Season 1 Quotes Page 26 of 36

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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sheldon: Were you trying to impress Penny?
Leonard: No, no not at all. ... A little bit.
Sheldon: How'd that work out for you?
Penny: (entering the apartment) Leonard, ready to go?
Sheldon: Libido 1, Truth 0.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sheldon: As I have explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don't need validation from lesser minds. No offense.
Leonard: Really, so why did you come?
Sheldon: Because I knew you’d screw this up.
Leonard: I didn't screw it up.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I admit, that spherical chicken joke, that was hilarious. But it was straight downhill from there.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: See, the liquid metal Terminators were created in the future by Skynet, and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson, but that future no longer exists due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2.
Sheldon: Okay, then riddle me this. Assuming all the good Terminators were originally evil Terminators created by Skynet but then reprogrammed by the future John Connor, why would Skynet, an artificial computer intelligence, bother to create a petite hot 17 year-old killer robot?
Leonard: Skynet is kinky? I don't know.
Sheldon: Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: Do you have a cousin Leopold?
Sheldon: No, I made him up. I think you'd call him Lee.
Leonard: I don't get it. I already told her a lie. Why replace it with a different lie?
Sheldon: Well, first of all, your lie was laughably transparent, where mine is exquisitely convoluted. While you were sleeping I was weaving an un-unravelable web.
Leonard: un-unravelable?
Sheldon: Yes, if she Googles "Leopold Houston" she'll find a Facebook page, an online blog depicting his descent into drug use, and a desperate yet hopeful listing on e-Harmony.com.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Tangerine Factor

Sheldon: (In Mandarin) Many oxen are in my bed! Many, many oxen!
*Chen flings his hands at Sheldon*
Sheldon: (Mandarin) Oy Vey.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Wolowitz: So, how'd it go with Leslie?
Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Tangerine Factor

Raj: Hey, look, I found an iPod.
Howard: It's smashed beyond repair. What are you gonna do with it?
Raj: What else? Sell it on eBay as slightly used.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Leonard: (Talking about Raj to Penny) Don't you have a drink that could make him less obnoxious?
Penny: Drinks do not do that.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Penny: Anyway, I was talking to Leonard this morning and I think he feels really bad about it.
Sheldon: Huh.
Penny: Well, how do you feel?
Sheldon: I don't understand the question.
Penny: Well I'm just asking if it's difficult to be fighting with your best friend.
Sheldon: Oh. I hadn't thought about it like that. I wonder if I've been experiencing physiological manifestations of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: I couldn't poop this morning.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: It's a small, brown paper bag, ma, I'm looking at it right now. Why would I make that up? There's no Ding Dong in it. How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow gonna help me today?

Quote from Raj in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Leonard: You guys ready?
Raj: In a minute. Howard stepped outside to throw up.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Dr. Koothrappali: Tilt up the camera, I'm looking at his crotch.
Raj: Sorry, Papa!
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, there's much better. Hi.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: (Knocking) Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
Leonard: Let it go, Sheldon. The murderer was the first mate whether it made sense to you or not.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Howard: I don't know, Sheldon, those topical conferences on Bowes-Einstein condensates parties are legendary.
Leonard: Forget the parties.
Howard: Forget the parties!? What a nerd!

Quote from Raj in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Rajesh: Why don't we do it your way then? We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Leonard: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rajesh: You started it, dude.

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