Quotes from ‘The Deception Verification’

The Deception Verification

'The Deception Verification' - Season 7, Episode 2

Sheldon is distraught when Leonard returns from his expedition early but doesn't tell him. Meanwhile, Howard's close relationship with his mother causes his masculinity to be called into question.

Air Date: September 26, 2013.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Careful, Amy. The friend of the enemy's girlfriend is my enemy.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: You're either with me or against me.
Amy: You wanna take the bus to work?
Sheldon: Maybe there's a third option.

Quote from Amy

Amy: What does tweepodoc mean?
Sheldon: Elephant?
Amy: Lucky guess.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Leonard: I didn't make it back. The ship sank. I'm in Hell.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: Please don't take my looking forward to Leonard coming home as criticism of you in his absence. That criticism will come later in your report card.
Penny: Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention. I'm not going to read the report card.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That's curious. If there's no one here, why are there two glasses of wine on the table?
Penny: Oh, well you know. I've got two hands and a bit of a drinking prolbem.
Sheldon: Of course. Ask a silly question.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Penny, it's your lucky day. Three of these eggs are clearly not jumbo size. Grab your keys!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Stuart, I was wondering if you can help me find something.
Stuart: Happy to, unless it's hope or a reason to live?
Sheldon: Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Aquaman? This isn't a gag gift, Stuart.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: No I should apologize. I never realized to what extent our friendship was a burden to you.
Leonard: That is not fair. I complain about what a burden it is at least once a month.
Sheldon: No, no, no. Let's not sugarcoat this. You find me finnicky, pedantic and annoying.
Penny: No, he doesn't.
Leonard: I have actually used those exact words before. In that order.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I'm definitely up a cup size.
Raj: Yeah, but they're firm. So you've got that going for you.
Howard: Thanks, I needed that today.

Quote from Raj

Howard: This man (Raj), held my breast the other day and I love him for it.
Raj: A little loud, dude.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Since when can Koothrappali talk in front of the girls without a beer?
Bernadette: Oh, it happened just after you left.
Leonard: And no one told me?
Howard: (Emotionally) I can't believe we forgot to tell him.
Penny: *Hands Howard the Vagisil coupon* Think of Sheldon when you apply it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I let you buy feminine hygiene products with my supermarket clubcard. Do you have any idea the kind of coupons I'm going to get in the mail now?

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Howie, the estrogen is getting absorbed by your skin. That's why you've been all bloated, moody and a giant pain in the ass.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I'm going to hit the head. That's what us salty sea dogs say when we have to go pee-pee.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You say you're from New Jersey, but how do I know?
Leonard: Who would lie about being from New Jersey?

Quote from Amy

Amy: FYI, I had a donut for breakfast, you jerk.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm quite familiar with plumbing. Not to brag, but I spent most of fifth grade with my head in a toilet.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Have you got Leonard a welcome home gift?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you want to go halfsies on a $200 squirt gun?

Quote from Penny

Amy: He's mad at you, too. He says you're the succubus who led his friend astray.
Penny: I don't know what succubus is, but it has "suck" in it so that can't be good.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: If my apples are mealy, we can hit the supermarket for one last blowout. I'll even let you push the trolley.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This (Sailor's Hat) changes nothing. Except the Halloween costume I'm wearing this year. Amy, you're going to be Olive Oyl. Lay off the donuts.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: There was obvious someone else in her apartment. I have no choice but to assume the worst, given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and Penny's famously ravenous nether regions.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Well, Leonard, I think it's high time we address the tweepadoc in the room.
Leonard: The what?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: This is me doing the Titanic pose on the boat. ... Oh, that's me getting rescued when I fell in.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: No, no. You save your apologies for after you've had disappointing coitus with Penny.

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