Quotes from ‘The Opening Night Excitation’

The Opening Night Excitation

'The Opening Night Excitation' - Season 9, Episode 11

After more than five years of dating, Sheldon and Amy spend their first night together. Also, Leonard, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali must decide who will take their extra Star Wars movie ticket.

Air Date: December 17, 2015.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny!
Bernadette: What happens if I say come in?
Penny: Well, find out.
Bernadette: Come in!
Sheldon: (silence)
(3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette!
Penny: Come in!
Sheldon: Keep it up. I've got nowhere else to be.
Bernadette: Just come in.
Sheldon: For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll just stream it on Netflix.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Then it's settled. Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl!

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Okay, let's just recap our options. We've got harp thing, sheep thing-
Bernadette: Wild thing.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, I should probably tell you something about this gift.
Amy: You mean, before you give it to me?
Sheldon: Yes. But may I ask you a question before I give it to you?
Amy: Of course.
Sheldon: Why are we saying give it to you like that?

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: Oh, great, this again.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
Amy: Me too!
Sheldon: I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again!
Amy: That works for me.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch her on her birthday.
Leonard: I think Penny has a point. You can see it another day.
Sheldon: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Amy's birthday for me. Surprise, she's even older. Who saw that coming?
Penny: Aww, that's nice. Put that on her cake.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, this is different. Candles and music.
Amy: Do you like it?
Sheldon: It's kind of spooky.
Amy: I can change it back.
Sheldon: No, it's your birthday. As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask, I'll be fine.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, what's wrong?
Sheldon: I wanted to let you know I'll be spending your birthday with you.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: See, I had tickets to the Star Wars premiere that night, but Professor Proton came to me in a dream, dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and convinced me that I should be with you.
Amy: Obi-what?
Sheldon: I'll let you get back to sleep now. Good night.
Amy: Good night. Uh, Sheldon, were you actually not going to spend my birthday with me?
Sheldon: (feigning sleepiness) It's late, gotta go, bye.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, I know your present is for us to be intimate tonight.
Sheldon: I see. Is that all right?
(Amy kisses Sheldon)
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but this is a litigious society. I'm going to need verbal consent.
Amy: Yes!

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: Come on, it could be romantic. The two of them away together, keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, no. She'd be going alone. If you think I'm scared of birds, you should see me around sheep.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Well, what's the third option?
Sheldon: That I have coitus with her.
(Penny's wine glass smashes in her hand)

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: Why isn't it ever Angie Dickinson's bedroom?

Quote from Penny

Raj: I can't believe Sheldon gave this up.
Leonard: I know. We're gonna have so much more fun than him.
Bernadette: No, they're not.
Penny: Knowing them, they will.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Sorry I'm late. I also got you a balloon, but it floated away and I chased it for a while.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Guys, tickets already went on sale.
Sheldon: What?
Howard: They're not supposed to be available yet.
Leonard: I don't know what to tell you, but they're already available.
Raj: Wait, are you sure they're Star Wars tickets?
Leonard: No, it's Steel Magnolias 2: Even Steelier.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: How about something a little more realistic?
Sheldon: Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters, so I was thinking of getting her an all expenses-paid trip to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.
Penny: (Silence) Sorry, I was waiting for the Bazinga!

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Moviegoer: Star Trek stinks!
Wil Wheaton: Yeah? Live long and suck it!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, this goes against everything I stand for, but desperate times call for desperate measures. (Kneels down to pray) Lord, this is Sheldon Cooper, you're good friends with my mom. I know I've spent my life denying that you exist-
Howard: Got them!
Sheldon: -and I will continue do so!

Quote from Raj

Raj: I don't think I can walk right now.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Great. And then maybe after, we can watch a dirty movie, and if I anybody has any questions about what happened or how, we can answer them.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Thursday can't get here soon enough. I'm taking off work to watch the original trilogy while I eat enough Star Wars cereal to choke a wookie.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sweetie, you do realize Thursday is Amy's birthday?
Sheldon: And you do realize I bought my ticket when Amy and I were broken up. I hope you didn't need anything in that case, because it's closed.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Which do you think she'll prefer? Because I checked the Sheep and Wool website and there's only 8,000 tickets left.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: No, not that. I understand the mechanics.
Professor Proton: Oh, good. Good. 'cause I have no idea what kids these days are calling their parts.
Sheldon: I think they say "junk."
Professor Proton: What is happening to this world?

Quote from Sheldon

Professor Proton: I was just curious. How'd it go?
Sheldon: It was amazing. I saw it a few days later. What a movie!
Professor Proton: What about Amy?
Sheldon: Oh, she liked it fine, but she doesn't have the history with the franchise like I do.
Professor Proton: Okay. Good talk.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This is my ticket to Star Wars. I don't need to tell you that it is worth far more than its face value of $15.50. I trust you'll give it to someone worthy.
(Sheldon hands the ticket to Leonard)
Leonard: You got it. Penny might want to join us-
(Sheldon yanks the ticket out of Leonard's hand and goes to Raj)
Sheldon: This is my ticket to Star Wars...

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I'm really happy that you and Amy are back together.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Leonard: I'm also really happy, but I can't pretend it's for you. New Star Wars in three days!

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Leonard: I'm really nervous.
Howard: I know. We've been waiting so long for this.
Raj: We've built it up in our heads so much.
Wil Wheaton: Guys, it's just a movie.
Leonard: That's true.
Howard: He's right.
Raj: It is.
Wil Wheaton: Although, we all remember Jar-Jar.
Raj: Leonard, I'm scared again.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Oh, Arthur, what brings you back?
Professor Proton: Beats me. I just hope this is not a sex dream.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: In the past, you've come to me when I was struggling with a dilemma.
Professor Proton: And the one time when you were afraid and you needed me for a night light.

Quote from Professor Proton

Sheldon: Where are you going?
Professor Proton: I don't know, but hopefully somewhere I can wear pants.

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: Okay. Once the man gets the woman out of her bloomers-

Quote from Penny

Raj: Tonight's the night!
Leonard: Yeah, the wait is finally over.
Penny: I know, then you'll finally stop talking about it.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Leonard: Uh, hey, Wil. What'cha doing?
Wil Wheaton: I was on Star Trek. I'm just rooting for the home team.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: So, what'd you have in mind for tonight?
Sheldon: I thought I could take you out to a nice birthday dinner. If we pick a place
east of here, we might find the balloon.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: So, if you don't like Star Wars, why are you here?
Wil Wheaton: Oh, I'm just having fun. Everyone takes Star Wars so seriously, like if the movie's bad it's going to ruin their lives.
Raj: Is it bad? Did you hear something? Oh my God, it's bad. Somebody kill me!

Quote from Leonard

Wil Wheaton: See, that's what I mean. When you wake up in the morning, whether this is the greatest movie ever or a total piece of crap, your life isn't going to change at all.
Howard: He's right.
Leonard: Yeah. No matter what happens, we're coming back tomorrow to watch it again.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Well, I'm going to stay positive. I told him what women liked and, after he stopped giggling, he seemed pretty sure of himself.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Thanks for taking me out.
Penny: Well, you're spending your birthday with Sheldon. Why not celebrate early?
Bernadette: So, where do you wanna go?
Amy: I hear that new Mexican place on Green St. is good.
Penny: Sure, sure. Or, we could take you to get a bikini wax.
Amy: Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday?
Penny: Oh, I don't know. It was just a thought.
Amy: I think I'll just stick to Mexican.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Thank you, Arthur. You are the wisest of the wise.
Professor Proton: Well, that's very nice of you to say, but I think I'm just an expression of your unconscious mind.
Sheldon: Oh, sure. Well, you're fun to look at.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Do you think Sheldon's actually going to go through with it?
Penny: I don't know. He said he's ready.
Bernadette: Yeah, but he also swore this was the year he'd be able to pull the guts out of a pumpkin.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Good for Sheldon, deciding to stay with Amy on her birthday.
Leonard: I know. It's still gonna be weird to see the movie without him.
Howard: We could wait a couple of days and see it together.
*All three laughing*

Quote from Professor Proton

Professor Proton: And can I get out of this mumu now?
Sheldon: Those are the robes of the Jedi, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.
Professor Proton: And they don't wear underwear.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Fine, take Wil. See if he brings you clam chowder.

Quote from Stuart

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
Stuart: My doctor's worried about my circulation so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: What do you think about giving Sheldon's ticket to Stuart?
Raj: I don't know. Have you ever seen a movie with Stuart before?
Howard: It's like going with your grandpa. Instead of eating popcorn, he brings little pieces of chicken in Tupperware and a Thermos full of soup.

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