Quotes from ‘The Proton Transmogrification’

The Proton Transmogrification

'The Proton Transmogrification' - Season 7, Episode 22

Professor Proton delivers Sheldon a lesson in coping with grief. Meanwhile, a reflective Leonard and Penny get competitive with proposals to change their relationship. Elsewhere, Amy and Bernadette work on a "Star Wars Day" gift for the guys.

Air Date: May 1, 2014.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: I know why. You've come to me because you're my Obi-Wan.
Arthur: I'm not familiar with that. Is that an Internet?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Oh, I get it. Like C-3PO. ... What happened to me?

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I got into science because I was always the smallest kid in the school. I thought if I became a scientist I could invent a formula that made me taller.
Amy: That's cute.
Bernadette: I thought it was working for a while, but then I found out my brother was just lowering the pencil marks on the door frame.

Quote from Raj

Howard: You sure? Not even coffee? We have R2-Decaf. Maybe a nice Cafe au Leah.
Raj: And if you're not in the mood for coffee, I can always make you a Chai Tea-3PO.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Why're you being so quiet? You upset or are you just rebooting?

Quote from Penny

Penny: And this is also not the right time. Do not propose.
Leonard: What?!
Penny: I know that face. That's your proposed face.

Quote from Professor Proton

Arthur: Just make sure you appreciate those who are still there for you.
Sheldon: But I do appreciate them.

Quote from Professor Proton

Arthur: Where are we?
Sheldon: This is the swampland of Dagobah. It's where Luke was trained in the ways of the Jedi.
Arthur: Oh, too bad. I thought it was Florida.

Quote from Professor Proton

Arthur: Is this the first time you've lost someone close to you?
Sheldon: Oh, no. I've already had to say goodbye to eleven Doctor Whos.
Arthur: Yeah, I've outlived a few of my doctors, too.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: We'll be right back after I fire my writers.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: We were hoping it might cheer you up.
Bernadette: And even though it meant we had to miss the movies, we could still be part of the fun.
Howard: Oh, you didn't miss anything. We just started over.
Bernadette: Son of a bitch.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny: No. He blew up the death star. ... Why do I know this?

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Anyway, it'll be a nice surprise for the boys. And Howie doesn't think I take his interests seriously, so hopefully this will keep him fooled for a while.

Quote from Professor Proton

Arthur: This is weird. Most of my robes open in the back.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: Did you watch Professor Proton when you were a kid?
Bernadette: No. My dad controlled the TV, so unless someone was a Texas Ranger, Jake or the Fat Man, we didn't see it.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: You're back.
Arthur: Yeah, apparently I'm here whenever you need me.
Sheldon: That's nice.
Arthur: Maybe for you.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Arthur passing away was harder on Sheldon than he's ready to admit. I'm really hoping this will cheer him up.
Bernadette: Me too. Although it might have been thoughtless of us to bake a Death Star cake.
Amy: No, it combines two of Sheldon's favorite things: chocolate chips and the ability to destroy a planet at the touch of a button.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: May the force be with you. Get it?
Penny: Oh no, this face wasn't because I didn't get it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm working on the Star Wars day schedule. Now, I have a window built in, after Phantom Menace, for complaining. But I'm worried an hour won't be enough time.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Leonard: Comforting you.
Sheldon: Your heart might be in the right place, but your head, chest and arms certainly aren't.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Watching your old friend?
Sheldon: Yes. Look at him, Amy. It's such a shame. Struck down in the prime of my life.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy, mourning the inevitable is a complete waste of time.
Amy: And watching a bunch of goofy space movies you've seen a hundred times isn't?
Sheldon: If we were in a physical relationship, you've just lost sex tonight.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Arthur Jeffries was a scientist. I'm sure he didn't care about stupid superstitions like funerals. If he were here, I think he'd say "Enjoy Star Wars day".
Leonard: He was eighty-four. He'd say "Where's my pudding?"

Quote from Penny

Raj: Before you go, at least let me pack you some Attack of the Scones for the road.
Penny: Ohh, like Attack of the Clones. ... We are leaving right now!

Quote from Professor Proton

Arthur: It's fantastic. This is the longest I've gone without running into a men's room in years.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Why are you here?
Arthur: I don't know. I was hoping I was going to haunt my ex-wife.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Why do I need you now?
Arthur: Well, as near as I can tell. You fell asleep watching Star Wars and now you're dreaming you're watching Star Wars.
Sheldon: So?
Arthur: Don't you see a problem there? How you're spending your limited time on earth?
Sheldon: Not at all.
Arthur: Okay. Good luck to you.

Quote from Professor Proton

Arthur: Appreciate them, Sheldon.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: This is pretty cool. You don't see too many spherical cakes.
*The cake rolls off the table*
Amy: I wonder why that is.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: When Obi-Wan came to Luke on this very spot, he gave him all sorts of helpful advice. So what have you got for me?
Arthur: Uhmm ... Always get a pre-nup.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: This is something interesting, boys and girls. After an owl eats, he spits up part of his meal, that he can't digest, in the form of a pellet. Isn't that a hoot?

Quote from Leonard

Penny: You're a big cry baby. You start, I'll join in.
Leonard: I am not a cry baby.
Penny: Toy Story 3.
Leonard: The toys were holding hands in a furnace!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wow. You're dead, so I'm going to let that slide.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: How did that get you into science?
Amy: Oh, I went to the library and took out a book on biology to see what whores did.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Sounds like someone wants to spend the rest of their life telling people how to spell the name Hofstadter.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Since we all agree Episode 1 isn't our favorite, why not just skip it this time?
Sheldon: Howard, I think you of all people should avoid espousing the principle that if something is not our favorite we should just get rid of it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, I'm not going to the funeral.
Amy: Why not?
Sheldon: All those people blowing their noses. You can't tell the sick from the sad.

Quote from Penny

Raj: Hey, Penny. Happy Star Wars day!
Penny: Okay.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Can I make you breakfast? Admiral Ackbar's Snack Bar is open for business!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Thank you for being the emotional one in this relationship.
Leonard: I got your back

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know Klingon.
Leonard: That's true.
Penny: No, I meant that as a regret.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: The funeral's on Sunday.
Sheldon: But that's Star Wars day.
Leonard: Yeah. Off all the things about this that are sad, that might not be number one.

Quote from Professor Proton

Leonard: The guys are about to start Jedi. Do you want to go watch?
Sheldon: I do. After I make them go back and watch 1 through 5.
Leonard: That will take all night.
Sheldon: That's true. Good thing I had that nap.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I've just never known anyone that died. I had a pet pig when I was a kid. When he died we didn't have a funeral, we had a barbecue.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Maybe we should see how he's doing. ... But after the Cantina scene?
Howard: Obviously.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: So, what did you think of your first funeral?
Penny: I don't want to be a jerk but it was kind of a bummer.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I'm fine.
Leonard: Okay ... and yet he cried when they changed the Raisin Bran box.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I think he's taking this Professor Proton thing pretty hard.
Raj: Should we try to console him?
Howard: Or should we respect his privacy in this moment of grief?
Raj: By staying here and watching the movie?
Howard: That's what good friends would do!

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Look at Arthur cracking up at a joke I made. I'll never hear that joke again.
Arthur: You never heard it that time.

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