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Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Colonel Williams: Look, guys, it's just a guidance system. It's not like you're handing us the Death Star from Star Trek.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Quote from Raj in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Raj: Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working on a top secret government project.
Leonard: Are you crazy? You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Penny: You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Amy: I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up.
Penny: That's super helpful, Amy. Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that.
Amy: I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Are you kidding? I've always been treated differently! Look at me. Listen to me. I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, "That's a scientist." It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is."

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Alfred Hofstadter: Look, I promise you, neither I, nor anyone, has ever said that.
Leonard: You don't know his girlfriend very well.
Sheldon: Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Bernadette: I now pronounce you husband and wife. And weird other husband who came with the apartment.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary Cooper: They're practicing for what's coming later.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Leonard: We're not gonna be brothers. We're not gonna be step brothers. Go to sleep.
Sheldon: I hope you're right. 'Cause a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: So, did you defile my mother or not?

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