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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: Listen, you and I are gonna be sharing a bed. You know, this is uncharted territory for both of us. How are you feeling about that?
Sheldon: Oh, excited, concerned, a little scared. All the same emotions I feel in line at Space Mountain.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Bernadette: I now pronounce you husband and wife. And weird other husband who came with the apartment.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary Cooper: They're practicing for what's coming later.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: So, did you defile my mother or not?

Quote from Penny in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Penny: You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Are you kidding? I've always been treated differently! Look at me. Listen to me. I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, "That's a scientist." It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is."

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Military Miniaturization

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: No matter where I am, this will always be my spot.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water.
Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Leonard: Never leave a belt on the floor. At night, they look like snakes.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: Comfy?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm just happy I don't know what this memory foam remembers.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Sheldon: It's also why I never open a door without knocking three times. I mean, the first one's traditional, but two and three are for people to get their pants on.

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