Quotes from ‘The Relationship Diremption’

The Relationship Diremption

'The Relationship Diremption' - Season 7, Episode 20

Sheldon has had enough of string theory after twenty fruitless years in the field. Meanwhile, Howard is embarrassed when Raj and his girlfriend Emily have a double date with him and Bernadette.

Air Date: April 10, 2014.

Quote from Howard

Raj: We have to go over some ground rules about Emily.
Howard: Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything?
Raj: She's very real.
Howard: That's what it says on the box. Right next to dishwasher safe.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: How's dating two women going?
Raj: Umm, kinda hit a bump. When I was honest and told Emily she wasn't the only person I was seeing, it went great. So I tried the same thing with Lucy.
Howard: And?
Raj: She had mixed feelings. But when I said "Emily was cool with it, Emily's the best, why can't you be more like Emily?", those feelings became less mixed.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (on Stephen Hawking's voice mail) I kiss girls now.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sorry I'm late. (Sees Sheldon's new hair style) What did you do?
Penny: I gave him a new look. Cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick?
Sheldon: (Looks in a mirror) She's right, I'm too hot.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *Knocks Knock Knock* Empty room (x3). If somebody answers, I'm going to freak out.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What's wrong with geology?
Sheldon: Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well geology is the Kardashians of science.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Come on. Let's get you to bed. You've had a lot to drink.
Sheldon: No more than Penny.
Amy: That's what I'm saying.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: This maybe the biggest scientific breakthrough of our life time. How can you as a theoretical physicist not care about this?
Sheldon: Maybe it's because I'm not an elitist. What I'd like to know is how does this gravity wave breakthrough help the man on the street? Who's looking out for Joe six-pack and all his quantum physics concerns?

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: I'm excited to meet Emily.
Howard: I just hope he doesn't blow it.
Bernadette: Why would you say that?
Howard: Because he's Raj. That's his thing. Beckham can bend it. Ralph can wreck it. Raj can blow it.

Quote from Raj

Howard: I promise I'll be on my best behavior.
Raj: You better be. No jokes about how close I am with my dog. Or the truth about how close I am with my dog.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I hope I can meet her as soon as possible.
Raj: Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere.
Howard: Oh, she is. But I like that attitude!

Emily: Oh my God I remember.
Howard: Can I finish my astronaut story?
Emily: It was four years ago
Howard: Please don't say it.
Emily: We were set up on a blind date.
Howard: Please don't say it.
Emily: You came to my apartment.
Howard: You're saying it.
Raj: What happened?
Howard: Okay, I'll say it. I was on the way to pick her up and my stomach felt a little funny. When I got there I asked if I could use her bathroom.
Bernadette: Please don't say it.
Howard: One roll of toilet paper and twenty minutes later, I was so humiliated I snook out the window and never saw her again.
Emily: You know what else I never saw again? My security deposit.
Howard: I'm so sorry. I tried to unclog it but you didn't have a plunger and water was spilling out everywhere.
Emily: Right, just water.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep.
Penny: I told you those Walking Dead pillows were a bad idea.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It suggests I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: As hard as this is I have to move on. I can't keep postulating multi-dimensional entities and get nothing in return. I have needs too!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Why do we have a geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?

Quote from Penny

Penny: How about we toast your new found freedom?
Sheldon: Normally I refrain from alcohol, but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs. Why not soak it in grape juice that's been predigested by a fungus?
Penny: And you wonder why other children beat you with books. Cheers!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally none of it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boyband. Of course I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one.

Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: I need some fresh air.
Emily: Been there!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I've had a lot on my plate. We happen to live in a golden age of television.

Quote from Barry Kripke

Barry Kripke: Excuse me, fellas. Sorry for eavesdropping, but there actually was some big string theory news out of the Hadron Collider.
Sheldon: Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or super-symmetry?
Barry Kripke: No, but they did find evidence you'll believe anything

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I get it. I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something and get nothing out of it.
Sheldon: You mean your acting career?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Your relationship with Leonard?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Your failed attempt to go back to college?
Penny: No!

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Do you think he's right? Am I wasting my life on a theory that can't be proved?
Howard: Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones?

Bernadette: How's your soup?
Howard: It's all right. They could have filled the bowl a little more.
*Raj and Emily start laughing*

Quote from Barry Kripke

Sheldon: Why would you do that? You're a string theorist as well.
Barry Kripke: Incorrect. I'm a string pragmatist. I say I'm going to prove something that can not be proved. I apply for grant money and then I spend it on liquor and broads.

Quote from Raj

Emily: It's fine. All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla.
Raj: Get it? Because you clogged up her bathroom like a radioactive monster.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, it's not like cotton candy comes out of you.

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