Quotes from ‘The Viewing Party Combustion’

The Viewing Party Combustion

'The Viewing Party Combustion' - Season 9, Episode 21

Everyone must choose sides when a small argument between Leonard and Sheldon erupts into a heated fight during a group get-together.

Air Date: April 21, 2016.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn't like a party.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Really? The guy who for years couldn't even talk to women is suddenly going out with two of them? How is that possible?
Howard: I know. Scientists have tried to reproduce it with computational models, but, in each case, the world blows up.
Leonard: Seriously, that guy's dating two women?

Quote from Howard

Howard: I'm not sure if I'm hoping for a boy or a girl. I mean, if it's a boy, I'm gonna have to teach him to play catch. Which means I'm gonna have to Google how to play catch.

Quote from Raj

Howard: There you go again.
Raj: I'm sorry, have I been complaining about it too much?
Howard: Actually, what you're doing is pretending to complain, but really trying to brag.
Raj: How could you say that?
Howard: (imitating Raj) Oh, I wish could enjoy a cup of tea without a naked girl bouncing up and down on me.
Raj: I never said that.
Howard: (imitating Raj) Don't you hate it when you can't remember whose bra it is you found wedged in your couch?
Raj: Okay, that I said. But that's a real problem. You give a girl another woman's bra, and you will not be having sex with her that night. Maybe the other girl, but not her.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I was told this is where to go if I'm mad at Howard.
Penny: May I take your cloak?
Stuart: Thanks. This thing kept getting caught in the chain of my bike.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: So what happened with you and Howard?
Raj: Says I was talking too much about dating Claire and Emily, and I accused him of being jealous.
Stuart: I'm jealous. Closest I've come to dating two women was that time I dated one woman.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: All right, it's almost game time. Get it? Game of Thrones, game time?
Stuart: Two women, huh?

Quote from Stuart

Bernadette: Why are you dressed like that?
Stuart: Oh, uh, Howard thought it'd be funny to tell me it was a costume party.
Bernadette: That wasn't nice.
Stuart: No, but he almost died, so we're cool.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: You all right?
Howard: I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed I had to be carried down the stairs like a baby. (To Penny) Thanks.

Quote from Stuart

Raj (shouting from upstairs window): Hey, Jon Snow. How come your horse has a basket on it?
Stuart: How come your head has your face on it?
Sheldon: They don't wear bicycle helmets in Game of Thrones. You're thematically inaccurate, but I applaud your commitment to safety.
Stuart: Don't you guys have anything better to do?
Leonard: Better than watching a guy in a fur cloak ride a girl's bike? Nope.
Stuart: That's it, you just lost bathroom privileges at the comic book store.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I have a question about Batman. Batman is a man who dresses up like a bat. Man-bat is a part man, part bat hybrid. Now, if Man-Bat dressed up as a man to fight crime, would he be Man-Batman?
Leonard: No, he'd be Bat-Man-Bat.
Raj: But wouldn't Man-Batman just be a Batman that was bitten by a radioactive man?
Howard: But Batman is a man. You're talking about a man who would have the powers of a man. That's just Man-Man.
Sheldon: Well, isn't Man-Man just Man?
Leonard: But what if Man-Man dressed as a bat?
Raj: Well, that's just Batman.
Leonard: No, if a man dresses as a bat, that's Batman, but if Man-Man dresses as a bat, that's Batman-Man.
Howard: So does that answer your question?
Sheldon: Oh, I haven't asked it yet.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Oh, that's Claire. Got to run.
Leonard: I thought you were back with Emily.
Raj: Uh, actually I'm seeing both of them.
Leonard: You mean like through their window from behind a bush?

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: What, why did you get a party sub?
Leonard: People are coming over, it looked fun.
Sheldon: Well, we're only watching Game of Thrones. A party sub implies it's a party.
Leonard: Your attendance implies its not.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Of course, this will require a vote. Unfortunately, my official gavel is in my bedroom, but luckily I have my travel gavel.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Man, I'm worn out.
Howard: I know. Imagine if we were actually moving.
Raj: No, it's just, ever since I started dating Claire and Emily at the same time, it's exhausting.
Howard: You're exhausted? Try folding every five pages in a pregnancy book so your wife thinks you've read it.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hey, how's the mommy-to-be?
Bernadette: Good. A little tired.
Raj: I feel you. I've been dating multiple women.

Quote from Raj

Howard: You sure you don't want to come watch Game of Thrones with us?
Bernadette: You guys have fun. I'm just gonna snuggle up in bed with a book.
Raj: Oh, that sounds great, a bed to yourself. Can't even remember what that's like.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Uh-oh, somebody's still pouting.
Leonard: Leave me alone.
Penny: If it's because you lost a stick, I know where it went.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Well, I get why he's annoyed.
Sheldon: Well, then you don't understand what's happening. See, Leonard refused to participate in a mandatory quarterly roommate agreement meeting. This is what a generation raised on Bart Simpson looks like.
Leonard: You love The Simpsons.
Sheldon: I love Lisa Simpson.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Well, I know how he feels. I never enjoyed our relationship agreement meetings.
Sheldon: Wait. You were pretending?
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No. I don't believe you. I could tell.
Amy: (feigning excitement) Oh, Sheldon, I never thought re-filing a matter in a standing subcommittee could be so fascinating.
Sheldon: Hmm, what do you think?
Penny: You don't know?

Quote from Howard

Penny: Yeah, come on, Raj.
Raj: Wait, did Amy make her spinach dip?
Sheldon: She did.
Howard: And I'm gonna eat it all!

Quote from Leonard

Howard: So what the hell happened?
Leonard: Oh, I just ran out of patience with Sheldon's nonsense.
Howard: Tell me about it. I've had it with Raj, too.
Amy: You know, like women, men have a monthly hormone cycle. Dips in testosterone can cause irritability.
Howard: Interesting. Maybe my male cycle synced up with Raj's actual period.
Leonard: If Sheldon's testosterone dipped, he'd become a butterfly.

Quote from Leonard

Amy: Well, I just took your side 'cause sometimes I get annoyed at how close Sheldon and Penny are.
Leonard: Well, they argue all the time. They aren't that close.
Amy: Whos always comforting him when he's upset?
Leonard: Penny, but-
Amy: Who's the only one who can make him take his medicine when he's sick?
Leonard: I try to hide it in his peanut butter, but he spits it out.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Oh, well, then you'll enjoy this. Bernadette does the same thing with you and Koothrappali.
Howard: No, she doesn't.
Leonard: She defends him all the time.
Howard: She does not.
Amy: Who told you to stop making all those Gandhi jokes about him?
Howard: Well, she did. And human resources.
Leonard: Who do you think told Koothrappali to go to human resources?
Howard: Son of a bitch.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Amy, why did you tell him that?
Amy: Because you were defending Sheldon like you always do.
Penny: I don't always defend Sheldon.
Leonard: Oh, yes, you do. You know you have a weird brother-sister / Elliott - E.T. relationship with him.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: What about your weird relationship with him?
Leonard: That's different. I'm like the little girl in Poltergeist and he's the creepy thing in the TV.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: It just said Italian sub. I had no idea mortadella has pistachios in it.
Sheldon: Interesting fact, in Italian, the morta in mortadella means death.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: I didn't say fun fact. I'm not a monster.
Bernadette: He's gonna be okay.
Sheldon: Now it's a fun fact.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You know, if you think about it, tonight was kind of like a real-life Game of Thrones.
Amy: How?
Raj: Well, Howard eating that pistachio was like when King Joffrey got poisoned.
Penny: Okay, well, that was murder, this was an accident.
Raj: Okay. But you using Sheldon to do your dirty work is like when Cersei used the Kings Guard to do her bidding.
Sheldon: Cersei uses her body to manipulate men. Penny just takes me to The LEGO Store.
Raj: Okay. Oh, how about this? Stuart's dressed like a brother of the Night's Watch, and they don't have sex.
Penny: There you go.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: Fair enough.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, by the way, don't forget, tomorrow is our quarterly roommate agreement meeting.
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon, we don't need a meeting every three months.
Sheldon: Hmm? Well, it sounds like the kind of thing one would bring up at a quarterly roommate agreement meeting. Lucky for you, it's tomorrow.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: This meeting is a waste of time. Whether we make the switch from Post Raisin Bran to Kellogg's Raisin Bran should not require parliamentary procedure.
Sheldon: You realize one of them has sugar on the raisins.
Leonard: You're the only one who eats them.
Sheldon: And yet you get to weigh in. Democracy, it's pretty cool, isn't it?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You're being ridiculous.
Sheldon: There's a motion on the floor, I'm ridiculous. Do we have a second? Hmm? Hmm? There is no second. The motion is denied. Next time, make sure you have the votes first. That was embarrassing.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Well, why are you fighting him on this?
Leonard: Because I am tired of him always getting his way. We don't need a stupid meeting. We don't even need a roommate agreement, and I hope that sandwich does cause a party.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Why are you taking his side?
Penny: Because it's important to him, and when we signed the roommate agreement, we made a deal.
Sheldon: You keep talking like that, you're gonna make color guard.

Quote from Raj

Raj: But, dude, you're so lucky. Getting to stay home at night with the woman you love.
Howard: I guess I am lucky.
Raj: You are, because dating two women, I mean, I can't even remember the last time I slept in my own apartment. I wake up and I'm like, am I at Claire's or am I at Emily's? Is there a third girl I've forgotten about? Like, where am I?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Are you up-to-date on Game of Thrones?
Penny: Mmm, I think so. Dragons, snow zombies, and all the hot guys are dead.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. Theon Greyjoy looks pretty good for a guy who had his genitals cut off.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You know you're gonna make up with him. Can we just skip to that part?
Leonard: Oh, of course, because I'm the only adult around here.
Penny: Really? The only adult?
Leonard: Yeah, that's right.
Sheldon: Tonight, I'll be watching a show rated MA, and that stands for mature audiences, buster.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All this could be avoided if you'd just come to the meeting.
Leonard: I don't want to.
Sheldon: Oh, it's just a meeting. One simple meeting.
Leonard: Stop saying meeting.
Sheldon: Meeting, meeting, bow-beeting, banana-fana, fo-feeting, fee-fi mo-meeting.
Amy: I brought my famous spinach dip.
Sheldon: Yeah, Amy, just one second. Meeting.

Quote from Raj

Howard: If it's a girl, I mean, they're so innocent and you know how guys are.
Raj: Totally, guys are the worst. I mean, look at me. I let Emily make me a frittata and I kept the leftovers in Claires fridge that night. I'm such a dog.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What's going on with him?
Penny: Oh, he's all bent out of shape about having a roommate agreement meeting.
Sheldon: Apparently, perfect attendance isn't cool any more.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hey, did I say something to upset you?
Howard: No, I'm fine.
Raj: Really? Because usually we walk side by side, and I just went up two flights of stairs staring at your bottom.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Okay, I think I see what's happening here. You're jealous of me.
Howard: Oh, please. What could you possibly have that I would be jealous of?
Raj: It's not what I have, it's how many people I'm having it with.

Quote from Howard

Stuart: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: Stuart.
Stuart: Uh, is this not a dress-up party?
Leonard: No.
Stuart: Was it ever a dress-up party?
Leonard: No.
Stuart: Howard, didn't you tell me it was a dress-up party?
Howard: Yeah.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I'll catch you up. Uh, Penny is angry at Leonard, Leonard's angry at me and Penny, I'm angry at Leonard and Amy, Raj is angry at Howard, and I'm angry at George R.R. Martin 'cause there are no new books for me to spoil for Leonard.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: That was scary.
Sheldon: Well, the important thing is I said that big sandwich would ruin everything, and I was right.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *Knock, knock, knock* Leonard. *Knock, knock, knock* Leonard. *Knock, knock, knock* Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I never got to ask my question about Batman.
Leonard: What is it?
Sheldon: If Batman were bitten by a radioactive Man-Bat, and then fought crime disguised as Man-Bat, would he be Man-Bat-Man-Bat-Man or simply Man-Bat-Man-Bat-Batman?
Penny: Is he still wearing the Batman suit under the Man-Bat suit?
Sheldon: (a moment's pause) I'll be back.

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