Sheldon: I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22nd, 2007. Two days later, Penny moved in and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.

Amy: But enough about Penny, let's talk about us. We're looking good.
Bernadette: We are.
Amy: Better than good. I mean look at you, your body's bangin'.
Bernadette: Amy!
Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those hadron colliders?

Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps?
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress?

Leonard: Penny is not the reason I did not pursue that idea.
Sheldon: Oh really? Since meeting her, what have been your greatest accomplishments?
Raj: Easy. Sleeping with Penny.
Howard: Getting Penny to go back out with him after she dumped him.
Raj: Tricking Penny into getting engaged.
Howard: And a few weeks ago he almost did a pull-up!

Leonard: It wasn't until his twenty-first birthday that 1955 Biff placed his first bet.
Sheldon: Wow wow wow. Is 'placed' right?
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Is 'placed' the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future?
Leonard: 'Had will have placed'?
Sheldon: That's my boy.

Penny: That sounds great but I have a little more studying to do.
Amy: Can you believe this nerd?
Bernadette: Come on, do you want to sit here being a loser, or do you want to watch me climb into an Australian man's G-string like a baby kangaroo.

Howard: My cousin has a cabin out in the woods.
Sheldon: I'm not going to a cabin in the woods. Did you see the movie "Cabin in the Woods?"
Leonard: Fine, we'll go to a hotel.
Sheldon: A hotel? Did you see "The Shining"?
Raj: We could go up to Big Bear and get a house on the lake.
Sheldon: Did you see "The Lake House"?
Raj: Nothing bad happens in "The Lake House"!
Sheldon: Not to them. To me. Time travelling mail box. The only time that travels was the hour and a half of my life down the toilet.
Leonard: Fine, we'll just stay here and do it.
Sheldon: Wait, you didn't suggest a beach house.
Leonard: You would go to a beach house?
Sheldon: Well, good Lord no. Have you seen "Jaws"?

Howard: Hey, I didn't think you'd make it.
Raj: Why not?
Howard: Because you have a steady girlfriend now and we assumed you'd have to stay home to lower the food down to her in the pit.

Leonard: Wait, wait, is 'brought' right?
Sheldon: Marty never had have had brought?
Leonard: I don't know, you did it to me.

Sheldon: Wait, I'm confused. Why would you need both a robot girlfriend and a robot prostitute?
Howard: There's just some things you don't do with your robot girlfriend.
Raj: Boy, when you met Bernadette, the field of robotics really took a hit.

Sheldon: I remember it distinctly because I had just finished writing my poem commerating the anniversary of Dr. Seuss's death.
Howard: No one wants to hear it.
Sheldon: Why die? Why did he die? All told, I was told he was old.

Amy: Penny, let's go. We found a place that has Australian male strippers.
Bernadette: We want to see if they twirl their junk in the other direction.

Sheldon: Therefore, the timeline in which 1955 Biff gets the almanac is also the timeline in which 1955 Biff never gets the almanac. And not just never gets, never have, never hasn't, never had have hasn't.

Sheldon: Well, don't feel bad. I think we've all been distracted since the girls entered our lives.
Howard: You admit Amy's a distraction.
Sheldon: Oh very much so. Listen to this. This is from two days ago. "Hi, hope you're having a good day." Who has time for this constant sexting?

Penny: Well we're in Vegas. I want to go downstairs, get a bucket of margaritas, dance until I vomit all over a roulette wheel and watch it go everywhere.
Amy: What if we don't want to vomit?
Penny: Oh, you will. That's why they give you the bucket.

Bernadette: You're embarrassing me.
Amy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I'll show you the divot in my spine.
Bernadette: What?
Amy: No, it's okay. I was born with it. If you put a double A battery in there, it makes my leg kick.

Leonard: You guys, what are we doing? We sent the girls away so we could focus.
Sheldon: I don't think it worked.

Amy: Ooh, there's a cover band in the lounge.
Penny: Eh, no.
Amy: But they play Barry Manilow.
Penny: No.
Amy: But they're called Fairly Manilow.
Penny: Oh, okay.
Amy: Great!
Penny: No!

Raj: I have an idea.
Sheldon: I think I have the same one.
Howard: We've got to watch Back to the Future II.
Raj: I'll make the pop corn.

Leonard: We keep procrastinating. We saw Back to the Future II, pigeons playing ping pong, a bunch of countries that look like genitals, and one guy whose genitals look like Denmark!
Raj: Yeah, sorry for clicking on that.

Bernadette: Have you ever seen a body so fine?
Amy: We had some pretty hot corpses in my anatomy class but none of them moved like that.

Howard: I can't argue with him, it's right there on the screen. Austria does look like a wiener.
Raj: That's nothing. Dude, go check out how hung Florida is.
Leonard: I'm sure Mrs. Florida's walking funny.