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Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Bernadette: Well, she's nine months old, so unless it jingles or is in my bra, she doesn't care.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Like, what'd you do last night?
Beverly Hofstadter: I had Cuban food at the home of a man with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse.
Penny: Wow. Okay.
Beverly Hofstadter: And to anticipate your next questions, roasted pork and sideways missionary.
Penny: Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: You don't even have a license.
Sheldon: Actually, I do.
Howard: Really? Since when?
Sheldon: Three years ago. I went on a bit of a license kick. I'm also a commercial fisherman.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.
Howard: You really want to drive?
Sheldon: It seems like the perfect time. The roads are straight, there's no one around, and you don't seem to care if you live or die.
Howard: Live, Sheldon. I want to live.
Sheldon: That makes things a little trickier, but I'll do my best.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself. Now I have to teach someone?

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Leonard: My mother's texting you?
Penny: Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.
Leonard: Why? She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Amy: I thought we agreed on June 15.
Sheldon: That's the day after Flag Day. Everyone'll be partied out.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Sheldon: Why can't there just be one week each month for famous people to die?
Amy: Well, they've already arranged to die in threes-- what more do you want from them?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Sheldon: Well, I found the perfect wedding date.
Amy: That's terrific!
Sheldon: No, it's not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding. And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.
Amy: Sheldon, you were 16.
Sheldon: And in Texas. No one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it's no good. That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.
And it's in the past.
Hey-hey, I said it's no good-- just let it go.

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: You want to play a game of "who's more desperate" with me? 'Cause you're in the big leagues now, Bucko.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Sheldon: Outdoor wedding. I know what I'll be using that cliff for.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Retraction Reaction

Amy: The university has been throwing money at my study. With any luck, there'll be a brain disease with my name on it.
Bernadette: Fingers crossed.
Amy: Which is ironic, because if you had Fowler's palsy, you wouldn't be able to cross your fingers.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Retraction Reaction

Amy: The more I told him about my lab, the pissier he got. You know what he said to me? He said, "I hope all your correlations turn out to be specious."
Bernadette: He said that to your face? What a dick.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Retraction Reaction

Bernadette: You know, there's so much money in pharmaceuticals, we don't even wash out our old test tubes. We just throw 'em out and get new ones.
Amy: I just got a brand new, state-of-the-art fMRI machine.
Bernadette: Whoa, those things are so expensive.
Amy: I know! Sometimes I just lie down in there and take a nap. It's like a million dollar bunk bed.

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