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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served.
Leonard: That's fine, you win.
Howard: What's his problem?
Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
Howard: Been there!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Penny: Yes, I know men can't fly.
Sheldon: No, no let's assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32ft per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Penny: And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: If you have time to lean you have time to clean.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: You're going march yourself over there right now and apologize (to Penny)!
Sheldon: Pfffft.
Leonard: What's funny?
Sheldon: Wasn't sarcasm?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Oh. Boy, you are all over the place this morning.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I have a masters and two PhDs. I should not have to do this.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Penny: Son of a bitch!
Leonard: Penny's up
Penny: You sick, geeky bastards!
Leonard: How did she know it was us?
Sheldon: I may have left a suggested organizational schematic for her bedroom closet.
Penny: Leonard!
Leonard: God this is going to be bad.
Sheldon: Good bye honey puffs. Hello big bran.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: You convinced me. Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet?
Sheldon: You don't think that crosses a line?
Leonard: Yes! For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
Sheldon: You have a sarcasm sign?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is this!
Leonard: Do you realize if Penny wakes up there's no reasonable explanation to why we are here?
Sheldon: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.
Sheldon: Don't be silly. I have no peers.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.
Leonard: Yes, and youve never met one of them.
Sheldon: Thats the beauty of it.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot

Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the suns apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: (puzzled) Participate in the what?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot

Sheldon: What if she ends up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot

Penny: I'm so sorry. I really thought if you guys went instead of me, he wouldn't be such an ass.
Leonard: No, it was a valid hypothesis.
Sheldon: "Was a valid hypo-" . What is happening to you?

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