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Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Leonard: He just made her laugh, something's wrong.
Raj: Do you see the way she's looking at him?
Howard: Yeah. Like Bernadette used to look at me.
Raj: I keep telling you, close the bathroom door.
Leonard: Ah, did you see that? She just touched his hand and he didn't swat it away. What is happening?
Howard: Okay, the simplest explanation is usually the right one.
Raj: Which is?
Howard: That ain't Sheldon.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Not only did they eat together, Leonard said he made her laugh.
Bernadette: That's nothing, Howie said she touched his hand.
Penny: Did he Purell?
Bernadette: No.
Penny: I cannot believe Leonard mentioned the Toblerone but left that part out.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Do you think living with Amy has somehow stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?
Bernadette: (grimacing with disgust) Ugh. How can you think that? Why would you even put those words together?

Quote from Penny in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: All right, then we agree. He's not making any moves, it's this Dr. Ramona chick.
Bernadette: Nowitzki. I Googled her, she's pretty cute.
Penny: Really? All I got from Leonard was the Toblerone bar had nuts.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: And get this, I saw an articulating ladder with dual-leg leveling, which delivers stability and adaptability to uneven terrain.
Amy: Sounds like a big night.
Sheldon: Yeah. Raj made the funniest joke, he said, "Which is the best ladder to use to hang myself?"

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: She's always been a huge fan of my work, and now she's doing research at Caltech.
Amy: Huge fan, you say?
Sheldon: Yes. I think you'd like her. She's extremely intelligent, just like you. Unlike you, she's tall, blonde and used to be an Olympic swimmer.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: We thought you meant not letting him run out into traffic.
Bernadette: Which he only did once.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Bernadette: We didn't want you to worry.
Amy: Should I worry?
Penny: No, come on, it's Sheldon. Nothing is gonna happen.
Amy: That's what you said to me when I started dating him. And then five years later, bingo-bango, something happened.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Well, what do you want us to do?
Amy: I don't know. Might be the New Jersey talking, but this Nowitzki broad needs to disappear.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: It's unbelievable. Sheldon has lunch with another woman and somehow my wife yells at me.
Leonard: Penny laid into me, too. Apparently, I'm overly fixated on premium Swiss chocolate bars.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Can you even eat those things?
Leonard: If I take a Lactaid a half-hour before and some Pepto right after.
Raj: Sounds like a lot of work.
Leonard: Eh, I'm worth it.

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: Should we do something about Nowitzki?
Leonard: Like what?
Raj: Well, she's single, so if somebody else asks her out and she says yes, then we know she's not into Sheldon.
Stuart: I'll do it.
Leonard: No offense, Stuart, but the woman's a doctor.
Stuart: So? Doctors like me. Whenever I see mine he calls in a bunch of other doctors to have a look.
Howard: She's not that kind of doctor.
Stuart: Oh. Well, her loss. I've been called a genuine medical oddity.

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Actually, I was going to suggest me.
Howard: Great. Anybody's better than, (glancing at Stuart) mmm.
Stuart: Excuse me. They took out my spleen and gallbladder, not my feelings.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Dr. Nowitzki. Good to see you.
Ramona Nowitzki: Good to see you, too.
Raj: May I join you?
Ramona Nowitzki: No.
Raj: Good to see you.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: We should call Guinness, that might be a record.

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