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Quote from Penny in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Howard: What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?
Penny: A shower.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Penny: Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello?
Leonard: Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: I admire your fingering.
Leonard: Thank you.
Leslie: Maybe some time you can try that on my instrument.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Penny: Leonard's had girls over before, right?
Sheldon: Oh, yes, but there's usually planning, courtship and advance notice. Last time I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.
Penny: Wait, you had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?
Sheldon: I didn't have to, the dates just happened to coincide.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: I don't know what the protocol is here. Do I stay, do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: I don't come into your house and touch your board.
Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh, that is so... so...
Leslie: I'm sorry, I've got to run. If you come up with an adjective, text me.

Quote from Leslie Winkle in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: Just so we're clear, you understand that me hanging back to practise with you is a pretext for letting you know that I'm sexually available.
Leonard: Really?
Leslie: Yeah, I'm good to go.
Leonard: I thought you weren't interested in me.
Leslie: That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.
Leonard: You mean my cello?
Leslie: No, I mean the obvious crude double entendre. I'm seducing you.

Quote from Leslie Winkle in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: Is it the waitress?
Leonard: Penny? What about her?
Leslie: Well, I thought I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her, which, unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Howard: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his charming good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary: I made chicken. I hope it's not one of the animals that you people think is magic.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Penny: This is the best cobbler I've ever had.
Mary Cooper: It was always Sheldon's favorite. You know what the secret ingredient is?
Penny: Love?
Mary Cooper: Lard.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: You know how your daddy used to say that you could only fish for so long before you gotta throw a stick of dynamite in the water?

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: I tell you, I love that boy to death but he has been difficult since he fell outta me at the K-Mart.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary: Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Thankfully, He blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup.

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