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Quote from Raj in the episode The Holiday Summation

Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: Listen, you and I are gonna be sharing a bed. You know, this is uncharted territory for both of us. How are you feeling about that?
Sheldon: Oh, excited, concerned, a little scared. All the same emotions I feel in line at Space Mountain.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Brain Bowl Incubation

Bernadette: Still, I can't believe you can turn ordinary skin cells into functioning brain cells.
Amy: Well, I turned this one into a functioning boyfriend, so sky's the limit.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: A functional MRI of my brain. I did Sudoku before they took it so I'd be ripped.
Amy: I love it. Thank you.
Sheldon: And it's not just an MRI. The orbitofrontal cortex is lit up because I was thinking of you.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary Cooper: They're practicing for what's coming later.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Sheldon: No, I know, but plenty of things are addictive after a single exposure. I mean, crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles. You know, once one pops one just can't stop.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Veracity Elasticity

Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind, I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic sport, I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is and then I'd take home the gold.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Raj: Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.
Penny: Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Holiday Summation

Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Sheldon: Welcome to Texas.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Amy: Aww, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Leonard: You know, I do have a way to get him out of our hair. I've been holding onto this for a few years, but maybe now's the time.
Howard: We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
Leonard: You can't kill him; he'll just respawn at the last save point.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: I'm mapping basic topics of conversation and with whom they can be discussed.
I call these circles "Zones of Privacy". Don't Google that unless you want to see pictures of people's genitals.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Separation Agitation

Raj: Sheldon, what did Amy have that attracted you?
Sheldon: Oh, so many things. Her mind, her kindness, and especially her body.
Raj: Really?
Amy: Relax. We're the same blood type. He knew he could harvest an organ.

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