Latest Quotes Page 1 of 389
Sheldon: You used to make those jokes about me. Now everything is Bert, Bert, Bert!
Amy: Sheldon, I'm not ready to have a baby. Oh, yes, you are! I track your cycle. For the next 36 hours you're as fertile as a manure-covered wheat field.
Amy: Wow. I can actually feel the egg crawling its way back up.
Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: I don't think so.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.
Sheldon: And you realize what the next step is?
Amy: Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results.
Sheldon: Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby.
Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?
Penny: How come you never eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married, I don't have to be attractive.
Raj: Well, I can't eat like a ten-year-old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?
Raj: Oh my god, I just got it. Fun onions. Funyuns. Hahahaha!
Sheldon: How much will it hurt?
Amy: It's just a tiny skin sample. You saw me do it to myself.
Sheldon: On a scale of one to ten, where one is a pebble in your shoe and ten is the monkey you thought was your pet biting your face off.
Amy: A two.
Sheldon: Eating a whole Altoid?
Bernadette: Still, I can't believe you can turn ordinary skin cells into functioning brain cells.
Amy: Well, I turned this one into a functioning boyfriend, so sky's the limit.
Leonard: She took my Where's Waldo.
Sheldon: Well, no, no, he's over there.
Leonard: Oh, yeah, there he is.
Raj: If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?
Raj: Not me, I'm a 100% honest in all of my relationships.
Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating-cake-on-the-toilet single.
Sheldon: Why would she keep something from me, you know? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind, I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic sport, I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is and then I'd take home the gold.
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