Latest Quotes Page 1 of 392
Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.
Amy: You know, there's a chance she might be okay with it.
Sheldon: Eh, I don't know. I am her precious little boy. And you did take my flower.
Sheldon: It was fine, other than the weird-tasting juice Amy gave me. I slept the whole way.
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord! Is that mistletoe? Don't you maniacs own a calendar?
Sheldon: Oh, you know. The Lone Star state. That should be its Yelp rating.
Penny: Do boys have flowers?
Leonard: Who knows what he has down there.
Penny: Oh, it's Bernadette. She says they're running late. "The baby threw up on Howard, and then Howard threw up on Howard."
Leonard: Well, he didn't throw up on the baby. That's a win.
Sheldon: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Mary Cooper: Sheldon, if you're trying to prove me wrong, the tighty-whities on your head ain't changing my mind.
Sheldon: I knew we should've never mentioned us living together in the first place.
Amy: She was gonna find out eventually.
Sheldon: Disagree. We've known about evolution since 1859. She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.
Bernadette: How can she hate me? I make her food in my chest! It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.
Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.
Sheldon: It says here that up to 80% of new mothers experience baby blues. And that the best thing to do is reassure them that they're doing a good job. Bernadette, you are doing a good job.
Bernadette: Thank you, Sheldon, I'm feeling better now.
Sheldon: Thank you, Internet. I'm telling you, with the right YouTube video, I can give Howard a vasectomy.
Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: A functional MRI of my brain. I did Sudoku before they took it so I'd be ripped.
Amy: I love it. Thank you.
Sheldon: And it's not just an MRI. The orbitofrontal cortex is lit up because I was thinking of you.
Sheldon: I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie I bought this kid.
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