Quotes from ‘The Space Probe Disintegration’

The Space Probe Disintegration

The Space Probe Disintegration
Season 8, Episode 12 - Aired January 8, 2015

When Penny and Amy feel Leonard and Sheldon force them to embrace their interests but never return the courtesy, the girls take Sheldon and Leonard along when they go clothes shopping. Meanwhile, Howard tries to occupy Raj, who is nervously awaiting the results of a space probe he helped launch.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sheldon, we know this is a sensitive subject, and Leonard's not going to move out until you're ready.
Sheldon: What if you did it gradually?
Leonard: All right, how about we start with two nights a week I live with Penny?
Sheldon: How about one night and I let you whistle?
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: When I'm not home.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Are you okay?
Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.
Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there. It's itchy when it grows back.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Amy: Yeah, but it's okay.
Penny: How is it okay?
Amy: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Ooh, we could go horseback riding.
Amy: I actually can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump I just popped right off.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: You work in pharmaceuticals. Don't you have anything you can give him?
Bernadette: All I have is our new urine flow drug. Won't help with his anxiety, but it's so strong, when he pees he'll fly around the room like he's got a jet pack.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience or waiting, or just another reminder that you went to space?
Howard: A story can do two things.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Why are there tears?
Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements.
Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk!
Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him.

Quote from Raj

Howard: So in addition to being crazy, you're resting the weight of the mission on your athletic prowess?
Raj: Yes.
Howard: The man who crashed his stationary bike?
Raj: I didn't crash it, okay? My playlist was too up tempo, I got light headed and I fell off.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Seriously, you were just gonna drive away? Like my life isn't hard enough right now? A space probe might be destroyed. My parents are going through an awful divorce. The guy who cuts my dog's hair just gave her bangs.
Howard: Raj!
Raj: You saw her. She looks like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: He were go, compromising again. We really are the best.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You're mean to me a lot. You think I don't notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Not really a great outfit for work. Unless something opens up in the Hookers & Whores department.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: This isn't so bad.
Sheldon: That's easy for you to say. Your chair isn't facing the lingerie section. Boy that's a lot of panties.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't understand why women insist on making a big production about buying clothes.
Penny: You're right. We should do what you do, have our mom send us pants from the Wal-Mart in Houston.
Sheldon: They have a man there who understands my personal style.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: That is not a compromise. A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how.
Sheldon: Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me.
Leonard: What?! Then why don't you do it?
Sheldon: Well, it's scary, and sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can't take that away from you, so what do I do? Come on, I'm practically feeding you the answer. I compromise.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What kind of store in the 21st century doesn't at least have WiFi? I'm gonna call their corporate office.
Son of a biscuit!

Quote from Raj

Howard: Now we get to see him flip out because he's worried that it was demolished by space ice.
Raj: Space ice is no joke. I can't even watch Frozen any more.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. If there's one thing I know after living with you all these years, it's how to compromise.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I'm surprised to see you suddenly get religious.
Raj: Why?
Howard: Because I've known you for ten years, and you've never gone to temple. You've never talked about believing in God. And last Diwali, I watched you eat two pounds of sacred cow at a Brazilian steak house.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What do you say? It sounds kinda perfect.
Penny: It does, but somehow he managed to take all the fun out of it.
Sheldon: Once again, it's what I do.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Interesting. We're being accused of making you do things you don't like, and here you are doing the same thing to poor Amy.
Sheldon: You should point out the hypocrisy of that.
Leonard: That's what I was doing.
Sheldon: Oh, that was wasn't clear. Do it again but this time drive it home with, "how do you like them apples, missy?"

Quote from Amy

Penny: We watch movies with director's commentary.
Amy: Oh, my favorite. George Lucas can talk through the entire movie but I say one word and I'm banished to the kitchen.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know what you could make us do? Ice skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard's asthma, and it plays into my well known fear of getting flattened by a zamboni.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: I thought this was gonna be boring but it's actually kinda fun.
Penny: Don't tell Amy that; we'll be here every Sunday.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Ooh, the Philharmonic is playing Beethoven down town.
Sheldon: Before you say yes, it's not the movie about the big dog.

Quote from Raj

Howard: It's not like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, right? Some bald guy with horns isn't going to rip my heart out?
Raj: Dude, that movie's an imperialist fantasy that makes the followers of a beautiful and peaceful religion look like a bunch of blood thirsty barbarians.
Howard: You love that movie.
Raj: Yeah, it's pretty great.

Quote from Howard

Howard: As a scientist you believe the way to understand the universe is through facts and evidence. And now you're counting on some blue chick with a hundred arms to help you?
Raj: That is so offensive. Does everything you know about Hinduism come from Indiana Jones?
Howard: No, there's also Apu from The Simpsons.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Is there anything I should know before I go in?
Raj: Like what?
Howard: Like am I dressed okay?
Raj: Really? So every other place you've been, you thought this was fine?

Quote from Penny

Leonard: I did not force you to go to that.
Penny: You left the house in a fez and a bow tie. I went so you wouldn't get beat up.
Leonard: I wasn't going to get beat up.
Penny: You were but somehow I held myself back.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you? No other reason. Just you.
Sheldon: Is that true?
Leonard: Yes, it's true. The last time I brought it up, you had an emotional breakdown, got on a train, and ran away.

Quote from Penny

Penny: There's got to be something fun we can do that the guys will hate.
Leonard: Hang on, why do we have to hate it?
Penny: Three words: Doctor Who convention.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh well, there were plenty of ways to pass the time before smart phones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: *Goes to grab phone* Son of a biscuit!

Quote from Raj

Raj: It all comes down to this.
(Raj shoots bottle in a trash can)
Howard: You happy? Now you can relax.
Raj: What kind of a scientist are you?! Everyone knows you've got to make two out of three!