Quotes from ‘The Proton Displacement’

The Proton Displacement

'The Proton Displacement' - Season 7, Episode 7

When Sheldon's idol, Professor Proton, seeks Leonard's help for a science paper instead of his, Sheldon gets his revenge by befriending rival science icon Bill Nye. Meanwhile, Raj is jealous when Howard starts crashing girls' night.

Air Date: November 7, 2013.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Quote from Leonard

Professor Proton: Can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Yeah, sure.
Professor Proton: Why do you put up with Sheldon?
Leonard: Oh, you know because we're friends.
Professor Proton: Why?
Leonard: Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but what you have to remember is he's not doing it on purpose, it's just how he is. But he's also loyal and trustworthy and we have fun together.
Professor Proton: You know you're describing a dog?
Leonard: He did bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.
Professor Proton: They hate that.
Leonard: Sheldon is the smartest person I have met. He's a little broken and he needs me. And I guess I need him too.
Professor Proton: Why is that?
Leonard: Boy, you will not let this go, will you?

Quote from Amy

Amy: (Talking about Howard & Raj) They are going to have sex before Sheldon and I do. I knew it!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Ooh, Gasex has a new ultra-strength. I guess they really do read their mail.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Hey, isn't that Professor Proton?
Leonard: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Look at him just standing in line, like he wasn't moderately famous thirty years ago.
Sheldon: Let's go say hello.
Leonard: Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.
Sheldon: I'm not going to bother him. I'm going to talk to him.
Leonard: He thinks there's a difference.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Arthur! Arthur, it's me, Sheldon Cooper.
Professor Proton: Trust me, I remember.
Sheldon: This is television legend, Arthur Jeffries. His science show inspired millions of children.
Professor Proton: Hold on, you have a girlfriend?
Amy: Yes, and I've heard so much about you. Hey look, we're wearing the orthopaedic shoes. I can't believe I dress like a celebrity.
Professor Proton: Okay, I get it now.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Excuse me, I happen to be very comfortable with my masculinity.
Howard: How is that possible?

Quote from Penny

Amy: How do you not know how to use glue? Did you ditch pre-school?
Penny: Yeah, but only because I was dating a second-grader.

Quote from Sheldon

Professor Proton: Sheldon, what are you doing here?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, did I wake you?
Professor Proton: Of course you woke me, it's seven thirty.

Quote from Professor Proton

Bill Nye: Wow, Arthur Jeffries. It's an honor to meet you. My show would never have happened without yours.
Professor Proton: That's what I told my lawyers.

Quote from Amy

Amy: This is fun. I'm gonna feel like a vixen wearing jewellery that doesn't have a list of medications I'm allergic to.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

Leonard: Dr. Jeffries, hello again. Leonard Hofstadter.
Professor Proton: Oh, right. I remember your girlfriend. *Looking around* Is she here?

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Come on, he's a retired kids show host.
Sheldon: That's even worse. Using the sweet candy of science to trick children into loving him. ... Pervert.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but for some reason your home isn't on this map of Hollywood stars.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Look who's here to put the Jew in Jewellery night.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: So what tools did you bring?
Howard: Everything we need to make jewellery moulds. Here's some silver, a crucible, and an acetylene torch to melt it down.
Penny: Ooh, that looks fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move onto fire.

Quote from Raj

Raj: There are just some things I feel more comfortable sharing with the girls. Because they won't make fun of me, or call me names, or ask me if my Koothrapanties are in a bunch.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: (To Penny) So, you have any single grandmothers?
Penny: Sorry, they're both married.
Professor Proton: Good. .... Happily?

Quote from Leonard

Amy: I've never seen him (Sheldon) this happy before.
Leonard: That's because you've never seen him on "Restock the Medicine Cabinet" day.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: And to think I idolized that man. And why? At the end of the day, he's just another Hollywood phoney.
Amy: Is it really worth getting upset about?
Sheldon: They say don't meet your heroes. Don't peek behind that curtain of fame and celebrity. Because if you do, you'll see them as they really are: degenerate carnival folk.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: Sheldon, in a couple of hours I have to get up, pee and then wander around the house.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I was going to make a necklace for my mom but unfortunately she doesn't have a neck. She's just chins and fat and feet.

Quote from Professor Proton

Leonard: Okay, we're almost ready to go. Once we bond the wires, we can test the tubes.
Professor Proton: This is so exciting. I feel like I'm seventy-five again.

Quote from Raj

Raj: *Imitating Howard* My name is Howard. I can make your hair into diamonds. My mom is morbidly obese. Everyone love me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, if you're hoping to get in touch with Bill Nye, I can't help you. I have been informed he is now Bill Nye, the Restraining Order Guy.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: I was thinking if it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to get your opinion about my paper.
Sheldon: Thank you, it would be an honor.
*Professor Proton hands Sheldon his paper*
Sheldon: Actually, I don't need that. I hacked into your email account and read it.
Professor Proton: What did you think?
Sheldon: First, I think the fact you use your birthday as a password is embarrassing.
Professor Proton: Thank you.
Sheldon: Second, I thought your paper was inspired.
Professor Proton: Well that means a lot to me.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Can I invite you in for tea?
Professor Proton: No, I really have to run .
*Penny walks in the room*
Penny: Hey Arthur, how are you?
Professor Proton: Well I guess one cup wouldn't hurt.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Mr. Nye, hello. I'm sorry he got you involved in this nonsense.
Bill Nye: He told me I'd be speaking to a class.
Sheldon: No, I said you were teaching someone a lesson.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: So what prescription are you getting filled?
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: No wait, I want to guess. Don't tell me.
Professor Proton: I wasn't going to tell you.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: No, wait. I'm really good at this. Give me a hint. Does it involve difficulty initiating a stream of anything?
Professor Proton: Well, given my age, that's more than just a lucky guess.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Have you ever wondered why Arthur didn't want you to read his paper?
Sheldon: Yes, I have. And my only conclusion is the prescription he was picking up the other day was for cuckoo pills.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's been pointed out by my girlfriend that I may have been annoying to you.
Professor Proton: She sounds like a keeper.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Now that you and I are friends again, I am at your disposal. And frankly, lending my name and reputation to it will help. Because a lot of people think you're a washed up has-been ... or dead.
Professor Proton: I should be so lucky.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: If someone had told me people would still call me Professor Proton when I was eighty-three years old, I never would have quit smoking.

Quote from Professor Proton

Bill Nye: What are you guys working on?
Leonard: We're making nano-vacuum tubes.
Bill Nye: Interesting.
Professor Proton: Haven't you stolen enough from? Back off bow-tie!

Quote from Leonard

*Leonard's phone vibrates*
Leonard: Oh, God.
Professor Proton: What is it?
Leonard: Sheldon just sent me a picture of him and Bill Nye getting smoothies.

Quote from Professor Proton

Leonard: Oh, gees.
Professor Proton: Another photo from Sheldon?
Leonard: No, I have to go pick him up. Bill Nye ditched him at the smoothie place.
Professor Proton: He probably stole his wallet too.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Arthur, I'm surprised to see your here.
Professor Proton: Yeah, me too. Somewhere around the third floor I began to see a white light.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: As it happens, I'm also spending the day with a beloved children's science personality. Isn't that right, new friend and colleague Bill Nye, the Science Guy?
Sheldon: Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.

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