Latest Quotes Page 1 of 492

Quote from Amy in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Amy: I gave you one job! Keep an eye on him. How hard is that?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Okay, let's try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Sheldon: I already do.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Come on, looks don't matter to Sheldon. ... Because he only has eyes for you!
Amy: Nice try.
Penny: Thanks, I was scrambling.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: What just happened?
Howard: A stranger just lured Sheldon away with a candy bar.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Amy: It's so strange. Earlier today, I ended a sentence with a preposition, and you weren't there to correct my grammar.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Amy: In fact, that's when I started to really miss you.
Sheldon: You know you just split an infinitive.
Amy: Did I? Are you gonna teach me a lesson?
Sheldon: I am. It is naughty to put an adverb between the word "to" and the verb stem.
Amy: What are you gonna do about it?
Sheldon: I'm going to admonish you.
Amy: Vigorously?
Sheldon: That's the only kind of admonishing I do.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Amy: I've been smacking that ketchup bottle for a long time. All she has to do is tip it over and point it at her fries.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: I've learned some fun facts about New Jersey to help you make small talk. Would you like to know the state bird or the murder rate? They're both shocking.
Amy: Actually, I want to hear about you. How are things at home?
Sheldon: Well, I'm a lot less likely to see an Eastern Goldfinch or be murdered, I'll tell you that.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: How's Sheldon doing with Amy gone?
Leonard: Well, the last three nights I've had to take him to get a haircut, to the train store, and to a Walgreens in Arcadia where they still have the "good ibuprofen." Now, ask me how I'm doing with Amy gone.
Raj: How are you doing with-
Leonard: Shut up.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: If you'd like, we can help you out.
Leonard: Oh, that would be great.
Howard: I mean, not me, I've got a wife and child, but this one posts video of himself flossing on Instagram.
Raj: It was a tutorial. And yes, I'm happy to keep Sheldon company.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Leonard: Tonight he wants to look at ladders at Home Depot.
Raj: Oh, why does he need a ladder?
Leonard: He doesn't; he just likes looking at them. Bring a book.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: Gentlemen, you may remember Dr. Nowitzki. She's back at Caltech for her postdoc.
Leonard: Hello.
Ramona Nowitzki: Hello.
Raj: Hi. Oh, let me bring a chair for you.
Sheldon: Oh, thanks. Dr. Nowitzki's going to tell me about the work she did at CERN. And she brought me this duty-free Toblerone.
Leonard: Oh. I love those.
Sheldon: (To Ramona) Let's sit somewhere else.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Leonard: Wait, isn't she the grad student that used to follow him around?
Howard: Oh, yeah. Back before he hit puberty and grew man parts.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: So, tell me about your scalar dark energy experiment.
Ramona Nowitzki: Not 'til you tell me about your latest paper on quantum loop theory.
Sheldon: Oh. You must be one of those dessert before dinner people.

Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 7,368

Submit Quotes