Check it out. Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here. She's probably on the lookout for sexual harassment.
Raj: Oh, great. There go my chances of being sexually harassed.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: I was thinking of going to the lecture on posterior cingulate cortex lesions in the formation of autobiographical memory.
Amy: Oh, brain lesions are fascinating. Unless they're yours, then they're a drag. Bernadette: To the advancement of science.
Amy: And to the sick and dying who make it possible.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Well, it sounds like you're saying that I could do better than Sheldon.
Bernadette: Boy, these drinks are strong. Oh mama, I'm gonna be huggin' the toilet tonight.
Amy: No, tell me, I want to know what you meant by that.
Bernadette: I just meant that you're not married and your boyfriend's kind of, Sheldon.
Amy: And your husband is extremely Howard.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I can't believe it. All this time I've been doing nothing but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is?
Sheldon: That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka?
Penny: No. Yeah.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Allow me to comfort you. At least you've got your health.
Penny: Really? That, that's it? That's comforting?
Sheldon: Um, uh, in a hundred years, you'll both be dead and it won't matter?
Penny: No. Come on, you're supposed to say, "Of course he misses you, the only reason he's partying is to cover up his pain."
Sheldon: Oh, no, I don't think that's true at all.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: This is ridiculous. Why am I upset just because hes off having a good time?
Sheldon: Well, perhaps you're obsessively picturing him engaged in drunken coitus with another woman. Is that it? Did I get it right?
Penny: Okay, that- that's great. You can stop trying to make me feel better now.
Sheldon: Actually, I can't. Before Leonard left, he made me promise that I'd take care of you.
Penny: He did?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Oh, that's really sweet.
Sheldon: Plus, if I do a good job, he said he'd bring me back a Sailor's cap.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I'd like to apologize for being insensitive. And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks, because 99% of them are stand-up guys.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Here is a hot beverage to comfort you. It's in a to-go cup. Make of that what you will.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, look, here's something people do not know about me. When I first moved out to L.A., I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie about a killer gorilla. Ugh, after I did it, I felt so ashamed. Thankfully, that thing never came out.
Sheldon: I've seen that. Yeah. "Serial Apeist". Howard found it online the day we met you.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: And it was literally the moment you walked out the door.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment.
Raj: There was.
Howard: There wasn't. But even if there was, what are you gonna do about it?
Raj: I will slowly seduce her until she falls helpless into my bed, hungry for the pleasure only I can give her.
Howard: So nothing.
Raj: No, not a thing.

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