Latest Quotes Page 1 of 392
Amy: Aww, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.
Leonard: I would pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.
Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.
Penny: Pink wine and pizza bagels? It's like eighth grade all over again.
Penny: Is it normal for the husband to kind of completely stop giving a crap?
Bernadette: Uh-oh, what's going on?
Penny: Well, Leonard used to do all these things, like bring me flowers and wear pants.
Howard: Yeah, got to get her hooked on TV, or someday, she'll want me to play outside.
Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.
Amy: You know, there's a chance she might be okay with it.
Sheldon: Eh, I don't know. I am her precious little boy. And you did take my flower.
Sheldon: It was fine, other than the weird-tasting juice Amy gave me. I slept the whole way.
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord! Is that mistletoe? Don't you maniacs own a calendar?
Sheldon: Oh, you know. The Lone Star state. That should be its Yelp rating.
Penny: Do boys have flowers?
Leonard: Who knows what he has down there.
Penny: Oh, it's Bernadette. She says they're running late. "The baby threw up on Howard, and then Howard threw up on Howard."
Leonard: Well, he didn't throw up on the baby. That's a win.
Sheldon: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Mary Cooper: Sheldon, if you're trying to prove me wrong, the tighty-whities on your head ain't changing my mind.
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